OK, I read this diatribe three times and cannot figure out what sort of analogy word diarrhea salad this means.
Because you live in a Republican district, the neighbors complain about you smoking in your own home? Why on earth do you blame it on your "Cheeto-lini" neighbors. Libertarian Republicans are not puritanical on restricting self-destructive behavior. That sounds more like a liberal Karen type behavior. Perhaps some of the libs' favorite boogeyman stereotypical religious types frown upon smoking and drinking.
Similar to Rock-head, your "old" friend Uncle Ralphie lives in a four unit townhouse in the burbs. (Thankfully at least 200 miles from that Neanderthal dunderhead.) And yes, I'm still a smoker but only imbibe outdoors, even in the bitter Midwest winters.