Hey, WillyT.
Yeah, you, you worthless piece of shit.
You’re not leader of the Bernie bullies any more, having exhausted Skins’ patience and
noblesse oblige towards those less fortunate than him, but for whatever reasons, I still feel a “need†to yell at you; probably because you’re such a sucker, it’s just a lot of fun.
There’s not much going on this week, WillyT; the Republicans caucus in North Dakota on Friday, but that seems to be about it, if memory serves me correctly.
Dude, I got a question. A serious question. And I think you need to answer it, not only for my sake, but for the illumination of those primitives who so blindly follow you, and the primitives supportive of the worthier candidate.
What was it, exactly, that turned you against Messalina Agrippina?
Why this rather rude lack of gratitude towards someone who gave you much?- - - - - - - - - -
You’ve been around a long time, dude, since 1955, and probably like your mentor Skippy cast your first vote for president in 1976, for what’s-his-name who ended up being the worst president in the history of the United States, until recently.
So you’ve been through quite a number of presidents.
In 1992, the Democrats, liberals, and primitives were a disheartened group, having been shut out of the White House for twelve years, and given the success of the War for the Liberation of Kuwait in 1991, for a while there it looked as if you’d be shut out for yet another four years.
But during your darkest hours, suddenly appeared Messalina Agrippina.
You know the rest of the story, dude; how she got her husband elected president not once but twice, and all those things she accomplished during his eight years in office. You guys were rolling in clover, getting everything and anything you wanted.
She even gave you unlimited abortions.
You were given it all; to normal people, it seemed as if there wasn’t anything more that you’d want.
Apparently we underestimated the sheer greed of Democrats, liberals, and primitives; they had it all, but they wanted more, more even than what all existed to give them.
Dude, the lady gave you all there was to give; so why the ingratitude?
- - - - - - - - - -
You know, dude, once in a while like the late Martin Luther King, franksolich has a dream; a dream about justice finally descending upon the world.
The other night, I had such a dream, in which you getting your just deserts was the topic. I dreamed Methuselah had won the presidency—something likely to happen only in franksolich’s dreams—and was getting ready to give all sorts of free stuff to those who’d supported him.
Now, being of the opposite political party, franksolich had no “in†with Santa Bernie, but just as in real life, when I need something, even from someone who doesn’t like me, I always know someone who knows someone who knows someone—in this case, someone who knew someone who knew someone who had the ear of Methuselah.
- - - - - - - - - -
Per my request, in my dream the following telephone conversation took place:
Santa Bernie [in the Oval Office]: Hey, dude? How the Hell are you? How’s it hanging?
fofofofs [friend of friend of friend of franksolich]: Pretty good man, but I gotta ask something from you; something you need to do for franksolich.
Santa Bernie: Hey, how’s frank doing these days? I don’t imagine he’s too happy, being on the losing side, but I’m sure he’ll get over it. frank’s a class act, a good man, and one can’t keep a good man down. I always wished he were on our side instead of the other, especially since most of what we got are lazy fat guys idly biding time until the undertaker’s ready.
fofofofs: frank’s about as fine as he can be, man; he had that massive heart attack last May, and recovered very well, but he’s turned other-worldly, making people nervous, thinking he might suddenly slip away; here today, gone tomorrow.
Santa Bernie: That’s too bad for the good of humanity, but as you know, every night we each and all pitch our tent one day’s march nearer the mausoleum. What can I do for frank?
fofofofs: Well, there’s this guy, WillyT; you know him.
Santa Bernie: Yeah, Skippy’s stooge; the leader of the bullies on Skins’s island until he was kicked off for his rudeness. That was quite a sacrifice he made on my behalf, and I’m sure he expects to be suitably rewarded. I suppose we can; what’s frank want done for him?
fofofofs: Actually, frank doesn’t want a damned thing given to him. You see, when someone gives WillyT things, he’s ungrateful, and turns on them. Look at all the goodies he got from Messalina Agrippina, and despite all that largesse, he turned on her, supporting you instead. This guy has no sense of gratitude.
Santa Bernie: Oh.
fofofofs: So you shouldn’t give him anything, because no matter how much you give him, he’s going to turn on you.
- - - - - - - - -
Santa Bernie: Okay, if frank thinks so, we won’t give WillyT anything.
fofofofs: Good, but that’s not all frank wants. Besides not giving WillyT anything, he also thinks you need to take things he already has, away from him, so he’ll learn to be grateful for what other people give him.
Santa Bernie: No problem; what’s he want me to take away from him?
fofofofs: frank thinks he needs to be fired from his soft easy secure overpaid position as a file clerk for the state of California, but then as he doesn’t want WillyT to starve, frank thinks he should be hired to work as a file clerk for the state of Nebraska.
Santa Bernie: But how’s that take anything away from him?
fofofofs: File clerks for the state of Nebraska don’t make near the money, or get near the benefits, that file clerks for the state of California get. And they’re expected to work harder, to produce more, than surfer boys.
Santa Bernie: How much do they make?
fofofofs: Out in California, WillyT’s making damned near $39,000 a year…..in a job that demands no special education, no special skills. frank’s not sure, as it’s been thirty years since he worked for the state of Nebraska—although as something quite a bit more than file clerk—but based upon what file clerks were being paid back then, frank assumes they’re probably getting $12,000 a year now; it’s just not a job that demands much.
Santa Bernie: Well, yes, I suppose that would take a big chunk out of what WilyT has. But I’m president of the United States, with no authority over employment by the states. What can I do?
fofofofs: Well, true, you don’t have that official authority, but what governor of what state’s going to ignore a, uh, personal request from the president of the United States?
Santa Bernie: Okay, tell frank I’ll take care of it.
fofofofs: Yeah; I surely hope it teaches ungrateful jerks to be grateful to those who give them things.
