I had a meltdown on the artist's forum last night. I am so sorry to DU.

[CC27]

LiberalLoner (10,576 posts)

I had a meltdown on the artist's forum last night. I am so sorry to DU.
I am very grateful for the kind DUers who gave me support and hope.

I think everything has been getting to me a bit.

I don’t want to do art work anymore and I thought, I don’t think that will ever come back, I think my happiness is over, what is the point of anything? You know how you can spiral into those thoughts. And feeling like a failure because none of my work the last couple of months has been anything but garbage, and I thought, well there goes my hope that I still had something to give to the world, now I am useless and worthless. The dark thoughts.

Trying to do better today and stop myself from spiraling.

I feel shell shocked too from all that is going on, from what my husband tells me as a federal worker in DC. I feel hopeless on that front, too. We are all grappling with those feelings now.

It is so hard.

I’m grateful for the DUers who showed me kindness and patience last night and I apologize for my meltdown, and I should have posted it here and not there. I went there because I wanted to tell my fellow artists why I haven’t posted in awhile and why I maybe won’t post there ever again.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/115121678

DUmmies are whack jobs

[SVPete]

I feel shell shocked too from all that is going on, from what my husband tells me as a federal worker in DC. ...

Dude's job might be in jeopardy? Welcome to the real world where companies have hard times and manglement sometimes does stupid @#$%. BTDTGTTS, a drawer-full.

I've been through 5 layoffs and a move-or-move-on job change. During every lay-off my wife was being a stay-at-home-Mom (mutual choice), i.e. we were a single-income household. Not once did she "melt down" under the obvious pressure or do other than support me while carrying on.

[BannedFromDU]

Dude's job might be in jeopardy? Welcome to the real world where companies have hard times and manglement sometimes does stupid @#$%. BTDTGTTS, a drawer-full.

I've been through 5 layoffs and a move-or-move-on job change. During every lay-off my wife was being a stay-at-home-Mom (mutual choice), i.e. we were a single-income household. Not once did she "melt down" under the obvious pressure or do other than support me while carrying on.

     Their happiness literally depends on how many people are employed by the government. It is a sight to behold.

[DefiantSix]

LiberalLoner (10,576 posts)

I had a meltdown on the artist's forum last night. I am so sorry to DU.
I am very grateful for the kind DUers who gave me support and hope.

I think everything has been getting to me a bit.

I don’t want to do art work anymore and I thought, I don’t think that will ever come back, I think my happiness is over, what is the point of anything? You know how you can spiral into those thoughts. And feeling like a failure because none of my work the last couple of months has been anything but garbage, and I thought, well there goes my hope that I still had something to give to the world, now I am useless and worthless. The dark thoughts.

Trying to do better today and stop myself from spiraling.

I feel shell shocked too from all that is going on, from what my husband tells me as a federal worker in DC. I feel hopeless on that front, too. We are all grappling with those feelings now.

It is so hard.

I’m grateful for the DUers who showed me kindness and patience last night and I apologize for my meltdown, and I should have posted it here and not there. I went there because I wanted to tell my fellow artists why I haven’t posted in awhile and why I maybe won’t post there ever again.

Stop!

  My shadenboner has been hard enough to shatter diamonds for weeks now. Definitely going to have to see a urologist now.

With regard to the red portion...

[Old n Grumpy]

I am useless and worthless.

Now that you know what you are try changing quit the dump

[Tess Anderson]

the "fed" husband, he really does work for the deep state:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidlagraffe

the "artist" wife. a real whackjob:

https://www.fastbackgroundcheck.com/people/leora-lagraffe/id/f7172846849105837795

and it shows:



 
 

[CC27]

the "fed" husband, he really does work for the deep state:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidlagraffe

the "artist" wife. a real whackjob:

https://www.fastbackgroundcheck.com/people/leora-lagraffe/id/f7172846849105837795

and it shows:



 
 

WTF is that 

[DefiantSix]

WTF is that 

That, my friend is the "crazy eyes" we hear so much about. 

[FunkyZero]

That, my friend is the "crazy eyes" we hear so much about. 

and likely a steady intake of valium and other pills

[DefiantSix]

and likely a steady intake of valium and other pills

She obviously needs to up the dosage. By about 4x - 6x, should be about right...

[CC27]

That, my friend is the "crazy eyes" we hear so much about. 

Picture what she is like in person

[Delmar]

I don’t want to do art work anymore and I thought, I don’t think that will ever come back, I think my happiness is over, what is the point of anything?

The world deprived of Liberal Loner's artwork.  Sad.

[BannedFromDU]

The world deprived of Liberal Loner's artwork.  Sad.

     All is not lost until the seed stops aching. When that happens, we are doomed.

[Texacon]

     Their happiness literally depends on how many people are employed by the government. It is a sight to behold.

This right here is what pisses me off the most. These people were positively giddy when Joe cost thousands of good paying jobs working the keystone pipeline. They told them to learn to code.

I’ve been saying for years now, these people losing their jobs need to learn to weld!  I’ll bet I would pay them more than they’re making now and I need welders BAD!!

