I'm worried about Schade......

[DixieBelle]

Oh my goodness!

I had my son in Dallas. I was on bed rest the last 5 weeks and had severe edema. If you stuck a pin in me, I would have wound up in Denton. (A few of you will get that one)

Anyway, my doctor was super busy and saw way too many patients. I learned early on to get the first appt of the day. He let me go too long. A week AFTER my due date (first and only baby btw) he saw me in the office, did a final sono, pronounced my soon-to-be born son a 10 pounder, and told me to show up at 5am the next day. Gulp!

I got the snotty "I just worked a double shift" nurse to get me settled and to start my IV. Oh boy! Then the students came in. Apparently a woman under 5 ft tall reaching maximum density and being more swollen than Pamela Anderson's bra is something to behold.

We induce and get nowhere. They leave me be for hours and I find out from one of the sweet students (who's eyes got as big as saucers) that the Head of Obstetrics had a daughter in law in labor on the same floor. She was screaming and throwing a fit, demanding things, ordering people around, etc...I got ignored and they left the poor students to take care of me. One of them was a 50 year old guy. He was clueless but nice. I felt like a jr. high science project!

I kept waiting for them to pull out the miner's hats as they gathered 'round.

12 hours later, I need a c-section. Baby is not doing well and neither am I. By that time, the uber-mommy/VIP had delivered and the fire drill was over. I got lots of attention then and I'm glad I did. They really took good care of me. I apparently propositioned the good looking anesthesiologist who gave me the epidural. 

I'm still miffed that he let me go so long and get so big! My son weighed almost 9lbs and had trouble breathing for 45 minutes.

[BEG]

Oh my goodness!

I had my son in Dallas. I was on bed rest the last 5 weeks and had severe edema. If you stuck a pin in me, I would have wound up in Denton. (A few of you will get that one)

Anyway, my doctor was super busy and saw way too many patients. I learned early on to get the first appt of the day. He let me go too long. A week AFTER my due date (first and only baby btw) he saw me in the office, did a final sono, pronounced my soon-to-be born son a 10 pounder, and told me to show up at 5am the next day. Gulp!

I got the snotty "I just worked a double shift" nurse to get me settled and to start my IV. Oh boy! Then the students came in. Apparently a woman under 5 ft tall reaching maximum density and being more swollen than Pamela Anderson's bra is something to behold.

We induce and get nowhere. They leave me be for hours and I find out from one of the sweet students (who's eyes got as big as saucers) that the Head of Obstetrics had a daughter in law in labor on the same floor. She was screaming and throwing a fit, demanding things, ordering people around, etc...I got ignored and they left the poor students to take care of me. One of them was a 50 year old guy. He was clueless but nice. I felt like a jr. high science project!

I kept waiting for them to pull out the miner's hats as they gathered 'round.

12 hours later, I need a c-section. Baby is not doing well and neither am I. By that time, the uber-mommy/VIP had delivered and the fire drill was over. I got lots of attention then and I'm glad I did. They really took good care of me. I apparently propositioned the good looking anesthesiologist who gave me the epidural. 

I'm still miffed that he let me go so long and get so big! My son weighed almost 9lbs and had trouble breathing for 45 minutes.

I did.   

[Miss Mia]

I had my son in Dallas. I was on bed rest the last 5 weeks and had severe edema. If you stuck a pin in me, I would have wound up in Denton. (A few of you will get that one) 

LOL!!!   

[debk]

I can't believe they let you go that long, Dixie!!! Especially at your size!

My son was 2.5 weeks early. I drove myself to the hospital. I figured I was just going in to find out why I was "leaking" off and on. I went upstairs in a wheelchair...the other choice was on a gurney. His head wasn't engaged and so they were afraid of the cord dropping. I was induced but only in labor about 4.5 hours. He still weighed 8.3 lbs...with a perfectly round 14" head. Poor child looked like a bowling ball with eyes and a mouth...that was always looking for food. I don't know what he would have weighed after another 2 weeks. I still managed to gain 65lb.

I had gained 80 with my daughter....I started out weighing 97lb....I checked in to have her at 180. The nurse that checked me in told me I'd never lose it. I was back in my clothes at my 6 week check-up!  I was in labor with her for 27 hours....12 on pitocin. She was positioned wrong, and if there had been an aneasthesiologist available, I would have had a C-section. Fortunately, she finally got moving the last 3 hours.

After my son was born .....there was no way that I was going to go through being pregnant again.

My mother was only 5'2"....I weighed 9.4 and I supposedly was a month early. I, too, was a C-section, and my mother never had another either.

My daughter had a C-section with my grandson too. She was induced, and then 16 hours later, with almost no progession, they had no choice. Turned out the cord was around my grandson's neck too.

Kinda makes you wonder if this is genetic.

[Thor]

I've had THREE, count them, THREE cystoscopies........ 

[Lacarnut]

I had one o' them procedures back around mid-March.  The prep the night before was MUCH worse than the actual procedure, for which I was out like a light.

 

Drinking that stuff was no fun. Did not feel like the Dr had done any probing at all. 

