nOOb tries to establish cred with gas station bouncy...

[asdf2231]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6731405

JFN1  (888 posts)       Sun Aug-24-08 04:28 PM
Original message
At the Quicky Mart 
 Advertisements [?]I just want to relate this; I think the point, speaks for itself.

I was at our local Quicky mart today, in line to pay for my gas. There was a fairly long line, and as I often do waiting in long lines, I grew bored. I checked out the candy on the isle next to me, noting the new 'Pop Rocks Chocolate Bar' while casually wondering how the hell they came up with that, when I noticed the woman in line in front of me had a pin on her bag that said "Obama/Biden '08."

I should preface this by stating that I live in a small southern Midwest town, there is a church on every other corner, and it is a rather Republican/conservative leaning area. We're not quite the 'South' - but close.

Anyway, Biden was only announced as Obama's VP pick yesterday, so I wondered how she got the button so fast - was she psychic, perhaps? I quickly decided that probably, she was not, so I went ahead and asked her.

"Hey, where'd you get your button? I want one!"

"I made it myself - they sell a kit at Walmart in the crafts section."

"Cool!" I said. "I might have to pick one of those up myself."

We started chatting about what a great pick Biden was, when the two of them walked into the store like a foul breeze, cutting right through the line without so much as an 'excuse me,' and made their way towards the soda coolers at the back of the store.

A nice looking couple, probably early 40's, well dressed - I'll just refer to them as 'Ken' and 'Barbie.' Right as they were barging through the line, I was saying to the woman with the button, "I am really excited about Obama - I can't wait to see what he does once he takes office!"

Hearing this, Ken turned his eyes on me and snorted in disgust. Not one to back down from a challenge, I said, somewhat haughtily, "What - you have a problem with Obama?"

He stopped walking, turned on his heel, fixed me with a withering gaze, and said, rather loudly, "Like we'd ever elect a black guy as President." He promptly turned on his heel, and stomped off towards Barbie.

I was only third in line at this point, and when the man said this, the line in front of me, and behind me, stirred a bit. No one said anything, and we could hear Ken and Barbie mumbling to each other over at the coolers.

It was then that I noticed the clerk. His eyes were smoldering, his mouth set tightly. He excused himself from the customer in front of him, and walked to the back of the store.

I don't know what he said to Ken and Barbie, as he kept his voice low. But they left without buying anything, hackles up, and squealed their tires when they pulled out of the parking lot.

The clerk came back to the counter and resumed his duties. None of us in line said anything.

When I got in front of him, I commented about how rude Ken and barbie had been, and gently asked him what he said to them.

He said, "I told them to get out of my store." He took my cash and rang in my purchase. "I own this place; I'm covering for an employee who couldn't work today. And I don't tolerate racism in my store." He handed me my change, advised me to have a nice day, and turned his attention to the next customer, giving me the impression he did not want to talk politics.

I've thought about this all day, and I can't decide if Ken and Barbie just didn't notice that the man behind the counter was African-American, or if they felt so powerful and righteous that they didn't care, and said what they said totally on purpose. Either way, it was quite nice to see them put in their place...just wish I'd have done it...

  Negative bongs for this stinker. 

[Chris]

Completely unbelieveable.

[asdf2231]

So I was going to the local convenience store to buy milk for widows and orphans of *HitlerHallibutonCokeSpoonMcChimpypants' illegal war against the peace loving victims of Iraq.  I was wearing my "Hope For Change That Is Different From The Past Which Was Yesterday But Will Hopefully Get Better In 08" T-shirt and chanting "o-BAMA!, o-BAMA!, o-BAMA!" at the top of my lungs when suddenly 97 people jumped out of the bushes (Vishnu! I hate even applying THAT word to decent wholesome children of our mother like shrubs but you have to be open minded about SOME things.) and followed me into the store telling me how cool I was for being an Obama supporter.

As I approached the counter surrounded by the warming glow of so many smart and cheerful auras the clerk behind the counter drew himself to full attention and actually saluted me for being so progressive!  As he dealt with the people in front of me I chatted with the 97 people and actually managed to convert 3 people who were Hillary supporters who were going to vote for OBAMA! but didn't love him with every fiber of their being. One of them was a swimsuit model who actually got  on her knees and was yanking down my trou to Hoover me in appreciation for healing her political soul when the door opened and an icy wind of putrid hatred and ignorance wafted into the store!

