Author Topic: Uncle Tom  (Read 248 times)

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Offline dutch508

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Uncle Tom
« on: November 30, 2019, 11:54:50 PM »
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Star Member StarfishSaver (6,729 posts)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212741640

Michael Harriot: The 8 Kinds of Black Donald Trump Supporters

1. MAGA-scots
One of “the good ones.” These are the black people who are willing to serve as mascots for the white people who love Trump. They do so for a variety of reasons. Some of them are black people of middling intelligence, but when they are surrounded by mediocre white people, the combination of racism and low-IQ makes conservatives think the MAGA-scots must be geniuses.

Take Candace Owens, for instance. She was once a left-leaning liberal with no particular talent until she learned that her ability to restrict her vocal chords to mimic Caucastic indignation made her the perfect person at which white people could point when they say: “See, she gets it.”

How to spot them: This group is the easiest to spot. The women usually wear bright red clownish rouge and use phrases like “Black People are not a monolith” and talk negatively about Planned Parenthood and Beyoncé’s short dresses because—like most Republicans—they are very concerned about other women’s vaginas.

The men are always clean-shaven and often explain how they never asked for handouts as they rose from being the son of a sharecropper. I don’t know where all these black sharecroppers are or why they **** so much but trust me, they are always the son of a sharecropper.

They also have small penises (Hey, I’m just sharing information).

Prominent MAGA-scots: Candace Owens, Paris Dennard

2. Dummies
I mean... some people are just dumb, bruh. They get taken advantage of because they’re really not very smart and they like shiny things. For these people, Trump is as interesting as a rattle to an infant. It is brightly colored and it makes a lot of noise.

How to spot them: You don’t have to ask them the Pythagorean theorem or anything. Just talk to them. You’ll know.

Prominent Dummies: Diamond and/or Silk; Floyd Mayweather

3. Churchless Pastors
Description: There are some, like my colleague Damon Young, who wonder where all these black preachers who support Trump come from. Luckily, I have the data to answer that question.

Contrary to Mr. Young’s scientific hypothesis, they are not produced in a Bluetooth factory. Have you ever seen any of the so-called “pastors” who support Trump leading a service at their actual church? Have you ever been at your house of worship and heard a visitor say: “I attend Bootlicker Baptist where the Reverend Darrell Scott is my pastor?”

Of course not.

Donald Trump is a fake preacher’s wet dream. Think about it: He’s a man who tells lies to large crowds and convinces them to believe in shit they have never seen (large inauguration crowds, roving bands of Mexican rapists, his intelligence...). They cheer during his sermon and then they give him money!

When Trump implores the audience to chant “Build that wall,” he’s basically doing the same thing black preachers do when they tell the congregation to “turn to your neighbor.” “Lock her up” is basically the wypipo version of “God is good...”

(And if you didn’t just say: “All the time,” please send your black card in a self-addressed stamped envelope to The Root’s New York office.)

How to spot them: They always invoke scripture, but when you ask them about Trump’s sins, their only response is “I’m not here to judge. As Christians, we are supposed to look past his faults. I serve a forgiving God.”

Prominent Churchless Pastors: Rev. Darrell “Top Gang Thugs” Scott; Rev. Mark “Not a Kappa” Burns

4. Black Conspiracy Theorists
Black people love a good conspiracy theory and whether its Q Anon, Benghazi or Hillary Clinton’s emails, TrumpPets are willing to believe anything they read on the internet because it makes them feel like they know something everyone else doesn’t know.

These are the people who were targeted by the Russian propaganda campaign because half of America doesn’t read books or reputable news sources. The other half believes everything on the internet is true, no matter where it comes from. For these people, a story from ImProbablyLyingAboutThis.com is the same as the Washington Post.

I have an uncle who loves Alex Jones. No matter how much I disprove his craziness, he shrugs it off by asking: “Yeah, but how do you know that’s true?” Even when I think I’ve convinced him, the conversation always ends with: “But you gotta admit, he be knowing a lotta shit.”

How to spot them: The difficult thing about dealing with these people is that you cannot convince them of the truth because, no matter how much evidence you show them, they can always dismiss it with: “That’s what they want you to believe.” I’m still trying to find out who “they” is.

The best way to spot them is to bring up one of a widespread conspiracy theory and see if they bite. Ask them if Tupac is dead, if Beyoncé is in the Illuminati or whether the Willie Lynch letter is real.

Prominent Black Conspiracy Theorists: Michael the Black Man, Roseanne Barr (Oh, you thought Roseanne Barr was white? That’s what they want you to believe.)

5. “Different” Black People
When white people assure you that they have a black friend, these are the people they are talking about. Although they also can’t exist without being in close proximity to whiteness, these people are not the same as MAGA-scots. These are the people who only had white friends growing up and claim they were teased by all the black kids. They will tell you it’s because they are smart or “different” but it’s really because everyone is teased when they are young.

