bobbling primitive knows what humiliation does to people

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=230x3815

Oh my.

oktoberain  (1000+ posts)        Fri Nov-21-08 04:39 PM
Original message
 
And now, the depressing part of the season begins. *sigh*

WCLG/Council of Social Agencies & Christian Help
2008 Holiday Food & Toy Registration

You must bring the following items with you to register:
* Proof of Income
* Proof of Expenses
* Birth Certificate, Social Security Card, Driver’s License and (if applicable) Medical Card for Each Family Member

I know, I know. It's wrong to look a gift horse in the mouth, and beggars can't be choosers. I just cannot help but get depressed over having to haul out verifications of our poverty (which makes me feel vaguely like a potential criminal or something,) and then either lie or be extremely evasive about my same-sex domestic partner, for fear of being rejected. If I am approved, I then get stand in line for 3 hours in the freezing cold with a laundry basket, so somebody can fill it with food and a some toys for the Kidlet--rather like a beggar with an unusually-large bowl. It makes me miserable to go through it, but I have no other reasonable option. My feelings are not a priority--the Kidlet's holiday dinner and Christmas morning ARE. We can't provide it on our own, so we do what we have to do.

Still, they're being "charitable," and they do not for a single moment let you forget it. *sigh*

I like the Catholic place better--they are so kind about it, and they don't require umpteen humiliating "proofs" of destitution before they offer help. For others who've gotten help from churches--am I the only one who's noticed that Protestant churches tend to be a lot more suspicious than Catholic ones?

Maybe all this proof is needed to stop charity fraud, such as in the case of the greenbriar primitive spending megabucks on new clothes but then applying for free chow.

Cleita  (1000+ posts)        Fri Nov-21-08 04:44 PM
Response to Original message
 
1. People don't realize how humiliating getting charity can be.
 
I hope you have a happy holiday season anyway afterwards.

oktoberain  (1000+ posts)        Fri Nov-21-08 04:46 PM
Response to Reply #1

2. Yeah. I understand why it has to be that way.

Some people are horrible enough to cheat a charity, and without verifications, genuinely needy people might go without because other people cheated. But that reality doesn't do much to lessen the humiliation, you know?

Uh-huh.  The greenbriar primitive again.

And I'll bet Chief Sitting Bull, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive, is going to chow down at that city mission dinner his wife's volunteered to help cook.

bobbolink  (1000+ posts)        Fri Nov-21-08 10:56 PM
Response to Reply #2
 
4. I don't think it *does* have to.

I really don't.

I wish I knew how to make it better for you, because I really do know what that humiliation does to a person!

oktoberain  (1000+ posts)        Sat Nov-22-08 07:23 AM
Response to Reply #4

7. I know you do.
 
How are you looking for the holidays, dear? Are you going to be okay?

bobbolink  (1000+ posts)        Sat Nov-22-08 09:52 PM
Response to Reply #7
 
10. How kind and thoughtful of you to ask!
 
What I'm trying to figure out is where to be on Thanksgiving, as everything is closed that day, and I can't sit in a cold car all day.

Same with Christmas.

Unfortunately, I'm a physical being, and have to physically be somewhere.

One of these days I'll figure out how to be an air plant! ^_^

You'll be in my thoughts!

bobbolink  (1000+ posts)        Fri Nov-21-08 10:55 PM
Response to Reply #1
 
3. Many years ago, I saw a news video about doctors who are required to go through being a geriatric patient, as part of their training.

Once they've experienced it from *that* side, their compassion comes a bit easier.

I'm thinking it should be the same thing for staff and volunteers of "helping" agencies... they MUST first experience it themselves, before they "do unto others".

It's so very sad that we, as humans, have come to the point where we can't seem to empathize unless we've walked down the path.

shrike  (1000+ posts)     Sat Nov-22-08 10:30 AM
Response to Original message
 
8. Glad to hear "the Catholic place" is nice to you

Our church doesn't turn anybody away or give the third degree -- the food pantry has even helped stranded travelers who needed food and cash.

Our pastor scolded parishioners during a sermon because some wanted their donations to only to go to parish families. This is a rich parish, he said, the people in need aren't here.

