Maybe I'll give him a call tomorrow, and see how he's doing.

"This is the Suicide Hotline. Do you need any help with that?"
"Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, have someone press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mothership.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press, no one will be here to answer your call.
Thank you and have a nice day!"