Vercetti2021 ... I think I've found what the problem with this one is

[Texacon]

https://www.democraticunderground.org/115110621

vercetti2021 (3,234 posts)


Relapse

 
So my doctor took me off testosterone for the month since my levels are normal. But still told me my estrogen was high still. Thing is with my dysphoria I don't want to lower them. I'm happy to be off testosterone since I want to go the other way now. But now that I've been off my T. I'm feeling tired again, sluggish, and worst of all. My depression has returned and so much worse than before.

Examples like I've already had one breakdown this morning, I'm becoming very overly sensitive to what others are doing around me, my best friend only coming around when she needs me and keeps me so hidden. So that isn't helping at all.

I'm worried about transitioning now because I'm afraid I won't look how I want to look. Like I do not want any masculine part of me remaining and I keep thinking over and over I won't.

I know some people are probably getting tired of me posting here so much but I don't know who else I can really talk to. Can't afford my therapist anymore. So...yeah. I don't know what else to say.

cayugafalls (2,502 posts)

4. You can always post here. No worries.

Have you tried meditation and deep breathing exercises to relax?

vercetti2021 (3,234 posts)

15. Meditation I can't do

I feel very uneasy in a quiet room with my eyes closed. But I haven't tried deep breathing exercises that does that work?

peacefreak2.0 (238 posts)

7. (😢)

You’re on a really hard road during a really difficult time. It takes a lot of courage to follow your path. You are honoring who you are on the inside. Don’t worry too much about not looking like you want to. Your inner strength will shine through and reflect who you are. And let’s face it, most of us aren’t happy with our outside shells. Sending love.

How about stop encouraging mental illness, m'kay.

vercetti2021 (3,234 posts)

21. I wish it was that simple

Finding friends around here especially understanding friends is a very difficult process. I mean I just don't know how testosterone has so much power over how the brain works and how it affects us well at least us men

You're on the right path there dude.  You are a man, just start reminding yourself of that.  You were created that way and you're messing with the natural order and that's why you're depressed.  Just my opinion of course.

KC

[67 Rover]

I'm worried about transitioning now because I'm afraid I won't look how I want to look.

Rule of thumb. They NEVER do. 

[SVPete]

Trying to re-balance hormones is difficult enough when there are valid medical reasons. Doing it to "transition" is a prelude to self-mutilation, not a valid medial reason.

[DLR Pyro]

that's a self inflicted wound.  I have no sympathy.

[Mary Ann]

I'm happy to be off testosterone since I want to go the other way now.

I'm trying to follow this... Was this a "she" who became a "he" and now wants to be a "she" again??

[67 Rover]

I'm trying to follow this... Was this a "she" who became a "he" and now wants to be a "she" again??

It was always a he pretending to be a she because of its mental illness. XY chromosomes.

[Mary Ann]

It was always a he pretending to be a she because of its mental illness. XY chromosomes.

Okay, but why was "it" on testosterone to begin with?

[DumbAss Tanker]

I'm worried about transitioning now because I'm afraid I won't look how I want to look.

What 67 Rover said.

It's a garbage in, garbage out deal.  If you're a 240 pound, six-foot-one dude, it is physically impossible for you to be convincing as a chick.  If you are a five-four chick, fat or thin, you're just going to end up looking like a bull dyke, or at best a dude of unimpressive stature that's either a butterball or scrawny but with an odd preference for baggy pants to hide your hip bones.

If your actual skeleton and musculature really is a lot like a reasonable average of what you're going for, you may be able to actually pull it off, at least for initial impressions.  You're still not what you're pretending to be, but at least you can pass for awhile and fool yourself.

[USA4ME]

cayugafalls

Have you tried meditation and deep breathing exercises to relax?

You need to suggest they try hemlock.

.