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Author Topic: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****  (Read 2049 times)

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Offline BattleHymn

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****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« on: April 26, 2016, 04:07:19 PM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018861310

The thread title says it all:

Quote
Tue Apr 26, 2016, 01:36 PM
Kaleva (15,084 posts)

****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****

My last solid food was yesterday. Been giving myself shots in the gut twice a day for two days now. I made the "drink" today and it's in the fridge ready for tomorrow.

Quote
Tue Apr 26, 2016, 01:38 PM
Star Member Aristus (36,693 posts)
1. Is this your first time?

I used to work in a colonoscopy clinic. If you have any questions, I'll try to answer them.

Quote
ue Apr 26, 2016, 04:45 PM
Star Member Major Nikon (21,977 posts)
12. Towards the end you'll wish you had just stuck a garden hose up your ass

Quote
Tue Apr 26, 2016, 01:47 PM
cantbeserious (12,510 posts)
4. Mine Went Extremely Well Last Year

eom

Quote
Tue Apr 26, 2016, 01:50 PM
Star Member Hoyt (25,356 posts)
5. The stuff I had really wasn't that bad. Plus, an occasional colon cleanse is in order.

I was careful for several days not to eat a lot of food that lingers in one's intestines before I got serious.

Plus, the anesthesia/sleep part is enjoyable. Good luck.

Because anesthesia is like a liquid pill!!

Quote
Tue Apr 26, 2016, 04:18 PM
Star Member Hoyt (25,356 posts)
10. I read somewhere that John Wayne died with 45 pounds of feces in his intestines. Of course, he

had cancer, and probably a serious case of the affliction advertised by drug companies nowadays -- opioid induced constipation.

I feel good with a clean colon, light and fast. In fact, I was quite proud when the gastroenterologist said "I had the cleanest colon he's seen" after my colonoscopy.  Despite what some think, I am not anal retentive.

Quote
Tue Apr 26, 2016, 04:25 PM
Star Member Aristus (36,693 posts)
11. That's an urban legend.

There's no way anyone could retain 45 pounds of anything in their colon without suffering colon-wall perforation and probably a nasty death. And if it was possible, it's not the kind of thing that could have an occult presentation, discoverable only on autopsy. He would have had to have had a massively-distended abdomen, and he would have been in very visible, distressing chronic pain.

Although I despise John Wayne and everything he claimed to stand for, I think this story is the invention of someone opposed to meat-eating who wished to assert that Wayne got what he deserved (whatever that might be.)

Somehow, I trust the primitives and their knowledge of any colon wall perforation.  I'm sure some of them have, er, stories. 
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Offline USA4ME

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2016, 04:10:24 PM »
Quote from:
Hoyt

In fact, I was quite proud when the gastroenterologist said "I had the cleanest colon he's seen" after my colonoscopy.

Given the crap that comes out of this gun grabbers mouth, why am I not surprised?

.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2016, 04:32:14 PM »
Quote from: USA4ME on April 26, 2016, 04:10:24 PM
Given the crap that comes out of this gun grabbers mouth, why am I not surprised?

.

H5 for that!
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Offline zeitgeist

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2016, 04:35:46 PM »
I am not sure the primitive understood exactly what his doctor meant when he said  "I've never seen such a perfect asshole". :fuelfire:

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Offline DUmpsterDiver

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2016, 05:42:24 PM »
Most DUmmies will need an extra week to dislodge the narco tablet induced stickation.   Most of the DUmmy males will not need the full week due to douche their colon because of the big spooge hosing they get from ManyStongOpagueMen.
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Offline CollectivismMustDie

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2016, 06:37:12 PM »
Quote
Hoyt

In fact, I was quite proud when the gastroenterologist said "I had the cleanest colon he's seen" after my colonoscopy.

I don't believe it. (D)Ummies lie. Plus, if there is anyone more full of shit than hoyt (besides obozo), I've never encountered them.


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Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2016, 07:21:50 PM »
Hope you gave the waste water plant a notice that they are going to have a massive inflow.
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Offline SVPete

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2016, 08:00:59 PM »
1. Why in H are they discussing this publicly? Geesh!

2. This comment made me laugh:

Quote
ue Apr 26, 2016, 04:45 PM
Star Member Major Nikon (21,977 posts)
12. Towards the end you'll wish you had just stuck a garden hose up your ass

He's right,  :whistling:
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Offline Carl

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2016, 08:09:06 PM »
Quote
Tue Apr 26, 2016, 01:36 PM
Kaleva (15,084 posts)

****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****

My last solid food was yesterday. Been giving myself shots in the gut twice a day for two days now. I made the "drink" today and it's in the fridge ready for tomorrow.

What?  :o
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Offline jukin

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #9 on: April 27, 2016, 11:42:59 AM »
Early in my career I worked for a couple of endoscopic camera companies. We always called the black snake the "Rear Endoscope."
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Offline Patriot Guard Rider

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #10 on: April 27, 2016, 04:40:08 PM »
Quote
Star Member Major Nikon (21,977 posts)
12. Towards the end you'll wish you had just stuck a garden hose up your ass

Given the tendencies of the DUmmie males, I think they'd enjoy that. Maybe throw in a gerbil for good luck. Or something.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #11 on: April 27, 2016, 04:41:19 PM »
Quote
Star Member Major Nikon (21,977 posts)
12. Towards the end you'll wish you had just stuck a garden hose up your ass
#CubanHealthCare
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Offline Karin

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #12 on: April 28, 2016, 02:30:36 PM »
Quote from: zeitgeist on April 26, 2016, 04:35:46 PM
I am not sure the primitive understood exactly what his doctor meant when he said  "I've never seen such a perfect asshole". :fuelfire:

 :lmao:  H5!

I don't know about that shots in the gut thing, either. 

And I don't need to hear some DUmmie talk about how his colon is so light and airy now. 
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #13 on: April 29, 2016, 11:05:12 AM »
Quote
Hoyt

In fact, I was quite proud when the gastroenterologist said "I had the cleanest colon he's seen" after my colonoscopy.

Not surprising.

DUmmy Hoyt uses it for brains.
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Offline Fourwinds

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Re: ****Official Colonoscopy Prep Thread****
« Reply #14 on: April 29, 2016, 01:09:44 PM »
For some reason I thought this would be about a DU purge or their memorial thread.
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