Wee Willie Pitt 10/30/16, with hit by a rock memories

[Ralph Wiggum]

http://www.truth-out.org/opinion/item/38171-rocks-and-sewage-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-2016

Nada mucho about Hillary's latest scandal.  But many of us recall this incident.

On my way home, I stopped at the 7-11 to grab something easy to eat. On a whim, I chose a can of Chef Boy R' Dee beef ravioli, the comfort food of my youth. I eschewed a bag and carried it in my hand down the Southwest Corridor to my old, drafty apartment building. I was gripping the can as if I could tear it open with my fingernails as I tried to figure out how I was going to write about all this. In the words of Tyler Durden, I wanted to breathe smoke. I wanted to break rocks with a hammer. As it turned out, a rock almost broke me.

I came to the back door of my building and went for my keys. At that moment, a shadow among the shadows detached itself from the far wall of the alley and the side of my face suddenly exploded in pain. I went down on my knees as a large chunk of sidewalk pavement clattered to the ground. The shadow moved closer, sensing easy prey after having bashed me with a rock. At that moment, I rose to my feet with a martial howl that sent the shadow scampering. I chased him down the block brandishing the ravioli can like a war club until I realized that running hurt because my face had been smashed, so I stopped. The shadow escaped, but I still have the rock and the ravioli can.

The cops came -- my shouting probably woke the whole neighborhood -- along with an ambulance, and they checked me out while taking my story. One cop was particularly diligent as he scribbled in his pad -- "So it was beef ravioli, not cheese ravioli, right?" -- until they finally let me go home to my couch and some ice packs and a deep curiosity about what the hell could be next. After the swelling went down, I went back to my bar with the paving stone and a story to tell. After I finished, Mike the chef said, "I read that in the paper!" Sure enough, there it was in the Boston Herald police blotter: "Man Foils Mugging With Beef Ravioli." The cop took good notes.

[98ZJUSMC]

 

[CollectivismMustDie]

I guess he'd approve of the hoyts can of beans strategy then.





CMD

[Bad Dog]

More likely scenario, he's stumbling home drunk, fails to negotiate his steps and smashes his face on the sidewalk.  People hear his drunken ranting & call the cops.  Best story he can come up with to explain the ravioli is the assailant.

[Karin]

The ravioli story is one of my favorites!  A true classic.   

[DumbAss Tanker]

Ol' Willie Bill has been on silent running since the words 'Child,' 'Sexting,' 'Internet,' and 'Investigation' all got tied together in this thing.

[SVPete]

That must be plagiarized! No B-52-sized load of F-bombs in it!

[Gina]

More likely scenario, he's stumbling home drunk, fails to negotiate his steps and smashes his face on the sidewalk.  People hear his drunken ranting & call the cops.  Best story he can come up with to explain the ravioli is the assailant.

that's what I thought

[Gina]

btw, there's a great show called "Shameless".  Pitt reminds me of Frank.

[Ralph Wiggum]

btw, there's a great show called "Shameless".  Pitt reminds me of Frank.

Yes, excellent show!  However, despite being a deplorable person, you almost root for Frank to do well on the show.