[morningAngel]

[youtube=425,350]41APzy5kqBU[/youtube]


 

[Donpeyote]

 

[NHSparky]

I did mine 7 years ago when I had diverticulitis.  My colon had already fistulaed into my bladder (hole between the two) about a finger-width in diameter, so I was farting and pooping where I shouldn't have been.

Yes, the go-lyte solution tasted like burnt plastic dog crap, and yes, I drank the ENTIRE gallon that night before.  No, I didn't sleep, as I couldn't rest long enough between screaming shits to actually, you know, get off the can.

So the tranqilizer didn't work 100 percent, because I felt them shoving a telephone pole with a camera attached up my ass.  Then I got the, "you'll feel a little puff of air" line.  Little puff?  You bastards just set off a fire extinguisher in my ass, or hooked me up to a 185 compressor!

Finally the deal is over, I get home, and guess when that air all decided to come out?  Yep--right on my couch.  THREE MINUTE NON-STOP FART.  Not farts, or string of--ONE SINGLE EXTENDED FART.

Even the dog was scared.

But, 36 stiches and minus 10 inches of colon later, I'm all better.  Whee.

[debk]

I did mine 7 years ago when I had diverticulitis.  My colon had already fistulaed into my bladder (hole between the two) about a finger-width in diameter, so I was farting and pooping where I shouldn't have been.

Yes, the go-lyte solution tasted like burnt plastic dog crap, and yes, I drank the ENTIRE gallon that night before.  No, I didn't sleep, as I couldn't rest long enough between screaming shits to actually, you know, get off the can.

So the tranqilizer didn't work 100 percent, because I felt them shoving a telephone pole with a camera attached up my ass.  Then I got the, "you'll feel a little puff of air" line.  Little puff?  You bastards just set off a fire extinguisher in my ass, or hooked me up to a 185 compressor!

Finally the deal is over, I get home, and guess when that air all decided to come out?  Yep--right on my couch.  THREE MINUTE NON-STOP FART.  Not farts, or string of--ONE SINGLE EXTENDED FART.

Even the dog was scared.

But, 36 stiches and minus 10 inches of colon later, I'm all better.  Whee.

Glad to know you are ok now, Sparky!!!


I had to laugh reading your post.

I had a roommate in college, who had a boyfriend who would sit against our door.....and light ( with a match) his farts. (yes...he was usually stoned). Nice long blue flames.....

All I could think of when you mentioned your 3 minute fart.....was....man...if you had lit that thing....you would have burnt up the room.....let alone parts near and dear.



I'm functioning on about 3.5 hours of sleep...so I'm a bit twisted this morning...

[Full-Auto]

Aw thanks... I was going to give you an update and I got sidetracked with work details. I am also a little loopy with a good narcotic mix they gave me.

My bum is A+. I don't have to do this procedure for another 5 years.

What is it with my boobs and bum? Why is it that doctors want to probe or otherwise handle them on regular basis? 

Eh, welcome to the gang.  I'm due for my 5 year plumbing check next year... although my doc told me to go ahead and do it now if I want to.  Want to?  Who wants a snake shoved up their can all the way to the stomach?  Jesh...

I wouldn't want to be a butt doctor, but a boob doctor would be the tits!  Well, you know what I mean.

[BEG]

Aw thanks... I was going to give you an update and I got sidetracked with work details. I am also a little loopy with a good narcotic mix they gave me.

My bum is A+. I don't have to do this procedure for another 5 years.

What is it with my boobs and bum? Why is it that doctors want to probe or otherwise handle them on regular basis? 

Eh, welcome to the gang.  I'm due for my 5 year plumbing check next year... although my doc told me to go ahead and do it now if I want to.  Want to?  Who wants a snake shoved up their can all the way to the stomach?  Jesh...

I wouldn't want to be a butt doctor, but a boob doctor would be the tits!  Well, you know what I mean.

You'd still have to handle saggy old lady boobs. 

[Miss Mia]

I did mine 7 years ago when I had diverticulitis.  My colon had already fistulaed into my bladder (hole between the two) about a finger-width in diameter, so I was farting and pooping where I shouldn't have been.

Yes, the go-lyte solution tasted like burnt plastic dog crap, and yes, I drank the ENTIRE gallon that night before.  No, I didn't sleep, as I couldn't rest long enough between screaming shits to actually, you know, get off the can.

So the tranqilizer didn't work 100 percent, because I felt them shoving a telephone pole with a camera attached up my ass.  Then I got the, "you'll feel a little puff of air" line.  Little puff?  You bastards just set off a fire extinguisher in my ass, or hooked me up to a 185 compressor!

Finally the deal is over, I get home, and guess when that air all decided to come out?  Yep--right on my couch.  THREE MINUTE NON-STOP FART.  Not farts, or string of--ONE SINGLE EXTENDED FART.

Even the dog was scared.

But, 36 stiches and minus 10 inches of colon later, I'm all better.  Whee.

 

[Full-Auto]

Aw thanks... I was going to give you an update and I got sidetracked with work details. I am also a little loopy with a good narcotic mix they gave me.

My bum is A+. I don't have to do this procedure for another 5 years.

