DUmmy learned about sex at construction sites...blames the USA

[BannedFromDU]

chalmers (285 posts)

Porn has ruined my relationships with women (It's the other way around for me.)


My parents never gave me "the talk" (then why not blame THEM, you stupid moron?) so I learned about sex through pornographic magazines that I found at construction sites  (Yeah, it's a little-known fact in the Grainger catalog is a section of dirty magazines. Right next to the gojo hand cleaner. I mean, COME ON. You wandered around construction sites looking for PORN? ) left behind by the workers ("OK, honey, you have your thermos and your lunchbox? Wear your hardhat...I don't want to visit you in the emergency room later. And you better put sunscreen on. I'll have dinner waiting for you when you get home. Oh, wait, one more thing: do you have your porn?" ). Of course those images created an idealized unrealistic image of women in my young mind. (Compared to DUmmy chicks? Agreed.) So much so that I often turned down the advances of females in high school (Those weren't women, those were girls.) whom I felt didn't live up to that sexy, voluptuous standard (The you're either a sexist or a homo, or both, because any girl that made an advance on me in high school had so much pipe laid in her that the county started charging her property tax). These were women who probably liked me but I rejected them because I felt they were not attractive enough by the standard set by porn. (And they probably had confusing genitals...nothing that would fit up your butt.)

Something really needs to be done about sex education in this country (no, just your house) and the puritanical standards that don't allow people to openly talk about sexual relationships needs to be set aside for a more enlightened approach (like wandering around construction sites looking for dirty magazines, right?) to this biological issue which is ingrained in us all.

Cool story, bro.


Oh my heavens. DUmmies, if you're trying to make a point about something, can you at least try to make yourselves not look so creepy and nasty and stupid in the process?

[thundley4]

Seriously? Blaming porn for unrealistic expectations of women? Look at any fashion rag or magazine directed to women.

Even their supposed everyday moms make the DUmmies look like bedraggled Muslim abused goats.

[DLR Pyro]

chalmers (285 posts)

Porn has ruined my relationships with women

so this is your excuse for turning gay?

[BannedFromDU]

Seriously? Blaming porn for unrealistic expectations of women? Look at any fashion rag or magazine directed to women.

Even their supposed everyday moms make the DUmmies look like bedraggled Muslim abused goats.

     No kidding. Men's mags photoshop moles and birthmarks off of tits. Women's mags make their thighs and arms skinnier. Adolescent girls read women's mags, not men's mags. Female body issues and shaming come from other women, not men.

[Maverick1987]

Oh my heavens. DUmmies, if you're trying to make a point about something, can you at least try to make yourselves not look so creepy and nasty and stupid in the process?

Unpossible

...because any girl that made an advance on me in high school had so much pipe laid in her that the county started charging her property tax

 

Banned, you have a way with words.  Thank you for your contributions here 

[Big Dog]

What a homo.

[BannedFromDU]

What a homo.

     Pithy.

     Brevity is the soul of wit.
     

[BannedFromDU]

Banned, you have a way with words.  Thank you for your contributions here 

     That is highly kind of you, my man. I writes 'em like I sees 'em, is all. The Dummies are infinite ridicule conception. It's just too easy.

[Carl]

In other words they just seized his home computer and he is at a library setting up a defense for what they are going to find.

[Big Dog]

     Pithy.

     Brevity is the soul of wit.
   

You really hit it out of the park with that line about laying pipe.

Well done!

[BannedFromDU]

You really hit it out of the park with that line about laying pipe.

Well done!

     It's a challenge to keep my brethren amused with new material. All in a day's work.

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

Apart from a few of their more pathetic specimens the OP is being roundly mocked.

[Big Dog]

     It's a challenge to keep my brethren amused with new material. All in a day's work.

I understand. I will sometimes try new material here before I use it on the ray-de-oh. I also poach good material here to use on the air- with attribution, of course.

[BannedFromDU]

I understand. I will sometimes try new material here before I use it on the ray-de-oh. I also poach good material here to use on the air- with attribution, of course.

     Let me know if I'm ever lucky enough to hit the big time.

[landofconfusion80]

     Let me know if I'm ever lucky enough to hit the big time.

Judging by his pipe laying comment..... you'll feel it

[dixierose]

In other words they just seized his home computer and he is at a library setting up a defense for what they are going to find.

H^5.

 

[Big Dog]

     Let me know if I'm ever lucky enough to hit the big time.

Count on it! My six loyal listeners will laugh their asses off.

[SVPete]

  I think this is a  , and not a very good one. Unless this character is a sexagenarian (pun not intended) or older, didn't he have sex-ed in junior high (or earlier)? I'm just over 60 and we did.

  Unless his school days pre-date the mid-late 60s, girls' skirts, dresses, and pants ... at school and in the malls/stores ... . Whatever he saw in magazines, he would have seen reality rather clearly and plainly, almost every day for years.

Whatever kind of perv or misfit he became, the responsibility is his. And he won't get any better until he accepts that responsibility.

[I_B_Perky]

...because any girl that made an advance on me in high school had so much pipe laid in her that the county started charging her property tax

 

Now that there was funny... don't care who ya are!!!

H5 Banned.  You made me LOL!

[98ZJUSMC]

Peace, Love, Dope!

[Movie buff- The Sequel]

One of the far Left's more insidious goals is to sexualize children at increasingly younger ages, which seems to be what the DUmmy's promoting here.
What he talks about doesn't really seem to do with not having proper sexual education, but more to do with not having a healthy mental image of what women's bodies should be like, which I think is a rather different matter.
Still, he ignores that fact and uses it to attack those of us who have enough of a sense of decency and decorum that we don't like talking about sex in the lewd, shameless, obsessive kinds of ways that the Left does.

Peace, Love, Dope!

People like this DUmmy believe that third graders should have mandatory sex ed classes which would include mandatory field trips to events like that.

[Big Dog]

Peace, Love, Dope!

That looks like a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon, but why are they wearing headset mics?

[Zathras]

     Pithy.

     Brevity is the soul of wit.
   

Well, that explains why Pittstain's writings are so long and rambling.

[BlueStateSaint]

Well, that explains why Pittstain's writings are so long and rambling.

His are 'half pithy.'

[Duke Nukum]

I don't know how old this Chalmers primitive is but it seems to me that all of America got a free and Progressive sex ed course when Clinton occupied the White House whether we wanted it or not.