CNN Employees Now Required To Wear Chastity Belts (The Bee)

[SVPete]

CNN Employees Now Required To Wear Chastity Belts

https://babylonbee.com/news/cnn-employees-now-required-to-wear-chastity-belts

NEW YORK—Following a slew of sexual misconduct allegations concerning staff,
CNN has been forced to take extreme action to repair its image. The interim president has announced that henceforth, all CNN employees must wear chastity belts at all times.

"I know everyone wants to sleep with me, Jim Acosta," said Jim Acosta. "But this seems like overkill."

"I have never done anything wrong, ever," said Jake Tapper. "I'm not sure why this is necessary."

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” said Brian Stelter sporting his new metal chastity belt. “We take sexual misconduct seriously at CNN, that’s why we have all gladly locked ourselves away, lest we be tempted.”

I wonder how many of these now-former BMMers mocked Pence's rule regarding working with women.

[Eupher]

As only the Bee can do it.

Quick story -- in a small, medieval town called Rothenburg ob der Tauber, in the Franconian section of Bavaria, there exists a real, honest-to-God, museum that features torture devices used during the medieval era. I'm not making this up. It's called the "Kriminalmuseum".

In that museum, which I've visited a few times in my 4-5 visits to Rothenburg ob der Tauber, there is the story that the "pass key" was invented during the time that chastity belts were affixed to wives waiting on knights and other fighters going to wage war against the Moors and the Muslims in the Holy Land.

https://www.kriminalmuseum.eu/en/unsere-geschichte/

[DefiantSix]

...I wonder how many of these now-former BMMers mocked Pence's rule regarding working with women.

Every last one of them.