Ft. Meade, MD, 18 Aug, 2008 - A communique from alleged terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden to his would-be minions has been intercepted from the internet by assets here at NSA headquarters.
Although the audio message was garbled and could not be immediately dated or its authenticity verified bin Laden complains bitterly of the toll his jihad has taken noting the unsustainable numbers that have been martyred, as well as the costs in financial backing and materials.
But there was more to the message than simply bemoaning the operational toll from waging war with the world's sole hyperpower.
"We just can't get anything done," the fugitive complains in the audio. "Everytime we hijack a plane or try to behead a hostage the Bush administration leaps in at the last moment with controlled demolitions here, a Tomahawk missile there or a bogus CIA tape.
"I mean, what the **** are we supposed to do? You've all seen the videos on YouTube on how they're stealing our thunder.
"We spend all this time and money recruiting people, setting up training camps, infiltrating them, maintaining the operational security until we're supposed to strike and then what? Chimpy boy runs in and takes all the glory for himself.
"Why should we even bother when he's doing all the killing of godless American infidels himself?"
"You just can't get a word in edgewise with these neocons running around," the transcript provided exclusively to BNN went on to say. "Maybe we'll come back and try again when a democrat is in office."
