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Author Topic: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum  (Read 4881 times)

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Offline bijou

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Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« on: October 31, 2008, 12:26:42 PM »
Quote
A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.
The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

...
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2008, 12:28:01 PM »
This spud's for you!
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2008, 12:29:26 PM »
He better stay away from the tater tots.   :fuelfire:
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Offline RobJohnson

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2008, 12:30:45 PM »
Would you like fries with that?
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2008, 12:30:49 PM »
Quote from: bijou on October 31, 2008, 12:26:42 PM
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Ok, 'splain to me why he was hanging kitchen curtains whilst nekkid.   :whatever:
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Offline bijou

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #5 on: October 31, 2008, 12:32:17 PM »
Quote from: lug-nut on October 31, 2008, 12:30:49 PM
Ok, 'splain to me why he was hanging kitchen curtains whilst nekkid.   :whatever:
Because he didn't want the neighbours to see him with no clothes on.  :lmao:
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #6 on: October 31, 2008, 12:32:28 PM »
Quote from: lug-nut on October 31, 2008, 12:29:26 PM
He better stay away from the tater tots.   :fuelfire:

It's a good thing he didn't fall on a watermelon.
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2008, 12:33:13 PM »
Quote from: lug-nut on October 31, 2008, 12:30:49 PM
Ok, 'splain to me why he was hanging kitchen curtains whilst nekkid.   :whatever:

Because it's the law?
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Offline Splashdown

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2008, 12:33:36 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on October 31, 2008, 12:32:28 PM
It's a good thing he didn't fall on a watermelon.

Or a cheese grater!  :censored:
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2008, 01:06:32 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on October 31, 2008, 12:28:01 PM
This spud's for you!

You deserve a H5 for that one!

 :rotf:

Quote
The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

Definitely not.  Nope.  Couldn't be that.  Noooo sir.  Uh-uh.  Never even occurred to me that it might be.

 :evillaugh:
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Offline mamacags

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2008, 01:15:09 PM »
I have fallen in the bathtub naked several times.  I am naturally gifted with grace that way.  Anyway, I have never even come close to having something jamb up my ass when I fall.  I suppose if I spread my butt cheeks apart and threw some vaseline or something back there I could maybe have something small get inserted during a fall.  Stuff does not just accidentally fly up your ass without any help.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2008, 01:17:12 PM »
Quote from: mamacags on October 31, 2008, 01:15:09 PM
I have fallen in the bathtub naked several times.  I am naturally gifted with grace that way.  Anyway, I have never even come close to having something jamb up my ass when I fall.  I suppose if I spread my butt cheeks apart and threw some vaseline or something back there I could maybe have something small get inserted during a fall.  Stuff does not just accidentally fly up your ass without any help.
T M I!!!!
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Offline mamacags

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2008, 01:20:00 PM »
You are such a prude freedumb  :-)  I didn't even get started about stuff I saw on this one internet site where they show things that have been removed from people's butts.
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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2008, 02:56:35 PM »
Quote from: mamacags on October 31, 2008, 01:15:09 PM
I have fallen in the bathtub naked several times.  I am naturally gifted with grace that way.  Anyway, I have never even come close to having something jamb up my ass when I fall.  I suppose if I spread my butt cheeks apart and threw some vaseline or something back there I could maybe have something small get inserted during a fall.  Stuff does not just accidentally fly up your ass without any help.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

H5 for one of the funniest posts I've read in a while!

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Offline Odin's Hand

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2008, 03:03:53 PM »
"One in a million shot, doc! One in a million!"
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2008, 03:07:28 PM »
Quote from: mamacags on October 31, 2008, 01:15:09 PM
I have fallen in the bathtub naked several times.  I am naturally gifted with grace that way.  Anyway, I have never even come close to having something jamb up my ass when I fall.  I suppose if I spread my butt cheeks apart and threw some vaseline or something back there I could maybe have something small get inserted during a fall.  Stuff does not just accidentally fly up your ass without any help.

Are you forgetting Fusilli Jerry?
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Offline mamacags

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2008, 03:47:07 PM »
Quote from: Lord Undies on October 31, 2008, 03:07:28 PM
Are you forgetting Fusilli Jerry?

I must have, please refresh my memory.
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Offline Thor

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2008, 09:09:23 PM »
I'm sorry, but I really have to throw the BS flag  on the Vicar's statement.  :bs:

I guess he forgot the 10 commandments, f'n pervert.... :hammer: :hammer:
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Offline MrsSmith

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #18 on: October 31, 2008, 09:23:09 PM »
I guess I just don't "get" why anyone would pick something that might be difficult to, um, hang on to...and remove?  There have to be better choices in any household than a potato.   ::) ::)
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #19 on: October 31, 2008, 10:15:16 PM »
Quote from: MrsSmith on October 31, 2008, 09:23:09 PM
I guess I just don't "get" why anyone would pick something that might be difficult to, um, hang on to...and remove?  There have to be better choices in any household than a potato.   ::) ::)

Well, I'm guessing in the heat of the moment...you just...uh, well...just grab the first thing that you see.

Having rabid monkey sex in the root cellar might've been the AO...or things just sort of got out of hand in the pantry.

But I ain't buyin' the biz about hangin' curtains. No way. Uh-uh.  :bs:
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #20 on: November 01, 2008, 07:50:06 AM »
I don't even like the thoughts of the doctor sticking his finger up there. But if I found myself in that quandary, I believe I would have come up with something more original. Like, maybe, "I was experimenting with 'preparatory potato planting processes', or maybe, 'reverse osmosis food nutrient uptake'. That's an off=the-wall occurrence and needs an off-the-wall explanation......still funny tho.
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Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #21 on: November 01, 2008, 08:03:13 AM »
If I fell and something like this happened to me, I would give the following lie:
It was a potato gun! I didn't know it was loaded! All I did was set it down in the bathroom so I could take a shower. And whilst I was bent over adjusting the water, the potato gun fell and went off.
There you have it, one Mannnly excuse.
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Offline RobJohnson

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #22 on: November 01, 2008, 10:33:29 AM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on November 01, 2008, 07:50:06 AM
I don't even like the thoughts of the doctor sticking his finger up there. But if I found myself in that quandary, I believe I would have come up with something more original. Like, maybe, "I was experimenting with 'preparatory potato planting processes', or maybe, 'reverse osmosis food nutrient uptake'. That's an off=the-wall occurrence and needs an off-the-wall explanation......still funny tho.

Your doctor does what?

If you feel both of his hands on your shoulders,it's not a finger.  :evillaugh:
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Offline RightCoast

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #23 on: November 01, 2008, 02:19:28 PM »
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Offline Happy Fun Ball

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Re: Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
« Reply #24 on: November 01, 2008, 02:45:06 PM »
Sam: What we need is a few good taters.
Gollum: What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?
Sam: *Po-tay-toes!* Boil 'em, mash 'em, shove 'em up yer bum... Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish.
[Gollum makes a noise of disgust while sticking his tongue out]
Sam: Even you couldn't say no to that.
Gollum: Oh yes we could. Spoilin' nice fish. Give it to us raw and w-r-r-riggling; you keep nasty chips.
Sam: You're hopeless.
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