It was Some Freeper Guy! I could tell because he was wearing an American flag baseball cap and a confederate flag T-shirt over his pin stripe banker's pants and $3,000 shoes. He sneered and hissed at everyone in the place and then did a farmers blow on the floor before sauntering up and getting right in my face. Now I may be an acne ridden 22 year old asthmatic virgin with an un-dropped left testicle and a steel plate in my head from where I fell out of the dorm room window after doing too many whippets, but SOMEBODY needed to put this guy in his place!

"OBAMA!" he boomed.  "Ain't that that Niggrah fellah we'uns is gonna lynch for'n he commences to rapin' white wimmens in the name a SATAN?!?!"

Well that was just TOO much, let me tell you. The desk clerk looked to me for a cue and I nodded. He slipped out from behind the counter and locked the door, flipping the sign over to the closed side.  I centered my Chakras and before the guy could blink I channeled the spirit of Leon Trotski and burned him to a cinder with fiery red beams of righteous progressive fury that blasted from my eyes. And to make it absolutely perfect his ashes fell to the ground in the shape of the word "HOPE"! 

We all danced around his smoldering remains singing "We Shall Overcome" and then chanted in a healing circle to purify the place of his foul Freeper contamination.  The store clerk came up to me and shook my hand and said "I don't know if you noticed this... But I'm an African American and I want to thank you for striking a blow for equality for my people!" I assured him that I had always been a champion of racial justice, having lived two floors down from an African American in my dorm building and actually having had a conversation with a fine gentleman who squeegeed my Prius windshield for me one time in Chicago. He cried harder after that and I grasped his head between my hands and stared straight into his eyes as I told him that all of the troubles of the world would end in November and we would all be Brothers From Another Mother and live in peace and harmony with rainbows and unicorns and tons of government grown dope.

Well friends, he swept up what was left of that Freeper Maggot and I paid for my widow and orphan milk and then to the applause of everyone there I walked proudly out of the store. I just wish I could have done more...

Fixt...

[Chris_]

And I don't tolerate racism in my store." He handed me my change, advised me to have a nice day, and turned his attention to the next customer, giving me the impression he did not want to talk politics.

Okay DUmmies here is a tip for creating your fabrications. Don't have one of your characters say something like "And I don't tolerate racism in my store" while you are standing in his/her store. Everyone knows that if a DUmmie is in the store then racism is indeed tolerated in the store.

[Carl]

They are determined to make everything about racisim at the DUmp.

Guess they figured that was all they were ever going to need and are too dense and out of touch to realize that one trick pony isn`t going anywhere with Americans.

[mamacags]

so very very lame

[mamacags]

Fixt...

H5!!!!!!!!!

[jtyangel]

What a load of crap that was.

[JohnnyReb]

If I was a DUmmie trying to bounce one I'd probably start off something like this.....

"So, I was at the gas station, you know the one, the one with all the pretty bushes where the cops hangout for the free coffee and doughnuts. Well, gas was $3.26/9 a gallon and a freeper in line in front of me, with cash in hand and not a high interest credit card mind you, says, "Why, the mear mention of drilling off shore has brought the price of gas down a dollar a gallon." I got mad and started telling him off. I told the dumb**it how Nancy had spoken truth to power when she said, "We can't drill our way out of this mess"........etc., etc. blah-blah-blah.

....and when I came to on the floor there wasn't a cop in sight. They're never around when you really need one.

[ScubaGuy]

They are determined to make everything about racisim at the DUmp.

Guess they figured that was all they were ever going to need and are too dense and out of touch to realize that one trick pony isn`t going anywhere with Americans.

but, but, but  the ONLY reason anyone wouldn't vote for "the chosen one" has got to be race.  He's so perfect in every way.

[Chris_]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6731405

  Negative bongs for this stinker. 

Negative 25 at least. All that effort and no believability.

2KS2KHonda (500 posts)      Sun Aug-24-08 09:05 PM
Response to Reply #45
47. Cabrondale? Around there? Just tell me where it is, no way could that compromise
 your security. Be a hero, prove I'm a racist asshole...or don't and leave the suspicion you made it up.
 grace0418  (1000+ posts)       Sun Aug-24-08 11:31 PM
Response to Reply #47
62. No one else is suspicious, just you. Actually, everyone else is suspicious OF you at this point.
 
