primitives losing friends

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3943106

Oh my.

yellowdogintexas  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 02:55 PM
Original message

add me to the list of folks who are losing friends over this election..
   
Now this was not a close friend. We went to school together and knew each other well enough.

Got reacquainted over the last HS reunion

sending some great jokes back and forth and gossip.

Then she started in with the tacky political humor, which I just deleted

Then she sent me some stuff that was more than tacky humor. I asked her to just not send me that type of stuff that I didn't like it.

She replied back, said she would not...no problem..

but she sent another one I deleted it

Then she sent one that was just the last straw about Obama saying the Iraq war was a mistake and it was a video supposedly made by a soldier.

It just set me off.

So I responded with my own opinions on the war and how it is most definitely not unpatriotic to say it was a mistake.

And reminded her that I had asked her not to send me this stuff and that if she did I would return some angry replies.

So today she told me she would not send another email to me ever again.

So I don't like conflict and argument and it wasn't pleasant to know I had not accomplished what I wanted. But I think I will get over it.

She said I was the only person she knew who would not agree with the sentiment. Guess she needs to get out more.

this is not as if I lost my closest friend or anything. Of my 3 closest female friends, two are great Democrats. The other one is a Republican of the Rockfeller variety who unfortunately hasn't figured out what her party has done. We love her, she was in our wedding and we just don't talk about it.

It starts off with the predictable-but-boring racism excuse:

sweets  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 02:59 PM
Response to Original message

1. i've lost 2 friends.
   
one i had for 2 years -- the other one was my friend for almost 19 years. and just the other day my hairdresser told me that she won't vote for obama because he's black.

friday i got into an argument with a man in a restaurant over politics.

secondwind  Donating Member  (126 posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:02 PM
Response to Reply #1

5. amazing, isn't it? they would rather vote for a white woman who went to five colleges in 7 years, with s*** for brains, over a Harvard-educated black man who majored in International Relations (BTW - a good credential to have if you are running for Pres), and who has been vetted for two years, etc.

sweets  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:07 PM
Response to Reply #5

8. it doesn't matter to them.
   
i'm in arizona. not too many blacks here. i wonder if these people have ever known a black person or been friends with one. i doubt they have. i'm originally from new york city. of course, there are racists there, but not to the extent that i'm finding here.

Bobbieo  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:15 PM
Response to Reply #8

12. Yes, AZ is very bad for racism. My neighbor across the street is a black lady and she is a sweetheart.

sweets  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:19 PM
Response to Reply #12

15. we were friends with our black neighbors until their marriage broke up. they sold the house and we kinda lost track of each other. the husband had his master's and the wife a BA. nicest people you'd ever want to meet. BTW. it was a very white neighborhood.

SheilaT  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 04:08 PM
Response to Reply #1

23. I hope you will have a new hairdresser by the time you need the next hair cut.

I dropped a right-wing hairdresser I'd had for about ten years over the Iraq War, even before the invasion.

secondwind  Donating Member  (126 posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:00 PM
Response to Original message

2. We're dealing with this same issue here in Massachusetts, there isn't an easy way to deal with this. My best friend is a Pub..........

And then Doug's ex-wife, the stupidest person on the whole entire internet:

sfexpat2000  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:01 PM
Response to Original message

3. This person doesn't respect your boundaries. Get a new friend.

yellerpup  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:01 PM
Response to Original message

4. You'll be fine.
   
You may be surprised at how much you DON'T miss her.  BTW, you are right. She does need to get out more.

APPLE_PIE  (8 posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:04 PM
Response to Original message

6. The solution is simple.   
   
There are 6 1/2 billion people on this world. You can get along without one or two of them.

Bobbieo  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:10 PM
Response to Reply #6

9. It all depends on the circumstances if you can get along without them or no!!!
   
I've cut off two close friends because of this - I won't be affected in any way as I am retired. Thank God this did not happen when I was working!!!

The pollen primitive, who doesn't like small town folk:

RGBolen  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:11 PM
Response to Original message

10. If you lose friends over an election, they weren't friends, they are just pieces of shit.

glaeken777  (305 posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:17 PM
Response to Original message

13. i wish it was just friends
   
In my case, my father and I are barely holding on to a relationship. He feels the values of his father, father before him etc etc ad infinitum, are under attack by liberals. We had a 2-hour discussion (much of it tear-filled for me) in which I tried to explain how and why my worldview has changed in a decade's time. I appealed to him as a former hippie who campaigned his heart out first for RFK, then Humphrey. No dice. I've lost my dad and he feels like I've betrayed him.

