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Offline CC27

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This made me laugh
« on: May 01, 2017, 02:55:42 PM »
Quote
octoberlib (6,795 posts)

This made me laugh


I grabbed this from the WaPo comments section and thought it was funny



A Day in the Life of Cletus, Typical Republican:

8:00am Rise and Shine! Checks under bed for terrorists.
8:30am Breakfast (Guns, God, Grits, & Gravy)
9:00am Killed by Radical Islamic Terrorists (forgot to check pantry; got better)
10:00am AM Radio talky-box worship hour in the barn
11:00am Defends home and family from marauding horde of black girls in military-themed outfits (Berets, sashes with combat medals) and boxes of “cookies” (no charges filed. Stand your Ground!)
12:00pm Lunch (Just Grits & Gravy, still kind of full from breakfast)
1:00pm Killed by an “Illegal” (got better)
2:00pm Boss gives self large performance bonus; feel immediate economic benefit!
2:30pm Snack (Gravy)
3:00pm Send requested funds to Nigeria in anticipation of Huuuuuge returns.
3:30pm Killed by Radical Islamic Terrorists hiding behind mailbox (got better)
4:00pm Fretting and obsessing about the genital configuration and romantic, sexual, and reproductive practices of strangers.
7:00pm Dinner (Chik-Fil-A; take that, oddly irresistible perverts!)
9:00pm Roger Aisles Retirement Mourning Party
10:00pm Killed by marauding “Illegal” (Note to self; check *behind* as well as *under* recliner!; got better)
11:30pm Defends home from invasion by daughter returning from night out. (Thank God son is okay! No charges filed. Honest mistake!)

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029002330


Day in the life of a DUmmie is too easy.

Smoke pot, get up at noon, eat, post endless BS on DU, then back to sleep.

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Offline DLR Pyro

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2017, 03:13:14 PM »
Quote
octoberlib (6,795 posts)

This made me laugh


I grabbed this from the WaPo comments section and thought it was funny



A Day in the Life of Cletus, Typical Republican:

8:00am Rise and Shine! Checks under bed for terrorists.
8:30am Breakfast (Guns, God, Grits, & Gravy)
9:00am Killed by Radical Islamic Terrorists (forgot to check pantry; got better)
10:00am AM Radio talky-box worship hour in the barn
11:00am Defends home and family from marauding horde of black girls in military-themed outfits (Berets, sashes with combat medals) and boxes of “cookies” (no charges filed. Stand your Ground!)
12:00pm Lunch (Just Grits & Gravy, still kind of full from breakfast)
1:00pm Killed by an “Illegal” (got better)
2:00pm Boss gives self large performance bonus; feel immediate economic benefit!
2:30pm Snack (Gravy)
3:00pm Send requested funds to Nigeria in anticipation of Huuuuuge returns.
3:30pm Killed by Radical Islamic Terrorists hiding behind mailbox (got better)
4:00pm Fretting and obsessing about the genital configuration and romantic, sexual, and reproductive practices of strangers.
7:00pm Dinner (Chik-Fil-A; take that, oddly irresistible perverts!)
9:00pm Roger Aisles Retirement Mourning Party
10:00pm Killed by marauding “Illegal” (Note to self; check *behind* as well as *under* recliner!; got better)
11:30pm Defends home from invasion by daughter returning from night out. (Thank God son is okay! No charges filed. Honest mistake!)

and you retards keep blaming Russian interference for losing the election when you still really don't have a ****ing clue why you really lost.
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Offline SVPete

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2017, 03:18:27 PM »
Yuck it up DUdes and DUdettes! You'll find yourselves traumatized by the American voters again in 2018 and 2020.