What is it with my boobs and bum? Why is it that doctors want to probe or otherwise handle them on regular basis? 

Eh, welcome to the gang.  I'm due for my 5 year plumbing check next year... although my doc told me to go ahead and do it now if I want to.  Want to?  Who wants a snake shoved up their can all the way to the stomach?  Jesh...

I wouldn't want to be a butt doctor, but a boob doctor would be the tits!  Well, you know what I mean.

You'd still have to handle saggy old lady boobs. 

I would specialize.    I would only see patients that passed a pre-examination, or submitted pictures to my medical website.

[Schadenfreude]

Aw thanks... I was going to give you an update and I got sidetracked with work details. I am also a little loopy with a good narcotic mix they gave me.

My bum is A+. I don't have to do this procedure for another 5 years.

What is it with my boobs and bum? Why is it that doctors want to probe or otherwise handle them on regular basis? 

Eh, welcome to the gang.  I'm due for my 5 year plumbing check next year... although my doc told me to go ahead and do it now if I want to.  Want to?  Who wants a snake shoved up their can all the way to the stomach?  Jesh...

I wouldn't want to be a butt doctor, but a boob doctor would be the tits!  Well, you know what I mean.

You'd still have to handle saggy old lady boobs. 

I would specialize.    I would only see patients that passed a pre-examination, or submitted pictures to my medical website.

Pick me, pick me!  ... being uncharacteristically camera shy at the Irish Fair last weekend.   

[jtyangel]

Aw thanks... I was going to give you an update and I got sidetracked with work details. I am also a little loopy with a good narcotic mix they gave me.

My bum is A+. I don't have to do this procedure for another 5 years.

What is it with my boobs and bum? Why is it that doctors want to probe or otherwise handle them on regular basis? 

Eh, welcome to the gang.  I'm due for my 5 year plumbing check next year... although my doc told me to go ahead and do it now if I want to.  Want to?  Who wants a snake shoved up their can all the way to the stomach?  Jesh...

I wouldn't want to be a butt doctor, but a boob doctor would be the tits!  Well, you know what I mean.

You'd still have to handle saggy old lady boobs. 

I would specialize.    I would only see patients that passed a pre-examination, or submitted pictures to my medical website.

Pick me, pick me!  ... being uncharacteristically camera shy at the Irish Fair last weekend.   

Your boobers and hair look phenomenal. 

[Splashdown]

Schade just needs to stop being such a wallflower.


 :innocent:   

[RobJohnson]

I can't believe I am talking about this on a message board. 

Either can I.

 

[Schadenfreude]

I can't believe I am talking about this on a message board. 

Either can I.

 

And the peeps can't stop talking!..... Another thread success story. 

[RobJohnson]

You look 28 years old in this picture, and we all know that you are 29.

[BEG]

Aw thanks... I was going to give you an update and I got sidetracked with work details. I am also a little loopy with a good narcotic mix they gave me.

My bum is A+. I don't have to do this procedure for another 5 years.

What is it with my boobs and bum? Why is it that doctors want to probe or otherwise handle them on regular basis? 

Eh, welcome to the gang.  I'm due for my 5 year plumbing check next year... although my doc told me to go ahead and do it now if I want to.  Want to?  Who wants a snake shoved up their can all the way to the stomach?  Jesh...

I wouldn't want to be a butt doctor, but a boob doctor would be the tits!  Well, you know what I mean.

You'd still have to handle saggy old lady boobs. 

I would specialize.    I would only see patients that passed a pre-examination, or submitted pictures to my medical website.

Pick me, pick me!  ... being uncharacteristically camera shy at the Irish Fair last weekend.   

I bet you wouldn't be bending over like yesterday.  

[Schadenfreude]

I bet you wouldn't be bending over like yesterday.  

I had my little butt waving in the air, you would have been so proud. 

[Wineslob]

I'm glad to hear you've got a A+ as.....um  bum.  :innocent:

[Full-Auto]

Pick me, pick me!  ... being uncharacteristically camera shy at the Irish Fair last weekend.

Consider yourself picked!   

[DixieBelle]

I did mine 7 years ago when I had diverticulitis.  My colon had already fistulaed into my bladder (hole between the two) about a finger-width in diameter, so I was farting and pooping where I shouldn't have been.

Yes, the go-lyte solution tasted like burnt plastic dog crap, and yes, I drank the ENTIRE gallon that night before.  No, I didn't sleep, as I couldn't rest long enough between screaming shits to actually, you know, get off the can.

So the tranqilizer didn't work 100 percent, because I felt them shoving a telephone pole with a camera attached up my ass.  Then I got the, "you'll feel a little puff of air" line.  Little puff?  You bastards just set off a fire extinguisher in my ass, or hooked me up to a 185 compressor!

Finally the deal is over, I get home, and guess when that air all decided to come out?  Yep--right on my couch.  THREE MINUTE NON-STOP FART.  Not farts, or string of--ONE SINGLE EXTENDED FART.

Even the dog was scared.

But, 36 stiches and minus 10 inches of colon later, I'm all better.  Whee.

Oh my.