Stream of Abuse: Neighbor Peed Off at Pub

[Miss Mia]

Stream of Abuse
Neighbor Peed Off at Pub

The Nolita hot spot Delicatessen has a full cocktail menu, pricey food, model patrons - and nightly golden showers, thanks to one pissed-off neighbor.

The glass-roofed lounge, which opened with red carpets and loud trance music in July, has neighbors at 265 Lafayette St. up in arms over the riotous party atmosphere.

But one unidentified building resident has taken matters into his own hands, emptying his bladder on the see-through ceiling from his apartment window above.

The stream of discontent prompted another apartment dweller to post a sign in the hallway that reads:

"I know not everyone is happy with Delicatessen but, please stop urinating on the glass roof. I have to buy a new a/c because you did not aim correctly! Thank you!"

-snip-

What a pissy situation. 

[Wretched Excess]

[Miss Mia]

Did the people sitting under the glass roof think it was a water show?

[Wretched Excess]

Did the people sitting under the glass roof think it was a water show?

acid rain.  damn that george bush !!111!11!11

[Miss Mia]

An older pee joke, yet still funny....

President Clinton wakes up to a beautiful winter morning. The sun is shining, the air is crisp, and there is a light blanket of snow on the ground.

He stretches and goes to look out the window at the snow-covered White House lawn and sees the words "President Clinton sucks" written in pee in the snow. Clinton gets all upset and calls White House Security. He tells them he doesn't care what it takes but he wants to know who did this.

The Chief of Security returns in a couple of days to the President and tells him that he has good news, bad news, and real bad news. "OK," says Clinton, "give me the good news first, then the bad news, and then the real bad news."

The Chief says: "The good news is after taking analysis of the pee, we know who the culprit is."

Clinton nods and the Chief continues: "The bad news is the culprit is Vice President Gore."

This really upsets the President, but he controls his anger and asks the Chief to tell him the real bad news.

The Chief of Security swallows and says, "It's in Hilary's hand writing".

[Wretched Excess]

An older pee joke, yet still funny....

President Clinton wakes up to a beautiful winter morning. The sun is shining, the air is crisp, and there is a light blanket of snow on the ground.

He stretches and goes to look out the window at the snow-covered White House lawn and sees the words "President Clinton sucks" written in pee in the snow. Clinton gets all upset and calls White House Security. He tells them he doesn't care what it takes but he wants to know who did this.

The Chief of Security returns in a couple of days to the President and tells him that he has good news, bad news, and real bad news. "OK," says Clinton, "give me the good news first, then the bad news, and then the real bad news."

The Chief says: "The good news is after taking analysis of the pee, we know who the culprit is."

Clinton nods and the Chief continues: "The bad news is the culprit is Vice President Gore."

This really upsets the President, but he controls his anger and asks the Chief to tell him the real bad news.

The Chief of Security swallows and says, "It's in Hilary's hand writing".

LOL!

[Miss Mia]

A mother took her little boy to church.
While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."

The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper'."

The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper."

The Father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper in my ear."

 

[Wretched Excess]

A mother took her little boy to church.
While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."

The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper'."

The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper."

The Father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper in my ear."

 

that joke could end a couple of different ways, ya know.

[Miss Mia]

A mother took her little boy to church.
While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."

The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper'."

The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper."

The Father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper in my ear."

 

that joke could end a couple of different ways, ya know.

No making fun of the corny pee jokes. 

[Wretched Excess]

One more pee joke....

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were
very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten
over enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk
and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the
cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought
she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend, however was wearing a rather expensive pair of
panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough
to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon
on it, so she decided to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business they proceeded to go h ome.

The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that
his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over,
so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girl nights
have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife
came home with no panties!!"

"That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with
a card stuck to her butt that said "From all of us at the Fire
Station. We'll never forget you."

 

[Wretched Excess]

ach!  I accidentally edited your post, Mia.  Sorry.

[Miss Mia]

ach!  I accidentally edited your post, Mia.  Sorry.

*gasp*


I'm declaring shenanigans!!!!

[Wretched Excess]

ach!  I accidentally edited your post, Mia.  Sorry.

*gasp*


I'm declaring shenanigans!!!!

I wonder if I will become famous for this.

[Miss Mia]

ach!  I accidentally edited your post, Mia.  Sorry.

*gasp*


I'm declaring shenanigans!!!!

I wonder if I will become famous for this.

I doubt it, but I found how you can rescue yourself in an avalanche. 

A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.

He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out.

But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.

He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported.

He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."

[Wretched Excess]

ach!  I accidentally edited your post, Mia.  Sorry.

*gasp*


I'm declaring shenanigans!!!!

I wonder if I will become famous for this.

I doubt it, but I found how you can rescue yourself in an avalanche. 

A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.

He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out.

But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.

He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported.

He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I'm glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."

I'll bet the snow would have melted just as well if he had just poured the beer on the snow.

[Miss Mia]

I'll bet the snow would have melted just as well if he had just poured the beer on the snow.

I wonder how much pee he got in the car versus on the snow.

[Wretched Excess]

I'll bet the snow would have melted just as well if he had just poured the beer on the snow.

I wonder how much pee he got in the car versus on the snow.

after the 3rd or 4th liter of beer, I am sure it was quite a bit.  but I am equally sure that he didn't care.

[Chris]

I'll bet the snow would have melted just as well if he had just poured the beer on the snow.

I wonder how much pee he got in the car versus on the snow.

That would have been awkward.  But rule #1 of peeing in your car is to not get any on the upholstery.