Tanning EVERY Day

[thundley4]

That's what I was wondering.   How is on sis 3 1/2 months older?

[LC EFA]

She calls that a tan ? *snort* She's still in the lily white category IMO.

Living in AZ, I don't even go outside without SPF 75 on me.  My tan comes from a computer monitor.

BEG, I want pics of your tan lines, or lack thereof.

I make sure to wear long sleeve clothing and sun screen on exposed skin anytime I'm outdoors for a day. Even in the cooler "winter" months you can still feel the burning starting immediately upon stepping outside.

Example , today's forecast includes :

Cloudy at times with a shower or two, mainly during the morning. Light to
moderate SE to E winds.
MAX    28
UV Alert - 8:40 am to 3:50 pm, UV Index predicted to reach 12 [Extreme]

Note this is a low UV index compared to full summer.

[debk]

Very short version....

The usual way....Daddy was a piece of shit.

He was married to my mother and having an affair with my sister's. Both women were pregnant at the same time.
She was born September 9, and I was born Dec 22.

She has known about me since she was about 10. She has a 1/2 brother 2.5 years younger.

I didn't know about her, until she found me on the internet in April, 2007. Her mother had clipped Daddy Dearest's obit out of the paper and gave it too her, when he died in 2001. Her fiance convinced her to try and find my brother and I since the obit gave our names and where we lived. My name is less common and I sell real estate, so I popped up at the top of the list.

She sent me and email....and it went from there. She grew up in N Ohio and I grew up in Il and Ia.

Our brother is 15 yrs younger.....yep, another mother.   DD was having an affair with his mother for 5 yrs before my mother was killed in a car accident 12/26/65....and he married her the following August. Little brother was born 13 months later ....she had 4 kids all older than me ...3-11 yrs older.

My sister wanted DNA tests done so that there would be no questions. I didn't, because she looks a lot like my dad, except she's very small (5' nothing)....but we did. We're all siblings.

What's really weird is how much our mannerisms are alike. We both talk with our hands and our speech cadence is the same though our voices are different. Neither one of us can tell our left from our right. She has a dog and I have a cat....named Bailey. We're both control freaks.....and hyper - though she's worse than me..

What's really sad is that not only did my mother know about her.....so did my stepmother. And neither I nor my brother were ever told. She contacted DD when we were 18 and received a letter back from my stepmother to stay out of our lives. She had no right to make that decision for me.

Everyone who knew the details though, are now dead. My dad's sister is the only one who was still alive, and she died last December. When my brother and I went up to Ohio for the funeral....none of my cousins knew about my sister. However, one cousin's daughter knows my sister really well....

We're working our way towards being a family. All of us......and that's a good thing.

We're thinking we should write a book, although my other half said as much as there is to our lives.....it could be a long running series....

[Thor]

Especially as OLD as y'all are............

 

[Chris_]

Very short version....

The usual way....Daddy was a piece of shit.

He was married to my mother and having an affair with my sister's. Both women were pregnant at the same time.
She was born September 9, and I was born Dec 22.

She has known about me since she was about 10. She has a 1/2 brother 2.5 years younger.

I didn't know about her, until she found me on the internet in April, 2007. Her mother had clipped Daddy Dearest's obit out of the paper and gave it too her, when he died in 2001. Her fiance convinced her to try and find my brother and I since the obit gave our names and where we lived. My name is less common and I sell real estate, so I popped up at the top of the list.

She sent me and email....and it went from there. She grew up in N Ohio and I grew up in Il and Ia.

Our brother is 15 yrs younger.....yep, another mother.  ::) DD was having an affair with his mother for 5 yrs before my mother was killed in a car accident 12/26/65....and he married her the following August. Little brother was born 13 months later ....she had 4 kids all older than me ...3-11 yrs older.

My sister wanted DNA tests done so that there would be no questions. I didn't, because she looks a lot like my dad, except she's very small (5' nothing)....but we did. We're all siblings.

