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Offline CC27

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A day in the life of a Republican
« on: June 15, 2017, 09:11:19 AM »
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Heartstrings (546 posts)

A day in the life of a Republican


A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A REPUBLICAN

Joe gets up at 8:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot full of good clean drinking water because some stupid bleeding heart liberal fought for minimum water quality standards.

He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some nanny state loving liberal fought to ensure their safety and work as advertised.

All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this day. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some commie liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents because some socialist liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to work; It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some snowflake liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day; He has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It's noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that
Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dad's; His car is among the safest in the world because some cry baby liberal fought for car safety standards.

He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers
didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electric until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and
demanded rural electrification (those rural Republicans would still be sitting in the dark).

He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to. After his visit with dad he gets back in his car for the ride home.

He turns on a radio talk show, the host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good (the host doesn't tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day). Joe agrees, "We don't need those big government liberals ruining our lives; After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

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Offline SVPete

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2017, 09:28:55 AM »
Did he wipe and flush after dumping that load? And call Roto-Rooter after flushing (Go there! Please, go there!)?
« Last Edit: June 15, 2017, 09:35:13 AM by SVPete »
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Offline AprilRazz

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2017, 09:34:02 AM »
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A REPUBLICAN

Joe gets up at 8:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot full of good clean drinking water because some stupid bleeding heart liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. The water in my well is maintained by me and no other. If it were up to the liberals I would have to hook up to city water.

He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some nanny state loving liberal fought to ensure their safety and work as advertised. Same thing would have happened with free markets. Not good business to kill your customer base

All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this day. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some commie liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry. No union workers in this house. Insurance was part of the employment package to entice me to work for them.

Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents because some socialist liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. Once again the free market regulates better than gov

He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to work; It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some snowflake liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor. I live 15 miles outside of town. My taxes maintain the roads

Joe begins his work day; He has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. Once again free market and companies trying to get the best employees

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune. Silly me for saving a years salary

It's noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposits federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression. It is to protect my money from liberals

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that
Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.VA guaranteed loan and GI bill here. I graduated college debt free

Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dad's; His car is among the safest in the world because some cry baby liberal fought for car safety standards. If you kill off your customers no repeat business

He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers
didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electric until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and
demanded rural electrification (those rural Republicans would still be sitting in the dark). Too bad Joe will have to sell the farm due to death taxes

He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to. After his visit with dad he gets back in his car for the ride home. The smart ones still save for retirement and live pretty well

He turns on a radio talk show, the host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good (the host doesn't tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day). Joe agrees, "We don't need those big government liberals ruining our lives; After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2017, 09:47:37 AM »
Very original.  That's only the 17,000th time a DUmmy has posted that.
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Offline USA4ME

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2017, 09:56:01 AM »
Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on June 15, 2017, 09:47:37 AM
Very original.  That's only the 17,000th time a DUmmy has posted that.

Yep. It's as if they have to repeat it to convince themselves that it's true.

We know it's not even close.

.
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Offline FlaGator

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2017, 10:10:04 AM »
Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on June 15, 2017, 09:47:37 AM
Very original.  That's only the 17,000th time a DUmmy has posted that.

And it still is one of the stupidest things I've ever read.
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Offline FiddyBeowulf

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2017, 10:35:25 AM »
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He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to work
Uh...government does not have any money that it does not take from someone else. So, the government ain't paying for squat, Joe and a bunch of other Joe's and Jane's are subsidizing the ride to work even if they do not use it.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2017, 10:36:32 AM »
Quote from: FlaGator on June 15, 2017, 10:10:04 AM
And it still is one of the stupidest things I've ever read.

It never gets smarter.  Matter of fact, it probably costs a few brain cells if read more than once per lifetime.
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Offline jukin

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2017, 10:50:12 AM »
For brevity: Republicans baaad, leftist goooood.

Simplistic terms for simplistic leftists....but I repeat myself.
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Offline SVPete

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2017, 11:06:50 AM »
Quote
... some stupid bleeding heart liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. ...

Stupid stereotype. I've never yet met a conservative who tried to make sure his/her (or anyone else's) drinking water was unsafe.I do know of a country where the UN stupidly provided arsenic-laden drinking water to about 20% of the population in the name of pure water.

Quote
His medications are safe to take because some nanny state loving liberal fought to ensure their safety and work as advertised. ...

Stupid stereotype. Actually, I believe the FDA was the creation of Republican President Teddy Roosevelt.

Quote
All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance ...

Stupid stereotype. Here in Silicon Valley, most tech employers have such health plans, and have for decades. Very few Silicon Valley tech companies are unionized (I can only think of one).

Quote
His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents because some socialist liberal fought for his right to know ...

Stupid stereotype. Actually, Truth in Advertising and similar laws were bipartisan, beginning in the Nixon Administration.

Quote
He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to work; It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees.