I'll give you all some excellent advice, safe in the knowledge that if you see it, you'l reflexively reject it: Mocking the people whose vote you will need to win elections is a losing strategy.
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Offline Fourwinds

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2017, 03:21:23 PM »
Gee, that really makes me want to vote Democrat the next time around!
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Offline jukin

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #4 on: May 01, 2017, 04:47:48 PM »
Please, PLEASE< get this sentiment to the dumbocrat leadersh...rulers. This is for sure a winning strategy to get lifelong democrats back to the fol...cult.
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #5 on: May 01, 2017, 04:55:24 PM »
Doesn't look like we have to worry about them suddenly getting back in touch, and keeping the Donkeykrats from going over the cliff.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2017, 05:08:31 PM »
A Day in the Life of Stevenumbers, Typical DUmp denizen:

8:00am Rise and Shine! Fap.
8:30am Breakfast
8:32am Fap
9:00am Fap
10:00am Fap
11:00am Fap in front of girl scouts
12:00pm Lunch
12:02pm Fap
1:00pm Fap
2:00pm Fap
2:30pm Snack
2:31pm Fap
3:00pm Fap
3:30pm Fap
4:00pm Obsessing about the genital configuration and romantic, sexual, and reproductive practices of strangers. (while fapping)
7:00pm Dinner
7:02pm Fap
9:00pm Fap
10:00pm Fap
11:30pm Fap
« Last Edit: May 01, 2017, 05:12:48 PM by BattleHymn »
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2017, 05:15:10 PM »
A Day in the Life of Tobin, Typical DUmp denizen:

8:00am Rise and Shine! 
8:01am Breakfast
8:59 Put on fresh overalls
9:00am After breakfast snack
10:00am After after breakfast snack
11:00am RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM
12:00pm Lunch
1:00pm After lunch snack
2:00pm Brunch
2:30pm RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM
2:31pm RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM
3:00pm Snack
3:30pm RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM
4:00pm RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM RAM
7:00pm Dinner
7:02pm Supper
9:00pm Beer
10:00pm Beer
11:30pm Beer
« Last Edit: May 01, 2017, 05:18:40 PM by BattleHymn »
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Offline Crazy Horse

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2017, 06:03:43 PM »
 Please everyone keep making fun of rednecks you'll soon find out that we for outnumber you.
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Offline Movie buff- The Sequel

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #9 on: May 01, 2017, 06:59:36 PM »
Kepp right on spewing your hatred, bigotry, and straw- men about everyone who disagrees with you, DUmmies. Then, whenever you lose an election, just blame it all on the Russians. After all, it's not like crap like this causes the majority of the American people to see you as a bunch of bigoted, hateful, condescending elitist pricks or anything.
Do Girl Scouts even sell/ deliver cookies door to door anymore? I thought they discontinued that years ago (Largely for safety reasons) in favor of selling them in front of public areas like grocery stores and whatnot.
As you guys have observed, it would be even easier to describe a typical DUmmy's day. Sleep until noon, spew hatred and madness on DU, eat meals of kale and tofu so they can then smugly brag on DU about how "Health conscious" they are compared to those horrible non- vegans, find time to be rude and nasty to everyone they know who disagrees with them on anything, and of course get really stoned.
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Offline thundley4

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #10 on: May 01, 2017, 07:06:12 PM »
Quote from: Crazy Horse on May 01, 2017, 06:03:43 PM
Please everyone keep making fun of rednecks you'll soon find out that we for outnumber you.

Liberals think rednecks are defined by location and education levels.  They couldn't be more wrong.
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Offline FunkyZero

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #11 on: May 01, 2017, 11:49:05 PM »
Quote
octoberlib (6,795 posts)

This made me laugh


I grabbed this from the WaPo comments section and thought it was funny



A Day in the Life of Cletus, Typical Republican:

8:00am Rise and Shine! Checks under bed for terrorists.
8:30am Breakfast (Guns, God, Grits, & Gravy)
9:00am Killed by Radical Islamic Terrorists (forgot to check pantry; got better)
10:00am AM Radio talky-box worship hour in the barn
11:00am Defends home and family from marauding horde of black girls in military-themed outfits (Berets, sashes with combat medals) and boxes of “cookies” (no charges filed. Stand your Ground!)
12:00pm Lunch (Just Grits & Gravy, still kind of full from breakfast)
1:00pm Killed by an “Illegal” (got better)
2:00pm Boss gives self large performance bonus; feel immediate economic benefit!
2:30pm Snack (Gravy)
3:00pm Send requested funds to Nigeria in anticipation of Huuuuuge returns.
3:30pm Killed by Radical Islamic Terrorists hiding behind mailbox (got better)
4:00pm Fretting and obsessing about the genital configuration and romantic, sexual, and reproductive practices of strangers.
7:00pm Dinner (Chik-Fil-A; take that, oddly irresistible perverts!)
9:00pm Roger Aisles Retirement Mourning Party
10:00pm Killed by marauding “Illegal” (Note to self; check *behind* as well as *under* recliner!; got better)
11:30pm Defends home from invasion by daughter returning from night out. (Thank God son is okay! No charges filed. Honest mistake!)