What's really weird is how much our mannerisms are alike. We both talk with our hands and our speech cadence is the same though our voices are different. Neither one of us can tell our left from our right. She has a dog and I have a cat....named Bailey. We're both control freaks.....and hyper - though she's worse than me.. :hyper:

What's really sad is that not only did my mother know about her.....so did my stepmother. And neither I nor my brother were ever told. She contacted DD when we were 18 and received a letter back from my stepmother to stay out of our lives. She had no right to make that decision for me.

Everyone who knew the details though, are now dead. My dad's sister is the only one who was still alive, and she died last December. When my brother and I went up to Ohio for the funeral....none of my cousins knew about my sister. However, one cousin's daughter knows my sister really well....

We're working our way towards being a family. All of us......and that's a good thing.

We're thinking we should write a book, although my other half said as much as there is to our lives.....it could be a long running series.... :lmao:

TMI, deb, TMI.

FWIIW, blood is essentially meaningless. It is just an opportunity for drama.

[Chris_]

For some reason, I tan really well, even though I'm a redhead thanks to my hair dresser....but I was a strawberry blonde as a kid....though I do have blue/green eyes.

My mother had dark hair and green eyes, and my dad was blond with blue eyes and both tanned really well.

OK, with a description like that, we deserve pics!

This is from my niece's wedding 10 days ago....

my sister who is 3.5 months older than me, her daughter, her other daughter, me....I'm the tallest at 5'4" on a really tall day (though we all had 3-3.5 inch high heels on)

 

Cute!

[mamacags]

Very short version....

The usual way....Daddy was a piece of shit.

He was married to my mother and having an affair with my sister's. Both women were pregnant at the same time.
She was born September 9, and I was born Dec 22.

She has known about me since she was about 10. She has a 1/2 brother 2.5 years younger.

I didn't know about her, until she found me on the internet in April, 2007. Her mother had clipped Daddy Dearest's obit out of the paper and gave it too her, when he died in 2001. Her fiance convinced her to try and find my brother and I since the obit gave our names and where we lived. My name is less common and I sell real estate, so I popped up at the top of the list.

She sent me and email....and it went from there. She grew up in N Ohio and I grew up in Il and Ia.

Our brother is 15 yrs younger.....yep, another mother.   DD was having an affair with his mother for 5 yrs before my mother was killed in a car accident 12/26/65....and he married her the following August. Little brother was born 13 months later ....she had 4 kids all older than me ...3-11 yrs older.

My sister wanted DNA tests done so that there would be no questions. I didn't, because she looks a lot like my dad, except she's very small (5' nothing)....but we did. We're all siblings.

What's really weird is how much our mannerisms are alike. We both talk with our hands and our speech cadence is the same though our voices are different. Neither one of us can tell our left from our right. She has a dog and I have a cat....named Bailey. We're both control freaks.....and hyper - though she's worse than me..

What's really sad is that not only did my mother know about her.....so did my stepmother. And neither I nor my brother were ever told. She contacted DD when we were 18 and received a letter back from my stepmother to stay out of our lives. She had no right to make that decision for me.

Everyone who knew the details though, are now dead. My dad's sister is the only one who was still alive, and she died last December. When my brother and I went up to Ohio for the funeral....none of my cousins knew about my sister. However, one cousin's daughter knows my sister really well....

We're working our way towards being a family. All of us......and that's a good thing.

We're thinking we should write a book, although my other half said as much as there is to our lives.....it could be a long running series....

I love your story!  I am adopted and somedays wonder if I have brothers or sisters out there somewhere.

[debk]

Very short version....

The usual way....Daddy was a piece of shit.

He was married to my mother and having an affair with my sister's. Both women were pregnant at the same time.
She was born September 9, and I was born Dec 22.

She has known about me since she was about 10. She has a 1/2 brother 2.5 years younger.

