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Author Topic: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town  (Read 5426 times)

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Offline bijou

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'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« on: September 12, 2008, 09:40:36 AM »
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A vandal dubbed the "Butt Bandit" is upseting people in a town by pressing his naked behind where it should not be pressed.

People in Valentine, Nebraska, say they wish he would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects. ...more...

link

Far more detail at the link that you may ever want.  :lmao:
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Offline Lord Undies

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2008, 10:06:42 AM »
Quote
McBride said no one has reported seeing the vandal in action. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year.

The man was 6 feet tall (1.8 meters tall) or slightly taller, and slender.  He had a dark complexion, and McBride said the man's dark hair was styled in a "1980s, feathered look.

Maybe it's the ghost of Freddy Mercury.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2008, 10:38:52 AM »
Oh my.

I thought they had caught him last year; at least he disappeared from the Nebraska newspapers last year, and my assumption, apparently erroneous, was that they caught him.

Valentine, Nebraska, is at the top of the state, in the middle, and is about mid-point between where dutch508 was born and raised, and where I currently live.  Valentine is the only big city in northern Nebraska, between South Sioux City at the far east, and Chadron (population circa 6500) nearly 500 miles west.

I have many fond memories of Valentine.

Rooms for patients in the hospital there are not identified by number, but by cattle-brand.

Valentine's a great place, but I've always been hesitant to say so, for fear it would inspire the primitives to visit.  But as the hot dog primitive, the "weinerdog" primitive, has already been there recently, ruining it, I guess it's not possible to do much more harm to its pristine and glorious glory.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2008, 10:43:23 AM »
Any chance that DUmmy wienerdog is 6 feet tall,  with a dark complexion?
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Offline franksolich

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2008, 10:47:18 AM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on September 12, 2008, 10:43:23 AM
Any chance that DUmmy wienerdog is 6 feet tall,  with a dark complexion?

Nah, the hot dog primitive is a femme, allegedly a nurse, and lives in southeastern Nebraska.

This is what got me when the hot dog primitive described her vacation this summer, in northwestern Nebraska and southwestern South Dakota; she had the effrontery to disturb the peaceful beauty of the Niobrara River.

And here, the hot dog primitive lives on, or near, the Missouri River. 

I think the hot dog primitive should have floated down the Missouri River, not the Niobrara River.

Or vacationed in Vermont.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2008, 11:30:15 AM »
Quote from: bijou on September 12, 2008, 09:40:36 AM
Quote
A vandal dubbed the "Butt Bandit" is upseting people in a town by pressing his naked behind where it should not be pressed.

People in Valentine, Nebraska, say they wish he would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects. ...more...

link

Far more detail at the link that you may ever want.  :lmao:
The article really cracked you up, didn't it?   :-)
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Offline bijou

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2008, 11:39:48 AM »
Quote from: lug-nut on September 12, 2008, 11:30:15 AM
Quote from: bijou on September 12, 2008, 09:40:36 AM
Quote
A vandal dubbed the "Butt Bandit" is upseting people in a town by pressing his naked behind where it should not be pressed.

People in Valentine, Nebraska, say they wish he would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects. ...more...

link

Far more detail at the link that you may ever want.  :lmao:
The article really cracked you up, didn't it?   :-)
It was a bit cheeky of me to post it, but it's too funny not to.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2008, 11:41:23 AM »
Quote from: bijou on September 12, 2008, 11:39:48 AM
Quote from: lug-nut on September 12, 2008, 11:30:15 AM
Quote from: bijou on September 12, 2008, 09:40:36 AM
Quote
A vandal dubbed the "Butt Bandit" is upseting people in a town by pressing his naked behind where it should not be pressed.

People in Valentine, Nebraska, say they wish he would find another way to make his mark.

Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows.

Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects. ...more...

link

Far more detail at the link that you may ever want.  :lmao:
The article really cracked you up, didn't it?   :-)
It was a bit cheeky of me to post it, but it's too funny not to.
Yeah, these stories are exposed only once in a blue moon.   :-)
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2008, 02:38:23 PM »
I suspect it's just another crank out on the streets at night.
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Offline jinxmchue

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2008, 03:56:04 PM »
Wonder if this guy goes to school.  All this lewd behavior might cause him to fall behind.
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Offline MrsSmith

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2008, 06:30:58 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on September 12, 2008, 10:38:52 AM
Oh my.

I thought they had caught him last year; at least he disappeared from the Nebraska newspapers last year, and my assumption, apparently erroneous, was that they caught him.

Valentine, Nebraska, is at the top of the state, in the middle, and is about mid-point between where dutch508 was born and raised, and where I currently live.  Valentine is the only big city in northern Nebraska, between South Sioux City at the far east, and Chadron (population circa 6500) nearly 500 miles west.