They believe they are not “regular black” because they played Dungeons and Dragons and listened to alternative rock. But it’s not that guitar music and wizard-shit appeals to them, it’s whiteness that they crave. They don’t really get involved in politics but because they only hang around white people and only watch Fox News, their view of Trump is mostly positive. They will never tell you that they support Trump, they will just vote for him.

Plus, they get the heebie-jeebies when anyone brings up race.

How to spot them: Because these people try their best to avoid spaces filled with people who don’t understand them, they don’t often go to black barbershops or beauty salons. Therefore, you can always tell from their hair. They always look like they go to Supercuts and ask for “All Lives Matter” special.

You can also spot them from their wardrobe. The men wear khakis and running shoes, usually Asics. The women usually wear Birkenstocks.

Prominent “Different” Black People: Dennis Rodman, the black guy in all Buffalo Wild Wings Commercials, Azealia Banks

6. True Believers
Believe it or not, there are black people who believe in Trump’s ideology. I know this is hard to believe, but you must remember that after the Emancipation Proclamation, there were slaves who chose to stay on their masters’ plantations. There were black people who didn’t like Martin Luther King, Jr. I’ve even read about black people who don’t like watermelon. Of course, I would never touch those people but they do exist.

A lot of True Believers are devout Christians who will tell you that God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. If you tell them that 6,000 years ago, there were probably more gay men in the middle east than there were guys named Adam, they will tell you that you need prayer.

How to spot them: They are always clean-shaven and they emphasize their Rs when they talk. They only go to churches that sing songs out of hymnals because they don’t like that freewheeling shit. They clap on the upbeat and they absolutely love Condoleeza Rice.

Or simply tell them that you are an atheist just to see their brains explode.

Prominent True Believers: Tim Scott, Ben Carson, Tina Campbell

7. Opportunists
Some people are Trump supporters because it benefits them in some way. Maybe they are trying to climb the career ladder at a conservative law firm. Maybe they want to be a Republican mascot. Maybe they’re presented with the choice of touring the country singing in a gospel version of Love Jones or performing two songs at his inauguration. Perhaps they’re just trying to **** Tomi Lahren.

Just like there are some Democrats who give black people lip service and don’t give a damn about us, there are black people who would sell their nephew’s kidney to a wealthy Russian oligarch for the opportunity to get a little more money or power. They believe that latching on to any white person will help them get to the top and they are willing to try anything.

How to spot them: In private moments, they will tell you they think Trump is despicable, but it’s the side they chose. However, if they are ever called out, or see the need to switch, they will disavow him. They didn’t mean it. Give them a hug.

Be careful, they will stab you in the neck to reach the next rung on the ladder.

Prominent Opportunists: Omarosa Manigault, Steve Harvey, Ray Lewis, Chrisette Michelle

8. Kanye West
See opportunist. See dummies. See “Different Black People.” See “Keeping up With The Kardashians.”

How to spot him: He’s Kanye West!

Prominent Kanye Wests: Kanye West, Yeezy, Kim Kardashian West

https://www.theroot.com/the-8-kinds-of-black-donald-trump-supporters-1828064968

Can't let the negro off the plantation, boss...

Quote
Star Member lunasun (17,593 posts)

1. I would move Zirconia and Polyester to #7 . They are way too fake to be dummies . Just after $$$$

and i bet you can make a good buck on trump magat love cuz a fool and his money.....

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2016 DOTY: 06 Omaha Steve - Is dying for ****'s face! How could you not vote for him, you heartless bastards!?!

Offline DUmpDiver

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Re: Uncle Tom
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2019, 04:10:45 AM »
The author forgot about another segment of AAs: People who like having jobs and opportunity.

Offline Old n Grumpy

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Re: Uncle Tom
« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2019, 06:21:07 AM »
How about the ones that realize the dems only want their vote.

Now that they have the illegals to mow their lawns the blacks are less important. :thatsright:
Basking in the glow of my white Privilege, while I water the Begonias with liberal tears!

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Offline SVPete

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Re: Uncle Tom
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2019, 08:46:02 AM »
Please! Get Sambo and Quimbo  to write a less verbose version of this for inclusion in the Dem Party platform!

Writer Michael Harriot is black, so it's "safe", maybe, for Star Moron StarfishSaver to post this. If, however, she is called out for posting this racist claptrap, pointing out the writer's race would constitute White Privilege.
Facts don't matter to DUpipo

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Offline Texacon

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Re: Uncle Tom
« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2019, 09:15:33 AM »
Wow, that’s a lot of racism in one post! 

I’m starting to wonder if Starfish Saver is a deep undercover mole.