I didn't know about her, until she found me on the internet in April, 2007. Her mother had clipped Daddy Dearest's obit out of the paper and gave it too her, when he died in 2001. Her fiance convinced her to try and find my brother and I since the obit gave our names and where we lived. My name is less common and I sell real estate, so I popped up at the top of the list.

She sent me and email....and it went from there. She grew up in N Ohio and I grew up in Il and Ia.

Our brother is 15 yrs younger.....yep, another mother.   DD was having an affair with his mother for 5 yrs before my mother was killed in a car accident 12/26/65....and he married her the following August. Little brother was born 13 months later ....she had 4 kids all older than me ...3-11 yrs older.

My sister wanted DNA tests done so that there would be no questions. I didn't, because she looks a lot like my dad, except she's very small (5' nothing)....but we did. We're all siblings.

What's really weird is how much our mannerisms are alike. We both talk with our hands and our speech cadence is the same though our voices are different. Neither one of us can tell our left from our right. She has a dog and I have a cat....named Bailey. We're both control freaks.....and hyper - though she's worse than me..

What's really sad is that not only did my mother know about her.....so did my stepmother. And neither I nor my brother were ever told. She contacted DD when we were 18 and received a letter back from my stepmother to stay out of our lives. She had no right to make that decision for me.

Everyone who knew the details though, are now dead. My dad's sister is the only one who was still alive, and she died last December. When my brother and I went up to Ohio for the funeral....none of my cousins knew about my sister. However, one cousin's daughter knows my sister really well....

We're working our way towards being a family. All of us......and that's a good thing.

We're thinking we should write a book, although my other half said as much as there is to our lives.....it could be a long running series....

I love your story!  I am adopted and somedays wonder if I have brothers or sisters out there somewhere.

Thanks.....we think it's pretty neat that our sister found us....rather that she tried again to connect. 

Though I have to admit....we're wondering if we don't have more siblings out there.

For a variety of reasons, I always wondered if I was adopted. Another benefit to all of this, was that I know for sure that I wasn't. I was convinced that the DNA test was going to come back that I wasn't who I thought I was.

I've already had enough therapy because of my father.....I didn't want to go through it again.

[JohnnyReb]

Thanks for the memories.

At age 17 I had a red headed girlfriend. She was 19, dark red hair, sparkling green eyes, snow white skin and built like the proverbial brick outhouse. She wanted to move things along to fast for me so....... I do kind of melt when I see a similar redhead or think of her.

[BEG]

Wow Deb, what a story.  My cousin has a full brother out there that she doesn't know exists (my aunt gave him up for adoption).  The man who she thought her whole life was her father (my aunt and my cousin's dad have been divorced since the mid 70's) turned out not to be her real father.  Her Dad (the man she thinks was her dad) died a couple of years ago thinking she was his daughter.  She doesn't know he wasn't her real Dad either.  She has two brothers who don't know either, they would be her half brothers which seems so weird to me.  My whole life I just thought of them as her full brothers. 

My Mom told me about it a few years ago, then immediately regretted it.  My aunt had done something really $hitty to my Mom and my Mom was mad at her and told me about it.  There is no way I will ever tell my cousin.  She thought the world of her Dad and it would absolutely kill her if she ever found out.  On the other hand, I feel guilty for knowing that she has a full blood brother out there that she doesn't know about.  I'm afraid he will look for his mom (my aunt) one day and all hell will break loose.  I will never admit to her that I knew because I'm afraid if she ever finds out she will be mad at me for not telling her (we are really close, like sisters). 

Damn family secrets.   

[Miss Mia]

Wow Deb, what a story.

My grandmother gave up a daughter for adoption back before she married my grandpa, so early 1940s. (My grandparents married Dec. 7, 1945).

The daughter, found my grandma back in the late 80s. She was welcomed into the family, though I know my mom and her brothers and sisters were a little shocked they had an older half-sister.

The sad thing is that because of her actions, towards the end of my grandmother's life she was no longer welcomed around.  She wasn't even allowed to go to the funeral, I think there would have been an all out Jerry Springer type of family fight if she had showed up. 

