So why do I feel guilty?

[CC27]

1monster (11,039 posts)

So why do I feel guilty?

I went to a shopping center today to pick up a little surprise for my stepdaughter. As I was leaving the parking lot, I saw a big, beautiful rainbow.

By the traffic lights at the exit, I noticed a woman of indeterminate age (somewhere between 40 and 60) holding a sign. I did not notice what the sign said. She looked like she has had a hard life (hence the reason I couldn't guess her age). Her teeth were gone.

I knew the only cash I had was a100 dollar bill stashed in a secret compartnent of my bag. As I pulled up to the light, there was no other traffic (unusual). Something inside me said, "Give it to her. She needs it."

So I stopped beside her and asked if she saw the rainbow? Where she asked as I grabbed my bag. I pointed and struggled to get the bill out, thinking I needed to hurry before other cars pulled up wanting out. Amazingly, none did.

I got the bill out, handed it to her with a smile and said, "It's your lucky day!" She started to thank me, then looked at the bill. The overcome shock on her face... she looked like she might faint. I just smiled, said "Have a nice day!" and drove off.

At first I had that nice glow of knowing that I'd done something nice for someone who really needed some kindness and no one knew it but me and the woman who doesn't have a clue who I am.

But then that nasty voice inside started questioning my motives. Then there was the condemnatory voice reminding me that I support my son and step son, and while I didn't need that $100 now, who knows what the future brings. And the worst accusatory voice said I did it for self aggrandisement. And that all made me feel squirmy, embarrassed, and guilty.

All I wanted to do was do something nice for someone who probably isn't often the recipiant of nice gestures.

PS: Not looking for praise or commendations. None of you know me so I could post this anonymously. I'm just trying to figure out why I'm so darned mean to myself...

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100220682154

I have a feel this never happened

[FlippyDoo]

So, let's pretend that this did actually happen instead of being a standard DU fabricated story. Doesn't that mean that Orange Man Bad has the economy going well enough for a DUmmie to have a $100 to spare?

Tip: when you make up a story you should think it through before typing it out.

[SVPete]

Well to answer the DU-member's "question", you feel guilty because economic envy and hatred of "excess" success is Prog dogma.

Several decades ago (Reagan-GHWB era) the San Jose Murky Skews dared to check out some of the guys sitting at street corners and freeway offramps holding begging signs. The Murk found that they were not what their signs claimed, and that their begging was their "career" that supported living in ordinary middle-class houses. For that reason, I focus my giving with orgs I know.

[FlaGator]

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Mathew 6:1-4

[enslaved1]

Well to answer the DU-member's "question", you feel guilty because economic envy and hatred of "excess" success is Prog dogma.

Several decades ago (Reagan-GHWB era) the San Jose Murky Skews dared to check out some of the guys sitting at street corners and freeway offramps holding begging signs. The Murk found that they were not what their signs claimed, and that their begging was their "career" that supported living in ordinary middle-class houses. For that reason, I focus my giving with orgs I know.

Been stories like that much more recently here in DFW Texas.  Some folks stand on those corners and go home to their nice apartments.  Some pool their earnings from the intersection.  Some have the sketchy dude sitting in the shade who takes his cut of the earnings.  And some are legitimately in trouble and can't get back on their feet.

Every now and again, a small still voice does tell me to get something to eat from the convenience store and give it to the guy sitting outside.  Don't get those at the stop light though, take what you will from that.   

I also ask lurkers again, where are the people who drop hundreds of thousands of dollars on "campaign fundraisers" every year when it comes to housing, feeding, educating and training these folk in need? 

[DUmpDiver]