how did you handle sexual harassment back in the day

[dutch508]

Star Member malaise (233,008 posts)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215695719

OK retired DUers - how did you handle sexual harassment back in the day

I had a senior colleague who would say suggestive things. It stopped the day I told him that I might have a chat with his wife about his intentions - not once did he ever approach me again.

Years later a politician on the island sent one of his aides to tell me he was very interested - my response was that I was a very bad option because I'd tell the entire island if he couldn't deliver as promised. The word was already out that he could not. I also let the aide know that he was a first rate low life soliciting for others - after that I'd laugh in their faces anytime I ran into them.

My favorite aunt taught me early that there are times when it's best to abandon sweetness and be rude and tough rather than endure disgusting behavior. It always worked and I passed my approach on to all the young women I mentored.

 

The sex-pervert in NY is the lead news... of course DU makes it all about them.

no_hypocrisy (38,662 posts)

1. I called them on it every time.

I worked for two male attorneys in their mid-50s. They talked like cast members of "The Sopranos."

While the language was not directed at me, the message hung in the air. I slapped them down every time.

I eventually quit b/c one of the attorneys screamed at me and then hit me hard on the arm.

Words are one thing. Assault is another.

 

Star Member DURHAM D (30,389 posts)

2. The first time I was 14.

I told my Dad. I was working at a public swimming pool. My Dad went to the Mayor and the Chief of Police as well as others. The old fart lost his job.

Star Member liberal_mama (637 posts)

3. I got sexually harassed every day at work and school in the 80s and 90s

My mother said, "That's just how men are. Attractive women have to put up with it." So I ignored it and tried to make sure I wasn't alone with these perverts. Of course, eventually I ended up alone with one of them, and he raped me in 1994. I'm still in therapy because of it. I'm glad that women today aren't just ignoring it and putting up with it.

Star Member DURHAM D (30,389 posts)

5. I also had a co-worker that came up behind me

while I was seated at my desk and shoved his junk into my shoulder. The first time I didn't say anything. The next time I told him to stop it in a loud voice. Everyone in the area wanted to know what happened. I told them during break. Junk pusher never did that to me again.

Later he harassed a new employee but more directly for sexual favors. This was a political office btw. I told the right person and pusher lost his job.

Midnight Writer (12,654 posts)

8. As a young man, I worked in an office with some ladies that thought grabbing my ass was funny.

I would jump out of my skin every time.

I was 21, needed the job, and am naturally a shy introvert.

Finally, one day I turned on this lady and yelled, cussed, told her to cut the crap, really made a scene.

That was the end of the ass grabbing, but I still got a lot of improper comments and propositions, which I pretty much just put up with.

I think part of it was they felt that a man would like that kind of attention.

 

Mary in S. Carolina (223 posts)

13. I duck taped a recorder to my chest

and let my harassers and abusers hang themselves, then I sued them....twice.

 

Deuxcents (2,328 posts)

15. I worked at a large corporation

And had a great Union. Twice I grieved about sexual assault/harassment. They took care of it as I never saw either one of em again. I worked there over 30 years and I was active in my Union. Thankfully, this issue was addressed a long time ago with management n non management alike. It just wasn’t tolerated.

Star Member KarenS (2,092 posts)

18. oh goodness,,,, not well,,,,

I was outrageous,,,, smoked brown cigarettes, talked like a truck driver,,,, I worked with mostly older men so I talked about being attracted to those young (actually I said: 23 year old) blond boys (the USA men's gymnastic team of 1984),,,, yikes, I shudder now at my behavior, but felt back then that the best defense was a good offense. Amazing how it all went away when I reached my mid-forties, it was just relief on my part.
I think some industry's are worse than others,,,, I worked in aerospace,,,,
Yikes, I had not thought about this in years,,,,

 

HipChick (25,153 posts)

20. Someone I worked for tried to grab me by the boobs

I kicked him in the goolies...right where it hurts

I'm not a violent person, and don't know what would have happened next.

I cut my eye after him anytime I saw him after that...

He never ever came near to me again after that...

Hipchick don't play that..

Left the company soon after, as I felt so uncomfortable...