[debk]

It's amazing the secrets within families.

BEG...when I went up to OH last December for my aunt's funeral (she was my dad's younger and only sibling). My cousins' cousin on their dad's side had just recently found out that her parents were not really her parents. She was 60 when she found out.

My aunt's husband was one of 3 brothers...I remembered them and the cousin on the other side from when I was a child because we were both only children. Anyhow, her real dad was the other brother and some woman he met while in the service in WWII from New Orleans. He came back to OH with the baby, and the family had a meeting....that included my aunt and uncle. It was decided that since he was the youngest brother and not married, and my aunt and uncle had 1 child and another on the way, the other brother and his wife who could not have children would adopt the baby. Nobody ever told her. Her birth father told her after her "parents" were both dead.

When she told me last Dec, she had known for a bit over a year.....and was still so very angry. We talked for quite a while as she wanted to know why I wasn't angry.

I was for a while, but I was so grateful for finding a sister, I didn't stay that way. Besides, it's a waste of time to stay angry at a dead person. Had already done that, and had the scars.....and the shrink's bill. (health insurance really should pay for mental health care!)

Mia....I understand about the Jerry Springer thing. Believe me!

Told my brother we could get on Jerry Springer and he said no, we had too many teeth, too much education, and besides...we needed to try for Oprah cause she gives away cars.....

Our family picture is in the dictionary next to extreme dysfunctional.....and that was before we found out about our sister.

[BEG]

It's amazing the secrets within families.

BEG...when I went up to OH last December for my aunt's funeral (she was my dad's younger and only sibling). My cousins' cousin on their dad's side had just recently found out that her parents were not really her parents. She was 60 when she found out.

My aunt's husband was one of 3 brothers...I remembered them and the cousin on the other side from when I was a child because we were both only children. Anyhow, her real dad was the other brother and some woman he met while in the service in WWII from New Orleans. He came back to OH with the baby, and the family had a meeting....that included my aunt and uncle. It was decided that since he was the youngest brother and not married, and my aunt and uncle had 1 child and another on the way, the other brother and his wife who could not have children would adopt the baby. Nobody ever told her. Her birth father told her after her "parents" were both dead.

When she told me last Dec, she had known for a bit over a year.....and was still so very angry. We talked for quite a while as she wanted to know why I wasn't angry.

I was for a while, but I was so grateful for finding a sister, I didn't stay that way. Besides, it's a waste of time to stay angry at a dead person. Had already done that, and had the scars.....and the shrink's bill. (health insurance really should pay for mental health care!)

Mia....I understand about the Jerry Springer thing. Believe me!

Told my brother we could get on Jerry Springer and he said no, we had too many teeth, too much education, and besides...we needed to try for Oprah cause she gives away cars.....

Our family picture is in the dictionary next to extreme dysfunctional.....and that was before we found out about our sister.

I bet I could out do you on dysfunctional.....

My aunt (the Mother of the cousin I was telling you about) has been a tad crazy her whole life.  She has gotten worse over the past 10 years or so.  Well she got mad at my Mom because at my brothers wedding (the brother that recently died) she didn't get to sit at the reception where she thought she should have.  Now granted, mt brother's wife has an aunt (Aunt Nancy) who took charge and sat all of my aunts, uncle and cousins on the PORCH of this mansion.  THere was one huge dinning are then a smaller one where she sat my brothers wife's own mom and dad (they are both deaf and my brother's wife is ashamed of them...not because they are deaf but because (according to her) they mistreated her when she was growing up).  Her "Aunt Nancy" sat in the main dining area though.  ANyway, my Mom had no control with regard to the reception but my aunt was PISSED and didn't really talk to my Mom (except for a couple of times) since the wedding 7 years ago.  In fact, I had to call her when my brother died because my Mom couldn't handle the stress because my aunt just may be a bitch or something and my Mom seriously couldn't take it.  She wasn't a bitch and then I got them both talking.  She was really nice at the funeral....but I digress....

