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Author Topic: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone  (Read 4357 times)

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Offline Mr Mannn

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Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« on: January 27, 2016, 10:00:40 AM »
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/car-crash/pantless-man-in-fatal-crash-639205
Cops: Pantsless Motorist Killed In Crash Was Masturbating While Watching Porn Flick On His Phone

Quote
A Detroit man who died early Sunday in a one-car crash was pantsless and masturbating while watching a pornographic movie on his cell phone, according to police who investigated the accident.

The rollover crash occurred around 3:40 AM as motorist Clifford Ray Jones, 58, was driving a 1996 Toyota on a freeway near Interstate 75.

Michigan State Police officials report that Jones became "distracted" while watching the film and lost control of the car, which overturned. Jones, who was not wearing a seat belt, was partially ejected through the car’s sun roof and died on the scene,

Accident investigators discovered that Jones, who was alone in the Toyota, was not wearing pants at the time of the crash.

let the puns begin...
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2016, 10:57:55 AM »
So, coming and going.
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Offline FlaGator

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2016, 05:27:42 PM »
I think I was married to his sister years ago.
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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2016, 10:06:16 PM »
What is his DU name?
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2016, 10:49:22 PM »
Quote from: Ptarmigan on January 27, 2016, 10:06:16 PM
What is his DU name?

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

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Government is the negation of liberty.
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Offline SVPete

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2016, 07:51:25 AM »
Sooooo ... going blind was just the starter?
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2016, 07:54:18 AM »
He was on his way to a killer orgasm . . . :whistling:
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"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

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Offline Fourwinds

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2016, 09:18:15 AM »
Well that's one way to be remembered.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2016, 09:34:51 AM by Fourwinds »
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2016, 09:31:08 AM »
Eulogy: "He died doing what he loved."
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Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2016, 10:54:58 AM »
In honor of his memory we won't be having a funeral for him...

...we'll just watch videos of other people's funerals.
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Offline Lacarnut

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2016, 07:22:41 PM »
He shot his last load.
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Offline CollectivismMustDie

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2016, 01:00:07 AM »
La petite mort.  :rofl:


Its a french euphemism for orgasm which actually means the little death.


 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:


CMD



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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2016, 09:29:04 PM »
Quote from: Big Dog on January 27, 2016, 10:49:22 PM
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!



How about rabbit dinner?

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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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Allow enemies their space to hate; they will destroy themselves in the process.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2016, 11:12:07 PM »
Quote from: Ptarmigan on January 29, 2016, 09:29:04 PM
How about rabbit dinner?



I've never heard of "choking the rabbit", but I don't hang around with ptarmigans.
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Government is the negation of liberty.
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CAVE FVROREM PATIENTIS.

Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2016, 05:57:06 PM »
Quote from: CollectivismMustDie on January 29, 2016, 01:00:07 AM
La petite mort.  :rofl:


Its a french euphemism for orgasm which actually means the little death.


 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:


CMD

It was a pretty big death, no? :whistling:
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"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline CollectivismMustDie

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Re: Pantless man dies in one car crash whilst watching Porn on Phone
« Reply #15 on: January 31, 2016, 11:29:13 PM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on January 31, 2016, 05:57:06 PM
It was a pretty big death, no? :whistling:


He will never tell.


CMD
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"Be not intimidated... nor suffer yourselves to be wheedled out of your liberties by any pretense of politeness, delicacy, or decency. These, as they are often used, are but three different names for hypocrisy, chicanery and cowardice." - John Adams

Hillary Clinton will never be the President of the United States.
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