SheilaT  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 04:10 PM
Response to Reply #13

25. He campaigned for RFK and Humphrey?
   
What the hell happened to HIS values. You might want to see if he can explain that.

glaeken777  (305 posts) Sun Sep-07-08 04:14 PM
Response to Reply #25

26. i think we both know the answer to that

Frustratedlady  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:18 PM
Response to Original message

14. You aren't alone, trust me. Too many select a president like they do an American Idol.
   
Little by little, people are beginning to see what a mistake this whole Bush Era has been, but it took a couple jabs to their pocketbook to wake them up.

They will get caught up in the wave, but maybe not in time for the election.

Sarah's tiara has enough time to slip, though, so maybe they'll see she's an airhead and nothing more.

Turbineguy  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:24 PM
Response to Original message

16. Losing a friend is a victory for Rush Limbaugh and his ilk.

He's turned pitting Americans against one another into a $50 million per year paycheck for himself. Your lost friend pays into it.

CrispyQGirl  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:27 PM
Response to Original message

17. Many will tell you that you shouldn't let politics get between you & a friend or family member. But here's the thing. The current republican & democratic views are so contradictory that you are dealing with more than a simple difference of opinion on politics - they are different world views. Competitive or cooperative? "You're On Your Own" (YOYO) or "We're In This Together" (WITT)? Value the individual at the cost of the community or support the community, knowing that it is only within a strong community that individuals can excel?

I have many republican acquaintances, but no close republican friends. My mother was a republican & it strained our relationship almost to the breaking point. Like your friend, she would not cease & desist with the mean-spirited, hateful emails, even after many requests from me to do so. She passed away last year & although I do miss her, I do not miss the conflict & confrontation that I'm sure this election would have brought on.

donco6  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:50 PM
Response to Original message

20. I look at it this way . . .
   
You were really losing this friend already - just very slowly. No confrontations, no disagreements, everything all neat and tidy and kept very very separate. All this did was force you to confront the fact that you don't really have much in common anymore, and it's probably time to make the separation permanent. No big loss.

yellowdogintexas  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 05:54 PM
Response to Reply #20

29. that and the fact I was on to her from her bio at our last reunion. She boldly stated she was a Conservative. Well I am too about some things, like the environment and the national debt.

But she either didn't remember anything about me or wasn't paying attention to what I replied to and what I didn't

michele77  (855 posts) Sun Sep-07-08 04:03 PM
Response to Original message

22. It took one swift, smartly worded email to get through to my sisters-in-law. No more political BS emails from them.

temperancedissent  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 04:08 PM
Response to Original message

24. Shit I been losing friends for 8 years now
   
ha ha... most of them not good friends obviously as I don't give up on true friends so easily. The one I am saddest about is a girl friend of over 20 years. We have seen each other through some really hard struggles, and even though we still talk on the phone from time to time I can detect that, 'yea well whatever' disconnect in her voice. Perhaps with time we can get close again.

On the up-side of course (and there is always an up-side to everything) is that the 'deleting' of some friends has made that that much more room for newer, greater, and like-minded people. So I look at it as another one of those win-win situations.

RobinA  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 06:00 PM
Response to Original message

30. Luckily
   
I have not lost my Bushnik friend. Our last exchange on the subject was, "Well, they haven't found any weapons of mass destruction." "They haven't been looking very long, they will find them." The discussion before that was, "Watch, they will find zero weapons of mass destruction, the whole thing is a hoax to get us into war." "Oh, they'll find them, didn't you listen to Colin Powell?" She has left the subject strictly alone and I have refrained from "I told you so."

I am quite sure I will get some glow about the lovely and down to earth Everymom Ms. Palin, to which I will respond that people who lie and make fun of other people are not my favorite people, and we should have another election cycle silence on the matter.

Oh man.

There's some really great moles at this bonfire, roping in the primitives.

It's great.

[Carl]

Anyone who would put politics above a friendship proves themselves to be insecure and unbalanced.

Truth be known is that these folks really have no friends nor any concept of what friendship is.
They belong to the "as long as you agree with me and do everything my way we will be friends" crowd.

They pen these little stories to absolve themselves of the guilt and loneliness their character inevitably delivers to them.

[miskie]

Anyone who would put politics above a friendship proves themselves to be insecure and unbalanced.

Truth be known is that these folks really have no friends nor any concept of what friendship is.
They belong to the "as long as you agree with me and do everything my way we will be friends" crowd.

They pen these little stories to absolve themselves of the guilt and loneliness their character inevitably delivers to them.

I have several Democrat friends. If they want to vote for the lesser candidate, that is their right 

[GOBUCKS]

This sounds exactly, precisely, identical to posts at the DUmp in 2004, except back then they were supporting the traitor J. Eff'n (D-Hanoi), and now it's the marxist Indonesian madrassa student. I wonder if the friends they are losing now are the same ones they lost in 2004, then crawled back to after the election?