As for being less suspicious, with our history we have no business judging anyone!

bobbolink  (1000+ posts)        Sat Nov-22-08 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #8
 
11. Hurrah for your pastor!

Must have actually been reading the Gospel.

What a concept.

Does anybody besides me have the image of the bobbling primitive sitting at the table, chewing on saltine crackers with her gums, dribbling it down the front of her dress?

I have no idea why I have that image, but there it is.

maryf  (535 posts)        Sun Nov-23-08 05:20 PM
Response to Original message
 
12. So sorry 

Your kidlet's and your survival is dependent on sacrificing your dignity...its not right...

bobbolink  (1000+ posts)        Tue Nov-25-08 06:55 PM
Response to Reply #12
 
13. "Your kidlet's and your survival is dependent on sacrificing your dignity"

YEs, that is the situation for any of us who are not able to make it in this society.

Isn't it just "PROGRESSIVE" of us to put people in this situation?

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

bobbolink  (1000+ posts)        Sat Nov-22-08 09:52 PM
Response to Reply #7
 
10. How kind and thoughtful of you to ask!
 
What I'm trying to figure out is where to be on Thanksgiving, as everything is closed that day, and I can't sit in a cold car all day.
Same with Christmas.

Unfortunately, I'm a physical being, and have to physically be somewhere.

One of these days I'll figure out how to be an air plant! ^_^

You'll be in my thoughts!

I would go to the movie theater! They're open on Thanksgiving! Or Booblehead can stop being such a ******* downer and make some friends so she has someplace to go on the holidays{obviously she's pissed off all of her relatives!}

[Texacon]

I would go to the movie theater! They're open on Thanksgiving! Or Booblehead can stop being such a ******* downer and make some friends so she has someplace to go on the holidays{obviously she's pissed off all of her relatives!}

It should have stayed in the housing it had rather than griping about everything it gets for free.

KC

[Texacon]

I'm sorry, this may be cold but I think getting handouts SHOULD be degrading and uncomfortable for people.  The less pleasant it is the easier it is to get off the tit.

KC

[franksolich]

I'm sorry, this may be cold but I think getting handouts SHOULD be degrading and uncomfortable for people.  The less pleasant it is the easier it is to get off the tit.

I sort of agree.

Not 100%, but maybe 90%.

[Lord Undies]

What's this "waiting in line for three hours" crap?  What a bunch of heartstring baloney!  Is anything real on Little Goons Island?

The charities I worked with always delivered the food baskets and toys to the home (or car   ) of the needy.    

Why must every Little Goon try to paint a Dickens picture?  We aren't living in the late 19th century.

*****************

BTW, while my wife was shopping at Walmart* yesterday, I went around and priced a decent tradition Thanksgiving meal which could feed six.  I could have bought it for less than $25.00.  That included a pumpkin pie.

[USA4ME]

Cleita

People don't realize how humiliating getting charity can be.

Low-income housing is a form of charity, but the bobbling primitive wants that.  The gov't taking from those who can pay their own way and giving it away to those who can't is a form of charity, howbeit forced at least on the part of one doing the giving.  Seems libs like to humiliate people if it makes them feel better about themselves.  Very selfish people.

.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

I'm sorry, this may be cold but I think getting handouts SHOULD be degrading and uncomfortable for people.  The less pleasant it is the easier it is to get off the tit.

KC

I don't know about the degrading part....but it should come with some strings in the form of at least trying to get employment no matter how menial the work. You gain more from raising a person up,degrading them does just the opposite.

[Texacon]

I don't know about the degrading part....but it should come with some strings in the form of at least trying to get employment no matter how menial the work. You gain more from raising a person up,degrading them does just the opposite.

I think I phrased that poorly.  I don't mean those giving the charity should be degrading to others .... I think those receiving it should feel bad for needing it.  That is not even a good way to phrase it.  I remember the stigma attached to those getting food stamps/free lunches/welfare/etc. when I was growing up and a lot of that is gone.  I think there should be a stigma attached to it.  I remember when that stigma was there how much people would do to NOT get on those doles and how hard they worked to get off them.