I have many fond memories of Valentine.

Rooms for patients in the hospital there are not identified by number, but by cattle-brand.

Valentine's a great place, but I've always been hesitant to say so, for fear it would inspire the primitives to visit.  But as the hot dog primitive, the "weinerdog" primitive, has already been there recently, ruining it, I guess it's not possible to do much more harm to its pristine and glorious glory.

It sounds like he quit when it got too cold...but decided eventually to start again.  I'm betting some resourceful Nebraskan will figure a way to trap him. 
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Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2008, 07:59:02 PM »
I derriere anyone to press their bum upon a storefront window. I was groin to do something similar, butt, I fear I would make an ass of myself.  :-)

baDABum!
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Offline ReardenSteel

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2008, 08:01:44 PM »
What a bum! We had an a-hole like that back in my home town years ago and it tookus forever to get his derriere thrown in the can.













Badonkadonk.  :p
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- Ayn Rand
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=1826

Offline ReardenSteel

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2008, 08:07:14 PM »
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'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town


Anyone else saddened by all the gluteus violence in the news these days?   :p
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"When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion - when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing - when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors - when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you - when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice - you may know that your society is doomed."

- Ayn Rand
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=1826

Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2008, 08:08:19 PM »
Quote from: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:01:44 PM
What a bum! We had an a-hole like that back in my home town years ago and it tookus forever to get his derriere thrown in the can.

Obligatory Schade bottom pic to follow.... stay tuned....  :evillaugh:













Badonkadonk.  :p
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Offline dutch508

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #15 on: September 12, 2008, 08:13:02 PM »
They have ass-ed everyone in Valentine, butt no one can ID him...

Looks like it's time for plan Number TWO!


 :tongue:
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Offline ReardenSteel

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #16 on: September 12, 2008, 08:13:55 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:08:19 PM
Quote from: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:01:44 PM
What a bum! We had an a-hole like that back in my home town years ago and it tookus forever to get his derriere thrown in the can.

Obligatory Schade bottom pic to follow.... stay tuned....  :evillaugh:


Grabbing a seat to see that posterior.
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"When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion - when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing - when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors - when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you - when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice - you may know that your society is doomed."

- Ayn Rand
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=1826

Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #17 on: September 12, 2008, 08:15:31 PM »
I don't know, something stinks.
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Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #18 on: September 12, 2008, 08:16:02 PM »
Quote from: dutch508 on September 12, 2008, 08:13:02 PM
They have ass-ed everyone in Valentine, butt no one can ID him...

Looks like it's time for plan Number TWO!


 :tongue:

Aint you from Nebrasska?  :lmao:
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Offline ReardenSteel

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #19 on: September 12, 2008, 08:18:59 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:15:31 PM
I don't know, something stinks.

I opened a heine, maybe it was skunked??? Oh well, back to Bud!  :p
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"When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion - when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing - when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors - when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you - when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice - you may know that your society is doomed."

- Ayn Rand
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=1826

Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #20 on: September 12, 2008, 08:20:34 PM »
Quote from: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:18:59 PM
Quote from: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:15:31 PM
I don't know, something stinks.

I opened a heine, maybe it was skunked??? Oh well, back to Bud!  :p

I am pooped out, I have no more puns.   :-)
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Offline dutch508

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #21 on: September 12, 2008, 08:21:54 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:20:34 PM
Quote from: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:18:59 PM
Quote from: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:15:31 PM
I don't know, something stinks.

I opened a heine, maybe it was skunked??? Oh well, back to Bud!  :p

I am pooped out, I have no more puns.   :-)

Don't just sit there on your ass!
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Offline ReardenSteel

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #22 on: September 12, 2008, 08:22:46 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:20:34 PM
Quote from: ReardenSteel on September 12, 2008, 08:18:59 PM
Quote from: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:15:31 PM
I don't know, something stinks.

I opened a heine, maybe it was skunked??? Oh well, back to Bud!  :p

I am pooped out, I have no more puns.   :-)

It's not like you to be bringing up the rear end of a pun thread? I hope your getting enough sleep and not falling behind.
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"When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion - when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing - when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors - when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you - when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice - you may know that your society is doomed."

- Ayn Rand
http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=1826

Offline Schadenfreude

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #23 on: September 12, 2008, 08:27:55 PM »
No more wise cracks! I shit you not.
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Offline dutch508

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Re: 'Butt Bandit' terrorises Nebraska town
« Reply #24 on: September 12, 2008, 08:29:35 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on September 12, 2008, 08:27:55 PM
No more wise cracks! I shit you not.

Oh...whacha gonna do? Spank me!?

 :naughty:
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