http://www.theonion.com/content/whitehousewar/barackobamaBarack Obama Issues:
Pro-hopes, also supports dreams
Favorite Way To Mollify Supporters:
Nodding solemnly while gripping podium
Political Experience:
(2005–) Junior Senator from Illinois. Working directly under Senior Senator Richard Durbin himself, duties included fact-checking and copyediting the 2006 highway appropriations amendment bill. Member, Illinois State Senate (1997-2004)
Odds Of Pop-Locking During Inauguration:
1 in 12
Personal Best For Getting Digits:
32 seconds
Difficulty Catching A Cab:
Moderate