For what it is worth, *I* got free lunches in school .... as a son of a truck driver (when they didn't make a lot) with 4 brothers and a mom who would take just about any kind of work to make sure we had food and clothes.  I know what it was like and I know it is one of the reasons I'm as driven as I am.

KC

[Chris_]

oktoberain is always looking for handouts.  She has tapped many pockets.

She constantly posts how poor she and her partner are and will make a list of the things they need hoping someone will give it to them. She always puts at the end, "I hope we can get this".

Look, I have nothing against helping someone in need.  But these two always want something. For free.  Begging is becoming a full time job for some of them.

She is so poor but brags about getting drunk.  Priorities people.  Your child comes first and it's YOUR responsibility to provide.

Does he not have a father ?   Go after that child support.

[franksolich]

I think I phrased that poorly.

There isn't anything wrong with the way it was phrased.

[Texacon]

There isn't anything wrong with the way it was phrased.

Frank, I think the way I phrased it originally it looked like I was advocating for those doing the giving to be demeaning to those receiving.  I don't believe that for a minute.  I think those receiving should completely understand they are living off the backs of others though and it should give them an incentive.

I give to my community all the time in different ways and I would never demean those I give to but I do want them to understand what they are receiving may be free to them but it is not free to those giving it.  There are sacrifices made to give and the recipient should know and understand that.

Thanks for the comment though.

KC

[AllosaursRus]

I think I phrased that poorly.  I don't mean those giving the charity should be degrading to others .... I think those receiving it should feel bad for needing it.  That is not even a good way to phrase it.  I remember the stigma attached to those getting food stamps/free lunches/welfare/etc. when I was growing up and a lot of that is gone.  I think there should be a stigma attached to it.  I remember when that stigma was there how much people would do to NOT get on those doles and how hard they worked to get off them.

For what it is worth, *I* got free lunches in school .... as a son of a truck driver (when they didn't make a lot) with 4 brothers and a mom who would take just about any kind of work to make sure we had food and clothes.  I know what it was like and I know it is one of the reasons I'm as driven as I am.

KC

Right after I and "Toots" first got married, we had a little one, the wife had some "female" problems, which tapped me out completely, and I got laid off to boot. We were hurtin' for certain! We went down to apply for assistance. The welfare worker was a total ass and treated me like I couldn't take care of my own.

She handed me a pile of papers to fill out all the while talking down to me. I threw the whole mess into her "round" file and walked out! Went down to the local ice house and loaded box cars in -20 degree freezers on a dollar an hour basis. DAMN that job SUCKED big time but it got us thru the hard time.

Where there is a will there is a way! I find it hard to believe these dregs of society can continually get away with living off the public TIT! There's always work out there if you're willing to do it!

[Texacon]

Right after I and "Toots" first got married, we had a little one, the wife had some "female" problems, which tapped me out completely, and I got laid off to boot. We were hurtin' for certain! We went down to apply for assistance. The welfare worker was a total ass and treated me like I couldn't take care of my own.

She handed me a pile of papers to fill out all the while talking down to me. I threw the whole mess into her "round" file and walked out! Went down to the local ice house and loaded box cars in -20 degree freezers on a dollar an hour basis. DAMN that job SUCKED big time but it got us thru the hard time.

Where there is a will there is a way! I find it hard to believe these dregs of society can continually get away with living off the public TIT! There's always work out there if you're willing to do it!

I think the major difference between 'then' and NOW is these folks feel like it is owed to them somehow.  If I remember correctly it says "the PURSUIT of happiness" ..... I don't remember it saying the guarantee of happiness.

KC

[BlueStateSaint]

There's always work out there if you're willing to do it!

And therin lies the problem, according to the DUmb****s.  Most are not willing to do that kind of work.

Texacon, look at my sig line . . .

[Texacon]

And therin lies the problem, according to the DUmb****s.  Most are not willing to do that kind of work.

Texacon, look at my sig line . . .

Outstanding sig line.  I thought I had read something like that in a document somewhere but .... I couldn't recall.   

KC