KC

[67 Rover]

Has she tried cowboy poetry to fill that void?

[SVPete]

This right here is what pisses me off the most. These people were positively giddy when Joe cost thousands of good paying jobs working the keystone pipeline. They told them to learn to code.

I’ve been saying for years now, these people losing their jobs need to learn to weld!  I’ll bet I would pay them more than they’re making now and I need welders BAD!!

KC

  & QFT!

I suspect that many/most bureaucrats would drop out of the training, if they even started. They would be shocked (pun intended) to learn that welding is a high-skill trade.

[Texacon]

& QFT!

I suspect that many/most bureaucrats would drop out of the training, if they even started. They would be shocked (pun intended) to learn that welding is a high-skill trade.

That is a fact.  And it pays very well unless you're talking about shop welding.  Shop welding pay is not too bad, but nothing like the guys in the field make.  The field welders have to have more skill (in most cases) than the shop welders.

KC

[RonE]

The world deprived of Liberal Loner's artwork.  Sad.

Yes! First Hunter and now this?!

[BamaMoose]

the "fed" husband, he really does work for the deep state:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidlagraffe

the "artist" wife. a real whackjob:

https://www.fastbackgroundcheck.com/people/leora-lagraffe/id/f7172846849105837795

and it shows:

<Image Snipped>

 
 

What an odd pairing.  His resume says he has a PhD in Physics, retired from the Army as a Colonel and currently holds a very senior Government position.  Based on his resume and experience he seems to be a pretty squared away and successful guy.  She, on the other hand, is a complete nut.  She stands out in the DU looney bin because of her bizzare belief that various people (including celebrities) are stalking and harassing her on-line.  For example, this post:

LiberalLoner (10,600 posts)
Thank you guys for being here for me in the past, and letting me vent again.
You all read about my abusive family of origin that sexually, physically, and emotionally abused me my whole life, until I got away from them.

My father of the supergluing a Yorkshire terrier’s lips together fame.

Well, he’s dying of cancer. I’m having a lot of feelings about that.

And then there was the bullying done to me on-line by David Crosby and Stephen Stills and their people, and my family participating in all of that, I guess at the behest of said celebrities.

So even though my family was crappy, they were still the only family I had, and the bullying war against me blew up a sort of fragile detente I had with my family. I really don’t have a family any more, and I feel anger and grief about that.

I feel anger that the celebrities chose me as a target for their cruelty, when all I ever did wrong was tell them what their music meant to me growing up.

Just feeling a lot of things.

Really glad for my husband, who is on my side in all of this. We have such a good life together, he said today…screw your abusive family, and the trolls.

I know he’s right.

It’s just a hard struggle right now knowing I won’t be able to see my (abusive) father again before he dies, and I won’t be able to attend the funeral.

Crappy family but it was the only one I had and it’s been taken away from me, forever.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/115121472

What's weirdest about her claiming David Crosby and Stephen Stills bullied her on-line is that she previously posted lovingly about them.  When Crosby died, she posted this:

LiberalLoner (10,600 posts)

Dedicated to Mr. David Crosby
Thank you for the music.

Listened to “Eight Miles High” while I painted it. Always loved that song since I was four years old.

How blessed I was to have been born into the world that had David Crosby in it.

<Image Snipped>

LiberalLoner (10,600 posts)
3. Thank you so much! ❤️ I was so afraid it wouldn't be good enough
Reply to secondwind (Reply #1)
Mon Jan 23, 2023, 07:44 AM
For him, to honor his memory.

I did the best I could though.

I hope when he looks down from heaven he will see the outpouring of love and grief from all us fans and know what his music meant to all of us.

I think of him young and healthy now, maybe sailing in the “Mayan” or spending time with his Mom and brother, or hugging his former girlfriend Christine Hinton.

I think of him creating new music in heaven, because whether on earth or in heaven, he was always going to be all about that music.

LiberalLoner (10,600 posts)
12. Thank you so so much dearest friend! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Reply to lunatica (Reply #11)
Sat Jan 28, 2023, 09:20 AM
Your kindness and encouragement warm my heart like nothing else in the whole world and I am so grateful for that and for you.

Oh I hope I have honored him properly with this one. I tried my best, through tears of grief at having lost him.

I listened to music he was a part of creating nearly all my life. I didn’t really remember a time before David Crosby, and now I have to learn to live in a world without him. We all must.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/102810917

She had similar glowing posts about Stephen Stills.  She was worse than a 16-year-old Taylor Swift fan when she posted about CSNY.  She didn't start posting about them harassing her on-line until about a year after David Crosby's death.  I don't know if her mind just snapped or she believes Crosby is bullying her from the grave, but it appears that she went from marginally nuts to bat crap crazy.

[SVPete]

Maybe she was a hippy-child-wannabe in her pre-teens (when CS&N and The Byrds were big) and did drugs that are finally catching up with her.

[fatboy]

It appears that she drank that refreshing beverage in the bottle marked Cray-Cray 

[Karin]

   What a piece of work!  She thinks she's being bullied online by a ghost? 

Probably her deep state husband is filthy rich from the USAID grift that they don't need to worry about money anymore.