Why in the hell does it cost him a hundred bucks to run a blog?
I have a strong suspicion that retrowire is one of those DUmmies who claims that it's impossible to live on food stamps because $194/month only buys you six organic limes and a half-pound of cruelty-free, fair-trade carrots, plus one pesticide-free tofurkey. I'm betting that he probably spends $800/month or more on food, including going out and ordering in. That can easily be knocked down to under $200/month while still having a plenty-diversified diet, and that means that the missus' medical bill goes away in two months.
Get rid of the damned dog! I love my critters more than most, but by God, if you can't afford them, you're doing them a disservice by trying to give them a home when you can't even keep your own roof over your head (literally, in this case).
You're not going to poetry-slam your way out of debt, retrowire. Go out and find your sorry ass a real job, and a real second job if you already have an actual real job. Do call center work, run the register at a convenience market (assuming you are literate enough to do so), deliver pizzas in the evenings (try not to be a dick or read your poetry at people and you'll probably make OK tips), anything, and you'll be out of most of your debt within six months or less. If you knock it down to just owing a mortgage and a student loan, even on a relatively modest income, you'll be able to at least not worry about everything all the time.