CalPig has some Competition

[Karin]

Oh my Dear Lord in Heaven:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027963238

Tue Jun 28, 2016, 05:47 AM

ellenrr (3,650 posts)

Awesome Texas Abortion Testimony Poetry: ‘If My Vagina Was a Gun’
   
Hundreds of women and men have testified at the Texas Capitol both for and against SB 1, which would restrict most abortions after 20 weeks and close all but five abortion clinics in the state. But only one woman performed an epic poem, entitled "If My Vagina Was a Gun."

Here's the transcript of the work of art, performed by Katie Helm:
(excerpt)
If my vagina was a gun, you would stand for its rights,

You would ride on buses and fight all the fights.

If my vagina was a gun, you would treat it with care,

You wouldn’t spill all its secrets because, well, why go there.

...
http://jezebel.com/awesome-texas-abortion-testimony-poetry-if-my-vagina-717474146

Stupid beyond belief.  Another snippet:

Vaginas are not delicate, they are muscular and magic/So stop messing with mine, with legislation that’s tragic

The DUmmies responses were nondescript, so I went to Jezebel:

StrummerBoyKatie J.M. Baker
7/09/13 10:54am

You may also be able to substitute "gun" with "corporation."

   Retard.  I see this is from 2013. 

WaeGookKatie J.M. Baker
7/09/13 12:12pm

Jezzies, I need help coming up with protest posters for Moral Monday next week in NC, anyone have any good ones??? I will definitely be quoting this song/poem when making my posters.

I think I'll use: "If my vagina was a gun, its rights would all be protected, no matter the body count or the children affected."

Also front runners:

"If I wanted the government in my vagina, I'd F#*& a Senator!"

"Keep your theology off my biology" (seems kinda tame now)

A giant coat hanger shaped sign saying "Your 'women's health' argument is .. (image of large male cow taking a crap) and you know it!"

And (not quite sure how to make this work, any photoshop whizzes out there??) a giant vulva shaped poster with Sen. Warren Daniels (he's the main backer) head crowing with the words "Get out and stay out!!"

They actually think this stuff is brilliant. 

[Carl]

A right that is actually spelled out in the Second Amendment is meaningless but a conjured one is sacrosanct.

That is the world of the left and why they are so dangerous to freedom.

[SVPete]

I'd like to think that when Kermit Gosnell's younger brother kills one of their loved ones they'd see the light, but I'm sure they'd find a way to blame Catholics and Fundies.

[Big Dog]

If the DUmmy's vagina was a gun, she'd walk funny.

[DumbAss Tanker]

CalPig would snort derisively and dismiss it as mere doggerel, because unlike her Vogon-inspired verse, it actually rhymes.

[BlueStateSaint]

CalPig would snort derisively and dismiss it as mere doggerel, because unlike her Vogon-inspired verse, it actually rhymes.

Speaking of Vogon poetry . . .

See, see the loving sky
 Marvel at its big pink depths.
 Tell me, greg do you
 Wonder why the sloth ignores you?
 Why its foobly stare
 makes you feel tired.
 I can tell you, it is
 Worried by your xyhermy facial growth
 That looks like
 A milk
 What's more, it knows
 Your squirt potting shed
 Smells of booger.
 Everything under the big loving sky
 Asks why, why do I even bother?
 You only charm rectum.

Courtesy of http://tonybaldwin.me/pages/vogon.php