They are just getting pitiful with their bouncies.

Come on now. Give the poor DUmbAss a break. It's a low post count idiot making up a story to try to get some DU street cred. While it's not really up to BouncyBall standards, I did like the creativity of adding in a more intelligent mammal (the dog) to the mix. You know that in real life the dog would be thinking "Please! Please! Rescue me from this leftwing lunatic!"
Lurking DUmmies, now that I think about it, a dog would be good to use in one of your made-up conversion fairy tales. In the fictional tale, you meet an "evil" Rethug with a dog companion, and you use your vast intellect to convert the dog to the lunatic way of life. Then have all of the watching dogs cheer the converted dog for finally seeing the light.