After, I left found out he had done the same to at least 4 other women, and he had gotten fired...

 

Star Member LakeArenal (18,450 posts)

22. Sometimes I get pushback:

I was in college in 1970. There were courses on speaking up, women’s rights, the ERA amendment “talks”.
I got tear gassed on my way home from a math class upon hearing police say the wanted to go home “let’s break this up.”

I got drunk at a frat party and fell asleep on my “date”. He got mad and sent his brothers in naked and spraying me with shaving cream....

I had a regular caller who asked if I wanted to nude model for him....

Since then I had a boss that I went to a convention that offered to get two rooms or one big one.

I had an employer take me to lunch at a Howard Johnson and proceeded to show me the penis pump he just had installed (?)

I had a boss come up and pinch me on my ass.

I had a boss once say, Woman hear differently than men, when he tried to deny he called me honey.

A lesbian boss once asked me if I was sure I know what good sex is.

At the frat house I just closed my eyes and did not react in any way to them. Then I went home.

The caller called until a man had to save me and my boyfriend told him that yes he would like to meet him. Otherwise I just hung up.

The penis pump I simply said that I thought he should ask his wife about what she thought. We continued to work
together. I told him later I did tell my husband.

The pincher I turned around and punched in the stomach. He said he was sorry. We continued to work together.

The lesbian and I laughed together when I asked her the same question? I became good friends with her.

The one or two room guy was shocked the next morning when I told him that I told my husband. He thought I gave off signals
Of course I didn’t. He and his wife held Catholic Marriage encounters. I could have really ruined him. I didn’t. We continued to work together. I even got him a job off at the next company I worked for.

The hearing differently guy I just rolled my eyes and said I never “heard” that.

So my point is, since the ‘70’s we’ve been told to speak up. So I have. So it still baffles me when other women don’t.

I’m not condemning them.

The whole patriarchal system is wrong.

I haven’t followed this Cuomo thing but I thought I read somewhere an accuser said something like... “I thought I should have said something right then but I didn’t.”

My dad once said, the thing about losing a job ( and I have ) is:
Three things can happen.
You can find a new job that’s just not as good as that job.
You can find a new job that’s as good as that job.
Or maybe you can find a better job than that job.
You have 2/3’s chance of finding as good as or better job than that job and that’s good odds.

Every job seems to have predators so I decide to work with the predators I know.

 

[Mary Ann]

Star Member liberal_mama (637 posts)

3. I got sexually harassed every day at work and school in the 80s and 90s

My mother said, "That's just how men are. Attractive women have to put up with it." So I ignored it and tried to make sure I wasn't alone with these perverts. Of course, eventually I ended up alone with one of them, and he raped me in 1994. I'm still in therapy because of it. I'm glad that women today aren't just ignoring it and putting up with it.

27 years in therapy?? I think "liberal mama" needs a new therapist.

[DefiantSix]

Star Member DURHAM D (30,389 posts)

5. I also had a co-worker that came up behind me

while I was seated at my desk and shoved his junk into my shoulder. The first time I didn't say anything. The next time I told him to stop it in a loud voice. Everyone in the area wanted to know what happened. I told them during break. Junk pusher never did that to me again.

Later he harassed a new employee but more directly for sexual favors. This was a political office btw. I told the right person and pusher lost his job.

The things that go on in the office of a scumbag Dim'Rat politician (go ahead; tell me the  about how you  were desperate so you went to work in the office of an eee-vil Republican. I triple dog dare you...)

[SVPete]

Star Member malaise (233,008 posts)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215695719

OK retired DUers - how did you handle sexual harassment back in the day

I had a senior colleague who would say suggestive things. It stopped the day I told him that I might have a chat with his wife about his intentions - not once did he ever approach me again.

Was the wife named Wilma or Betty?  

[67 Rover]

Mary in S. Carolina (223 posts)

13. I duck taped a recorder to my chest

and let my harassers and abusers hang themselves, then I sued them....twice.

Bainesbane could have taped a reel to reel on her chest! 