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029002330

How stupid are they?
The dead giveaway is that they were sold this line of bullshit and believe it is absolute.
I wonder if they will every figure out why they lost?
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Offline tuolumnejim

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2017, 12:50:18 AM »
Quote from: SVPete on May 01, 2017, 03:18:27 PM
Yuck it up DUdes and DUdettes! You'll find yourselves traumatized by the American voters again in 2018 and 2020.

I'll give you all some excellent advice, safe in the knowledge that if you see it, you'l reflexively reject it: Mocking the people whose vote you will need to win elections is a losing strategy.
Yeah I'm pretty sure the hildabeast found that out.  :-)
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Offline FiddyBeowulf

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2017, 07:11:27 AM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on May 01, 2017, 05:08:31 PM
A Day in the Life of Stevenumbers, Typical DUmp denizen:

8:00am Rise and Shine! Fap.
8:30am Breakfast
8:32am Fap
9:00am Fap
10:00am Fap
11:00am Fap in front of girl scouts
12:00pm Lunch
12:02pm Fap
1:00pm Fap
2:00pm Fap
2:30pm Snack
2:31pm Fap
3:00pm Fap
3:30pm Fap
4:00pm Obsessing about the genital configuration and romantic, sexual, and reproductive practices of strangers. (while fapping)
7:00pm Dinner
7:02pm Fap
9:00pm Fap
10:00pm Fap
11:30pm Fap
I call   :bs:. The only DUmmies that are up at 8 AM are the ones who have not gone to bed yet.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #14 on: May 02, 2017, 07:57:50 AM »
Quote from: tuolumnejim on May 02, 2017, 12:50:18 AM
Yeah I'm pretty sure the hildabeast found that out.  :-)

But she didn't change her behavior . . . and neither did any single Democratic. :whistling:
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Offline SVPete

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2017, 08:05:17 AM »
Quote from: tuolumnejim on May 02, 2017, 12:50:18 AM
Yeah I'm pretty sure the hildabeast found that out.  :-)

She experienced it, but I doubt she'd acknowledge it this side of eternity.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2017, 12:21:08 PM »
Quote from: FiddyBeowulf on May 02, 2017, 07:11:27 AM
I call   :bs:. The only DUmmies that are up at 8 AM are the ones who have not gone to bed yet.

Well, that's why I picked stevenumbers and Tubby Tobin to pick on.  Tubby Tobin is RAM RAM RAMming around by at least noon or so, and even perpetually erect stevenumbers can't fap in his sleep, so waking hours only on that.
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Offline Karin

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2017, 05:31:13 PM »
Excellent.  Keep it up. 
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Offline Adam Wood

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #18 on: May 05, 2017, 01:53:13 AM »
Now run out and vote Democrat, Middle America!  As you can see, this is the party who is looking out for your interests!
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Offline landofconfusion80

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Re: This made me laugh
« Reply #19 on: May 05, 2017, 11:53:24 AM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on May 02, 2017, 12:21:08 PM
Well, that's why I picked stevenumbers and Tubby Tobin to pick on.  Tubby Tobin is RAM RAM RAMming around by at least noon or so, and even perpetually erect stevenumbers can't fap in his sleep, so waking hours only on that.
Sure he isn't multitasking for breakfast lunch and dinner? Might explain him getting tossed out of shoneys

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One Who Grows (244 posts)
20. absolute bullshit. the cave is unspeakably vile.

I don't know how any of you can live with yourselves.

:)
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