Dear DUchebags,
You have early onset brain retardation. I suspect it started around age 6-7. By now it is too late to reverse after a decade of being in an echo chamber of other "people" with brain retardation. From now on out the symptoms of "forgetting basic things" or "thinking you are smart" or "thinking republicans are DUmb" will only increase. This is a terrible disease and I am here to help.
Post a message here with your name and address and I will send you, free of charge, a "remedy" kit. This will include one brand new Harbor Freight single edge razor blade, and one set of instructions on down the street and not across the tracks (in graphics due to your mental condition). If you order in the next hour you will also receive a detailed map to your nearest interstate freeway and/or railroad tracks.
Don't worry about hurrying. This is a lifetime offer.