[Texacon]

Star Member liberal_mama (637 posts)

3. I got sexually harassed every day at work and school in the 80s and 90s

My mother said, "That's just how men are. Attractive women have to put up with it." So I ignored it and tried to make sure I wasn't alone with these perverts. Of course, eventually I ended up alone with one of them, and he raped me in 1994. I'm still in therapy because of it. I'm glad that women today aren't just ignoring it and putting up with it.

Bet you were one of those who thought Pence was a misogynist because he wouldn't be alone with a woman who was not his wife, huh?

KC

[SVPete]

Bet you were one of those who thought Pence was a misogynist because he wouldn't be alone with a woman who was not his wife, huh?

KC

  earned and issued!

Some DUpipo were actually POed at Pence because that habit meant he couldn't be Anita-Hilled.

[Texacon]

earned and issued!

Some DUpipo were actually POed at Pence because that habit meant he couldn't be Anita-Hilled.

Yes sir.  Billy Graham was the same way, and I would assume Franklin follows that same rule.

KC

[landofconfusion80]

Has anyone actually seen a pic of a primitive that they would bother harassing? I havent.

[DefiantSix]

Has anyone actually seen a pic of a primitive that they would bother harassing? I havent.

Of course, DUmmy hags consider THAT harassment as well, when you are physically repulsed by them.

Damned if you do, and damned if you don't...

[Dblhaul]

Bainesbane could have taped a reel to reel on her chest!

This brought out a chuckle. Hi5

[DUmpsterDiver]

Pick one (or more)...

1. On bended knee.
2. Front and/or backstroke.
3. Faceplant.
4. The deep dive.
5. Hello kitty!
6. Gone Fishing?
7. Hello, it's Me but use your imagination as you please!
8. I'm late and you are smiling!
9. woke up and get bent!
10. Have we started yet?

[freedumb2003b]

Star Member LakeArenal (18,450 posts)

22. Sometimes I get pushback:

I was in college in 1970. There were courses on speaking up, women’s rights, the ERA amendment “talks”.
I got tear gassed on my way home from a math class upon hearing police say the wanted to go home “let’s break this up.”

I got drunk at a frat party and fell asleep on my “date”. He got mad and sent his brothers in naked and spraying me with shaving cream....

I had a regular caller who asked if I wanted to nude model for him....

Since then I had a boss that I went to a convention that offered to get two rooms or one big one.

I had an employer take me to lunch at a Howard Johnson and proceeded to show me the penis pump he just had installed (?)

I had a boss come up and pinch me on my ass.

I had a boss once say, Woman hear differently than men, when he tried to deny he called me honey.

A lesbian boss once asked me if I was sure I know what good sex is.

At the frat house I just closed my eyes and did not react in any way to them. Then I went home.

The caller called until a man had to save me and my boyfriend told him that yes he would like to meet him. Otherwise I just hung up.

The penis pump I simply said that I thought he should ask his wife about what she thought. We continued to work
together. I told him later I did tell my husband.

The pincher I turned around and punched in the stomach. He said he was sorry. We continued to work together.

The lesbian and I laughed together when I asked her the same question? I became good friends with her.

The one or two room guy was shocked the next morning when I told him that I told my husband. He thought I gave off signals
Of course I didn’t. He and his wife held Catholic Marriage encounters. I could have really ruined him. I didn’t. We continued to work together. I even got him a job off at the next company I worked for.

The hearing differently guy I just rolled my eyes and said I never “heard” that.

So my point is, since the ‘70’s we’ve been told to speak up. So I have. So it still baffles me when other women don’t.

I’m not condemning them.

The whole patriarchal system is wrong.

I haven’t followed this Cuomo thing but I thought I read somewhere an accuser said something like... “I thought I should have said something right then but I didn’t.”

My dad once said, the thing about losing a job ( and I have ) is:
Three things can happen.
You can find a new job that’s just not as good as that job.
You can find a new job that’s as good as that job.
Or maybe you can find a better job than that job.
You have 2/3’s chance of finding as good as or better job than that job and that’s good odds.

Every job seems to have predators so I decide to work with the predators I know.

I will take "things that only happen on L&O episodes but not in RL" for $500 Alex.