[jukin]

I don't really think the primatives have friends but just expedient political reinforcers.  I still hang out with guys that were in my cub scout troop.  Yep I'm one of those guys.

[MrsSmith]

CrispyQGirl  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Sun Sep-07-08 03:27 PM
Response to Original message

17. Many will tell you that you shouldn't let politics get between you & a friend or family member. But here's the thing. The current republican & democratic views are so contradictory that you are dealing with more than a simple difference of opinion on politics - they are different world views. Competitive or cooperative? "You're On Your Own" (YOYO) or "We're In This Together" (WITT)? Value the individual at the cost of the community or support the community, knowing that it is only within a strong community that individuals can excel?

I have many republican acquaintances, but no close republican friends. My mother was a republican & it strained our relationship almost to the breaking point. Like your friend, she would not cease & desist with the mean-spirited, hateful emails, even after many requests from me to do so. She passed away last year & although I do miss her, I do not miss the conflict & confrontation that I'm sure this election would have brought on.

"You're On Your Own" (YOYO) or "We're In This Together" (WITT) - Hmmm, I wonder what Crispy thinks about "being in this together" when she considers the WoT?  I'm sure she's right in there with us, right?  There is no way she'd value the individual over the country, knowing that it is only in a strong, freedom-loving country that the individual can excel? 

Or not.   

[DumbAss Tanker]

Their view of "Friendship" goes a long way to explaining their runaway groupthink problem.

[Airwolf]

Anyone who would put politics above a friendship proves themselves to be insecure and unbalanced.

Truth be known is that these folks really have no friends nor any concept of what friendship is.
They belong to the "as long as you agree with me and do everything my way we will be friends" crowd.

They pen these little stories to absolve themselves of the guilt and loneliness their character inevitably delivers to them.

How very true.

[Chris_]

Competitive or cooperative? "You're On Your Own" (YOYO) or "We're In This Together" (WITT)? Value the individual at the cost of the community or support the community

From each according to their abilities, to each according to their needs.

And DUmmies have few abilities and great needs.

[Texacon]

With all the friends and family members being lost in that thread you must assume there is no one voting for The BarackStar!  Wonder if any of them are noticing that?

KC

[Chris_]

I don't really think the primatives have friends but just expedient political reinforcers.  I still hang out with guys that were in my cub scout troop.  Yep I'm one of those guys.

I used to have friendships that went that far back. And I also lost most of them eight years ago, but that was because I moved out of state that year, not over stupid politics.

[jtyangel]

amazing, isn't it? they would rather vote for a white woman who went to five colleges in 7 years, with s*** for brains, over a Harvard-educated black man who majored in International Relations (BTW - a good credential to have if you are running for Pres), and who has been vetted for two years, etc

OH FFS, what an elitist pos! Some people go to different colleges because life gets in the way or they are paying for it THEMSELVES and have to opt for cheaper options. I can think of several people who could have succeeded in Ivy League, but did not have the option due to life events at that time. So, yes, I'd opt for the woman who has went to several colleges because you know what, not only does she represent *MY* values, but she, and how she obtained her education, is something I relate to and many others do as well. If I could count the number of returning adults in the college I go to and to hear it told by the fools at DU, they are all idiots.  I guess that includes my dad too, who is a professor himself along with working with an engineering speciality in a gov. agency. 

As for the friendship thing, most of the people who are old friends that sit on my myspace list are indeed liberals and I consider their ideas foolish, but you know what, I just ignore when they put things like that up on bulletin and they ignore mine as well. The friendship is far more important then getting my pound of flesh over political emails I disagree with.

[jukin]

I don't really think the primatives have friends but just expedient political reinforcers.  I still hang out with guys that were in my cub scout troop.  Yep I'm one of those guys.

I used to have friendships that went that far back. And I also lost most of them eight years ago, but that was because I moved out of state that year, not over stupid politics.

I know I'm lucky.  I still live in my home town. A few of the old crowd still does too.  I have about ten Boy Scout friends around but that was a bigger crowd than the cubs and weebalos (sic? never spelled that one before).

[jtyangel]

I don't really think the primatives have friends but just expedient political reinforcers.  I still hang out with guys that were in my cub scout troop.  Yep I'm one of those guys.

I used to have friendships that went that far back. And I also lost most of them eight years ago, but that was because I moved out of state that year, not over stupid politics.

I know I'm lucky.  I still live in my home town. A few of the old crowd still does too.  I have about ten Boy Scout friends around.

I moved and lost friends like blitz too..it was only recently I started gathering them all up again and dumped them on a myspace page. It's why I'm adament about having one since it allows me to stay in touch with them and their lives in a more personal way after years of being apart. It is harder and the bond is different, but one can hold onto friends from years earlier. One of those on there was my best friend from 1 st to 6th grade before I moved several hundred miles away. We still have so much in common we have both wondered the hell raisin' we would have done as teens and young adults had I stayed in that area. 