KC
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: Uncle Tom
« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2019, 09:21:51 AM »
Please Democrat party, adopt this as your national campaign platform.
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Offline 67 Rover

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Re: Uncle Tom
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2019, 10:14:49 AM »
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Star Member StarfishSaver (6,729 posts)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212741640

Michael Harriot: The 8 Kinds of Black Donald Trump Supporters
WOW!  SPLC are you listening to this?  This is what real racism looks like FYI.
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: Uncle Tom
« Reply #7 on: December 01, 2019, 02:00:34 PM »
Google this Michael Harriot dude. Sounds as if he's got some unresolved anger issues.
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Offline Movie buff- The Sequel

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Re: Uncle Tom
« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2019, 05:53:17 PM »
While this article is obviously a complete and total crock, one easy way to tell this is by checking the source of the article:
It comes from "The Root," a black online magazine known largely for four things: 1) Its psychotically ultra- left- wing stances on everything, 2) Its manic, frenzied, foaming- at- the- mouth racism towards white people in everything they put out (Hence why this article is seen repeatedly using the racist slur term "Wypipo"), which has caused one Youtube commenter to rightfully refer to them as "Stormfront for black people," 3) The completely ridiculous hypocrisy that is displayed on it, as the people there regularly claim that they are "Fighting racism" while spewing out garbage that is over twenty times more blatantly racist than the stuff they are condemning (Again, see how this article talks about how all white Republicans are racist while they themselves routinely spout the racist slur term "Wypipo"), and 4) How completely idiotic its columnists, spokespeople, and positions on every issue are. Its moronic Youtube videos often rely solely on articles from their own website (Most of which either take the issues in question out of context, horrifically overexaggerate them, or just flat- out lie about them) as source materials to try and back up their brainless, bigoted claims.
They are so full of crap, they make Rolling Stone Magazine look like an honest, fairly- balanced, respectable news source in comparison.
Here's another example of the sort of crap that they do:
While she (Thankfully) doesn't seem to do much for the Root anymore, one of their loudest and most obnoxious voices on Youtube for a long time was a repulsive (Inside and out), brainless, hate- filled behemoth of a woman named Danielle Young.
Here's a rebuttal video in which a black female Youtuber (And one who seems to have liberal leanings, to boot) completely and hilariously eviscerates one of Young's hateful and asinine vids, which came complete with a cameo from the moron who made the article the DUmmy's holding up, Michael Harriot, spouting his own typical racist crap:
(WARNING! NSFW as there is a LOT of bad language in this vid)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cx1Ased5aQQ
Fortunately, Young eventually seemed to stop putting out those horrific vids because she couldn't take how many people, including that particular commenter, were openly criticizing her and pointing out how full of crap she is.

Back to the subject at hand, a couple parts of that asinine article that stuck out for me:
1) "They also have small penises (Hey, I’m just sharing information)."
How exactly would you know that, Mikey? Is there something you're not telling us?

2) "I know this is hard to believe, but you must remember that after the Emancipation Proclamation, there were slaves who chose to stay on their masters’ plantations. There were black people who didn’t like Martin Luther King, Jr. I’ve even read about black people who don’t like watermelon. Of course, I would never touch those people but they do exist."
The real idiocy and hypocrisy of that paragraph comes in the portion talking about black people who didn't like Martin Luther King, Jr.. There were indeed black people in those days who didn't like him. However, most of those people's views were actually almost perfectly in line with the views expressed by the psychotic bigots at the Root, including the loser who wrote this very article. See, most of the black people who disliked Dr. King back then were the militant black nationalists,the Black Panthers/ Nation of Islam crowd. They were the people who referred to Dr. King as a "Chump" and referred to Dr. King's followers as "Uncle Toms" because they (Dr. King and his followers) sought racial harmony rather than black supremacy and believed in peaceful resistance tactics rather than active violence. This dope Harriot and his ilk on the Root would be 100% siding with those sorts of people if they were around in those days, and would be classifying Dr. King as either a "Churchless Pastor" or a "True Believer" on his asinine list.
Just more idiocy, hypocrisy, and racism from two sites that are jam- packed with them.
DU and the Root: A match made in Hell.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2019, 04:30:57 AM by Movie buff- The Sequel »

Offline Old n Grumpy

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Re: Uncle Tom
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2019, 06:40:30 AM »
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They also have small penises (Hey, I’m just sharing information).

collected from hundreds of hours looking over the partitions at the urinals. :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

And you forgot Aunt Jemima!
Basking in the glow of my white Privilege, while I water the Begonias with liberal tears!

Air is Free, that's why we need a carbon tax.

I will give up my guns when the liberals give up their illegal aliens

We need a Bull Shit tax to make the Democrats go broke!

Offline Traveshamockery

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Re: Uncle Tom
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2019, 12:34:55 PM »
JFC, DUmmies are yuge raaaaaaaaaacists.