Two years ago this very aunt sent my son a large envelope with an old card my Mom had sent her (from the late 60's early 70's) and wrote on the back of it, "Your grandma isn't what you think she is.  She is not the good person everyone thinks".  Those weren't the exact words but that is basically what she said.  Then she enclosed an article from when my Mom was 14 or 15.  My Mom is from a really small town in Iowa where if you sneeze you get your name in the paper.  My mom had apparently taken my grandma's car for a "joy ride" and had a wreck.  The way the article was written, it made it seem like my Mom had killed someone.  Well when you read the whole article you realize that they are talking about three wrecks from three different people and it was this other man who killed someone in his wreck.  But the picture and the caption under it made it appear that it was my MOM that had killed someone. 

My son opened up the envelope in his room and he came out all freaked out.  His eyes were as big as saucers.  He asked if grandma had killed someone.  I was like, "WHAT?".  He handed me the article and I just glanced at it and I called my Mom.  I thought it said she had killed someone too.  My Mom had never told me, my brothers or any of our kids about the wreck because she didn't want to be a bad example.  She was so PISSED and had every right to be.

The way my aunt did that was so weird.  It was out of the blue.  My Mom and her hadn't been in contact for months and months.  It was also cryptic because she didn't even put her return address on the outside of the envelope but signed the note she wrote on the back of the card.  It was just so damn bizarre.  Oh the stories I could tell you.   

[debk]

Something tells me we could play "Can you top this?" for hours on end!

And sadly, we would both win. <<<hugs>>>

We were on our way home from my grandparents in OH back to W Des Moines, the day after Christmas, when going around Gary IN on the TriState Tollway, a man heading east, came across the median, hit us head on. My mother was killed, my dad was in one hospital's ICU, I was in another. I was like Humpty Dumpty, but only hurt from the waist up, and the doctors decided 5 days later to try to put me back together. My dad on the other hand, had what is now called a TBI, was in a coma for several weeks, and became a violent alcoholic. He was never the same. Guess I wasn't either.

My dad was my stepmother's 3rd husband....but he didn't know it, until after he married her. She spent 26 years waiting for him to die in order to collect his life insurance money. She dropped over dead walking the dog 9 years before he died.

Her family was pretty dysfunctional, and my dad and I were....together, the two of them were horrendous.

I finally got therapy 35 years later. No one thought to get me any when I was 13. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. If I hadn't, I probably would have ended up in a padded room in really ugly white jackets.

My brother and I were talking last night about the way we grew up and the way our sister did(shunned within her family for being illegitimate). I went off to college right before he turned 4 so we were both basically only children. He and I decided the 3 of us are highly functional screwed up individuals....

I have come to the conclusion.....that anyone who "thinks they are normal" are really in denial. I don't think there is a "normal". It all comes down to one's ability to either deny to themselves and others that there are any problems ( my ex's family is a perfect example)and convince themselves they are perfectly normal .....or to accept that you and your family have "issues" ( ) and try your best to accept/admit to those issues, overcome them, and try not to continue the same patterns - to break the cycle of destruction - whatever they may be.
 

[Miss Mia]

I gotta say, debk and BEG, you both make my alcoholic nudist mother seem like an angel. 

[Chris_]

OK, kids.

I posted this up on another thread.

My mom had to raise 7 kids on her own. And I was the worst of the lot.  SEVEN! 

She HATED being on Welfare -- and went to night school and got her AA in Accounting, got a job as an accountant (and taught me pegboard accounting). And got the HELL off of the dole.

She died, in her late sixties, from sheer life exhaustion. 

The finest woman to ever draw breath, taken from a world that needed her morality so badly.

She taught me how hard work leads to success.  And I have tried to make her proud -- even beyond this mortal coil.

And I must say that, for the most part, my brothers and sisters have done pretty well for ourselves.  Because of Mom's very strong will and values.

I miss her so.