Well his partial honesty is refreshing. Here in Silicon Valley, public transit is about 90% subsidized. What DU-member "Heartstrings" doesn't mention is that the "savings" are illusory. What public transit riders do not pay into the fare box they pay in property taxes, gas taxes, DMV fees, and state/local income taxes. Government subsidies aren't pooped by unicorns, they come from taxpayers. Another thing DU-member "Heartstrings" doesn't mention is that taking public transportation often doubles (or worse) one's commute. And then there's security. Recent high profile crime aboard BART trains brought to light the fact that 70% (or 75%) of "security cameras" aboard BART trains are either fake or non-operational.

Quote
He has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.

Stupid stereotype. Actually, union jobs are in the minority, and in shrinking number (Look for the Sierra Club logo!).

Etc., etc., etc.. I'm surprised he didn't claim liberals invented the wheel, writing, agriculture, walking erect, and opposable thumbs.
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Offline BadCat

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2017, 11:08:30 AM »
Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on June 15, 2017, 09:47:37 AM
Very original.  That's only the 17,000th time a DUmmy has posted that.

They trot that one out every time they need a boost in their self-esteem.  17000+ is a low estimate.
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Offline SVPete

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2017, 11:14:54 AM »
Quote from: BadCat on June 15, 2017, 11:08:30 AM
They trot that one out every time they need a boost in their self-esteem.  17000+ is a low estimate.

DU-folk and like-minded Progs have had a bad week or two. First the security agency leaders testimony to the Senate blew up in their faces. Then Comey's testimony blew up in their faces. Then AG Sessions mopped the Senate floor with the Ds. And then one of their own tried to assassinate R Congress Critters.

They have to lift their flagging spirits - or flagon of spirits - somehow!
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2017, 11:22:32 AM »
Quote from: SVPete on June 15, 2017, 11:14:54 AM
DU-folk and like-minded Progs have had a bad week or two. First the security agency leaders testimony to the Senate blew up in their faces. Then Comey's testimony blew up in their faces. Then AG Sessions mopped the Senate floor with the Ds. And then one of their own tried to assassinate R Congress Critters.

They have to lift their flagging spirits - or flagon of spirits - somehow!

And now Robert Mueller is portraying Lucy . . . :whistling:
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2017, 11:47:44 AM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on June 15, 2017, 11:22:32 AM
And now Robert Mueller is portraying Lucy . . . :whistling:

Wait until Mueller starts investigating Hillary and the Clinton Crime Family Foundation.  It is within his scope of inquiry.
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Offline SVPete

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #14 on: June 15, 2017, 12:35:39 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on June 15, 2017, 11:22:32 AM
And now Robert Mueller is portraying Lucy . . . :whistling:

That brings up a dilemma question:

* Is the annoymorous-sourced WashPost story yet another story that will evaporate in the light of truth?

* Or is the OIC leaking for political effect? And if so, is the OIC a political operation hiding behind a faux-facade of "independence"?
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #15 on: June 15, 2017, 12:38:55 PM »
Quote from: Ralph Wiggum on June 15, 2017, 11:47:44 AM
Wait until Mueller starts investigating Hillary and the Clinton Crime Family Foundation.  It is within his scope of inquiry.

Ralph, Mueller hired (as investigators) Democratic donors.  Do you think they're going to find fault with a Dem?
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"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #16 on: June 15, 2017, 12:48:55 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on June 15, 2017, 12:38:55 PM
Ralph, Mueller hired (as investigators) Democratic donors.  Do you think they're going to find fault with a Dem?

Aware of the background noise.  But for comparison take Ken Starr, who was an independent counsel investigating Whitewater.  Which then turned into the Monica sillyness.
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Offline fatboy

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #17 on: June 15, 2017, 01:06:18 PM »
A day in the life of a Dummy...    :stoner:
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #18 on: June 15, 2017, 01:17:08 PM »
Quote from: fatboy on June 15, 2017, 01:06:18 PM
A day in the life of a Dummy...    :stoner:

You forgot this one . . . :jerkit:
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"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

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Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #19 on: June 15, 2017, 06:21:44 PM »
A day in the life of a dummie:

Get up at noon. Do recreational drug of choice.  Check balance on welfare card to see if it is able to procure more recreational drug of choice.  Find balance of $0.00.  Get pissed off, post stupid shit on DU.  Do more recreational drug of choice. Check out how far stash will last. Determine it won't last very long.  Get pissed off again. Post more stupid shit on DU.  Repeat until 3am and in a drug induced stupor, stumble off to pass out in bed.

The end.
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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: A day in the life of a Republican
« Reply #20 on: June 15, 2017, 06:47:16 PM »
Quote from: I_B_Perky on June 15, 2017, 06:21:44 PM
A day in the life of a dummie:

Get up at noon. Do recreational drug of choice.  Check balance on welfare card to see if it is able to procure more recreational drug of choice.  Find balance of $0.00.  Get pissed off, post stupid shit on DU.  Do more recreational drug of choice. Check out how far stash will last. Determine it won't last very long.  Get pissed off again. Post more stupid shit on DU.  Repeat until 3am and in a drug induced stupor, stumble off to pass out in bed.

The end.

Panhandle and then find cans & bottles on the side of the road.  Redeem & buy another dime bag.
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