W

[Chris_]

I don't really think the primatives have friends but just expedient political reinforcers.  I still hang out with guys that were in my cub scout troop.  Yep I'm one of those guys.

I used to have friendships that went that far back. And I also lost most of them eight years ago, but that was because I moved out of state that year, not over stupid politics.

I know I'm lucky.  I still live in my home town. A few of the old crowd still does too.  I have about ten Boy Scout friends around but that was a bigger crowd than the cubs and weebalos (sic? never spelled that one before).

Webelos?(I think that's right)
Out of all the friends I made in the Scouts, I don't even know where any of them even are. The last time we spoke was in June of 2000.

I moved and lost friends like blitz too..it was only recently I started gathering them all up again and dumped them on a myspace page. It's why I'm adament about having one since it allows me to stay in touch with them and their lives in a more personal way after years of being apart. It is harder and the bond is different, but one can hold onto friends from years earlier. One of those on there was my best friend from 1 st to 6th grade before I moved several hundred miles away. We still have so much in common we have both wondered the hell raisin' we would have done as teens and young adults had I stayed in that area. 

 

LOL.  Coincidentally I was also in the 6th grade the first time I moved away(1993). I never wanted to move either but I had no input in the decision. I always wonder what would have become if we had stayed where we were.

[Chris]

A friend I haven't seen in ten years found my MySpace page today (thanks to the other friend we have in common). 

[jtyangel]

I don't really think the primatives have friends but just expedient political reinforcers.  I still hang out with guys that were in my cub scout troop.  Yep I'm one of those guys.

I used to have friendships that went that far back. And I also lost most of them eight years ago, but that was because I moved out of state that year, not over stupid politics.

I know I'm lucky.  I still live in my home town. A few of the old crowd still does too.  I have about ten Boy Scout friends around but that was a bigger crowd than the cubs and weebalos (sic? never spelled that one before).

Webelos?(I think that's right)
Out of all the friends I made in the Scouts, I don't even know where any of them even are. The last time we spoke was in June of 2000.

I moved and lost friends like blitz too..it was only recently I started gathering them all up again and dumped them on a myspace page. It's why I'm adament about having one since it allows me to stay in touch with them and their lives in a more personal way after years of being apart. It is harder and the bond is different, but one can hold onto friends from years earlier. One of those on there was my best friend from 1 st to 6th grade before I moved several hundred miles away. We still have so much in common we have both wondered the hell raisin' we would have done as teens and young adults had I stayed in that area. 

 

LOL.  Coincidentally I was also in the 6th grade the first time I moved away(1993). I never wanted to move either but I had no input in the decision. I always wonder what would have become if we had stayed where we were.

Yep, same here...the state I moved to was just a totally different culture and way of life and dynamics changed in our family for the worse. I often wonder how things would have been different.

[jtyangel]

A friend I haven't seen in ten years found my MySpace page today (thanks to the other friend we have in common). 

Isn't that awesome, Chris? I mean if it's someone you want to talk to again! LOL...actually even people I was not close to, we exchanged an email or two just to catch up. Even that was nice to do. Technology is awesome in this context.

[JohnnyReb]

This is getting good. The DUmmies are arguing with and then losing their imaginary friends.

[Chris_]

I don't really think the primatives have friends but just expedient political reinforcers.  I still hang out with guys that were in my cub scout troop.  Yep I'm one of those guys.

I used to have friendships that went that far back. And I also lost most of them eight years ago, but that was because I moved out of state that year, not over stupid politics.

I know I'm lucky.  I still live in my home town. A few of the old crowd still does too.  I have about ten Boy Scout friends around but that was a bigger crowd than the cubs and weebalos (sic? never spelled that one before).

Webelos?(I think that's right)
Out of all the friends I made in the Scouts, I don't even know where any of them even are. The last time we spoke was in June of 2000.

I moved and lost friends like blitz too..it was only recently I started gathering them all up again and dumped them on a myspace page. It's why I'm adament about having one since it allows me to stay in touch with them and their lives in a more personal way after years of being apart. It is harder and the bond is different, but one can hold onto friends from years earlier. One of those on there was my best friend from 1 st to 6th grade before I moved several hundred miles away. We still have so much in common we have both wondered the hell raisin' we would have done as teens and young adults had I stayed in that area. 

 

LOL.  Coincidentally I was also in the 6th grade the first time I moved away(1993). I never wanted to move either but I had no input in the decision. I always wonder what would have become if we had stayed where we were.

Yep, same here...the state I moved to was just a totally different culture and way of life and dynamics changed in our family for the worse. I often wonder how things would have been different.

Our family troubles worsened with our move too. "What-ifs" make for interesting fiction writing but aren't so good in real life.