 2KS2KHonda (500 posts)      Mon Aug-25-08 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #62
117. Actually, I was addressing the person who made up the story.

grace0418  (1000+ posts)       Mon Aug-25-08 12:04 PM
Response to Reply #117
127. And I'm addressing you.
 If you wanted a private conversation you shouldn't be posting your crap on a public forum.
 2KS2KHonda (500 posts)      Mon Aug-25-08 12:08 PM
Response to Reply #127
128. Fine, then I will explain to you why the story is bogus and made up.
 Aside from the 'perfectness' of all the details with all the embellishment to make a particular point, there is no chance that an African American store owner would be that kind of asshole. They don't get to be successful entrepreneurs by willy-nilly throwing out customers for having contrary political opinions.

LostinVA  (1000+ posts)      Mon Aug-25-08 07:57 AM
Response to Original message
97. Everyone knows that Apu owns the Quickie Mart and he's Indian
 Bounce.

LOL

[BannedFromDU]

Fixt...

     Bullshit, I didn't see any mention of burning sage.

[Bondai]

  Nuf said...!

[Chris_]

It's really weak when the DUmmies are calling the OP's B.S.

[Carl]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x6731405

  Negative bongs for this stinker. 

Negative 25 at least. All that effort and no believability.

2KS2KHonda (500 posts)      Sun Aug-24-08 09:05 PM
Response to Reply #45
47. Cabrondale? Around there? Just tell me where it is, no way could that compromise
 your security. Be a hero, prove I'm a racist *******...or don't and leave the suspicion you made it up.
 grace0418  (1000+ posts)       Sun Aug-24-08 11:31 PM
Response to Reply #47
62. No one else is suspicious, just you. Actually, everyone else is suspicious OF you at this point.
 
 2KS2KHonda (500 posts)      Mon Aug-25-08 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #62
117. Actually, I was addressing the person who made up the story.

grace0418  (1000+ posts)       Mon Aug-25-08 12:04 PM
Response to Reply #117
127. And I'm addressing you.
 If you wanted a private conversation you shouldn't be posting your crap on a public forum.
 2KS2KHonda (500 posts)      Mon Aug-25-08 12:08 PM
Response to Reply #127
128. Fine, then I will explain to you why the story is bogus and made up.
 Aside from the 'perfectness' of all the details with all the embellishment to make a particular point, there is no chance that an African American store owner would be that kind of *******. They don't get to be successful entrepreneurs by willy-nilly throwing out customers for having contrary political opinions.

Hmmmm,calling out their own bouncies st the DUmp?
That is a couple of times now.

Is there some written or unspoken rule on the island that says one never questions the truth or accuracy of a post?

[BannedFromDU]

Is there some written or unspoken rule on the island that says one never questions the truth or accuracy of a post?

     Even THEY use the term "bounce" when they can tell a story is pure bullshit. All it has to be is good theater, without the Perry Mason Moment being too obvious, sentimental, or mawkish. If you can jump those hurdles, you've created Art.

[jinxmchue]

Even THEY use the term "bounce" when they can tell a story is pure bullshit.

So are they imitating us, or were Bouncyball's stories so obviously phony to them, too, that her name became synonymous with steaming piles of b.s.?

[lastparker]

Fixt...

H5!!!!!!!!!

Me too!!!  My gawd, that was funny!

[Chris_]

2KS2KHonda (508 posts)      Mon Aug-25-08 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #130
132. It would be so simple and anonymous for the OP to prove me wrong...
 but that's not happening. Why? Because the story is fabricated. He knows it, I know it and you know it.
If you want to believe that alleged store owner really is an asshole, that's your prerogative...I don't.
 
raebrek  (385 posts)      Mon Aug-25-08 02:39 PM
Response to Reply #62
157. Now that the honda man has received his Pizza.
 I would also like to say that I don't believe this story. Sorry, there it is. I don't know the OP. I read the story first thing this morning and I thought. Hmmm it sounds contrived to me. Hope I'm wrong.

Another one TSed for speaking the truth. Thou shalt not go against the Hive, comrade.