Author Topic: A Snow Thing  (Read 1576 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Eupher

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24894
  • Reputation: +2828/-1828
  • U.S. Army, Retired
A Snow Thing
« on: December 23, 2022, 08:27:38 PM »
Received via email:

We received about 3 inches of snow yesterday and

8:00 am: I made snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..woman...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not used to decorate snow figures.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.

8:37 - Then they accused me of using a black face on the snowperson.
 
8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.

8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - The TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow women? I replied "Snowballs?" and am now a sexist.
 
9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 – Far-left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.

9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media.

10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman..
 
Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.
Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
Kanstul 33-T BBb tuba, built 2011
Fender Precision Bass Guitar, built ?
Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline ABC-2

  • Drive By Poster
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1563
  • Reputation: +492/-32
  • Married female & proud VRWC member :)
Re: A Snow Thing
« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2022, 10:51:08 AM »
"There ain't no moral to this story.  It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes."

 Enjoyed every word of it!

~ ABC :hi5:
Please pray for our country in these turbulent times ...
It really is the best in the world & I can't stand the thought of losing it.

Freedom, Truth, and the USA!!! 
~ American By Choice (aka ABC-2)

Offline RuralNc

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1279
  • Reputation: +479/-4
Re: A Snow Thing
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2022, 06:57:36 AM »
I can actually envision seeing this on the local news.  :popcorn:

Offline Texacon

  • Super
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12330
  • Reputation: +1266/-55
  • All The Way!
Re: A Snow Thing
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2022, 07:53:23 AM »
 :lmao:


KC
  Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day.  Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

*Stolen

Offline DefiantSix

  • Captain, IKV Defiant
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17565
  • Reputation: +1753/-189
  • "Set Condition One throughout the ship."
Re: A Snow Thing
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2022, 10:21:00 AM »
I can actually envision seeing this on the local news.  :popcorn:

Being described in exactly those terms.  :thatsright:
"Stand your ground. Don't fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here."
-- Capt. John Parker

"I'm not looking for forgiveness, and I'm way past asking permission"
-- Capt. Steve Rogers

"In this present crisis, government in not the solution to our problem, government IS the problem."
-- Ronaldus Magnus