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lapislzi (5,226 posts) I made a racially insensitive remark at workAs soon as the words came out of my mouth, I realized what a complete idiot I am. How I could possibly have thought such a remark would not be perceived for exactly what it was: insulting. The person about whom I was speaking was understandably deeply offended and angry. I immediately apologized, verbally and in writing. She was having none of it. That is clearly her prerogative. Naturally I was called into the CEO's office and presented with a written warning which will never, ever go away. Apparently I am lucky to still have a job, and it's only because the CEO chose not to comply with the offended person's demand that I be fired. The fact that I have been with the company for almost two decades and am a "key player" makes not one bit of difference, nor should it. The fact that I've never said or done anything remotely like this before matters not at all. The fact that other offensive speech (of which there's quite a bit) in our office goes unchallenged, is of no consequence. I said it; I own it; and I will pay for it for the rest of my life. I have never wished more for a "rewind" button to pull those words back into my mouth. I'm not "that person" (even if for a moment I was). I've tried very hard to educate myself from a racist upbringing not to be "that person." My question to DUers is: how, over time, can I demonstrate my goodwill and atone for my error? Is there anything at all that can be done, now or in the future, to make amends to this person (without seeming like a disgusting suck-up)? Obviously, "think before you open your big mouth" is at the top of that list. You can be sure I'll be hiding under a rock for the next million years, so my mere presence doesn't give offense. If DU thinks I deserve further excoriation, then bring it. This is not about my comfort level, and never will be. I want to fix my behavior in demonstrable ways. I also want to improve the general tenor of the company so that sexist or or gay "jokes" will not go unchallenged in the future. We're a smallish company without an HR director, so I'm kind of on my own here. How does, or should, the punishment fit the crime? Someone? Anyone? Signed, ashamed.
If DU thinks I deserve further excoriation, then bring it.
What did he say?Choose 1:a) "Bless you" (after she sneezed)b) "All lives matter"c) "We're in the black for this quarter."d) "Obama might not be right about X."e) "I disagree."f) Saying anything at allg) Looking in her general directionh) Existing
lapislzi (5,229 posts)8. It was intended to be a jokey complimentBut--I'd appropriated it from African American context, which is a clear no-no.
Snow Leopard (306 posts)17. Sounds like you are beingRailroaded to me. Sticks and stones and all that. Not saying a reprimand was wrong but it is only human nature to pick up on others speech and accents. If a large portion get away with saying things then it stands to reason those things will get picked up by others. Of course I believe people are waaaay to easily offended.
Response to Snow Leopard (Reply #17)Mon Oct 26, 2015, 10:52 AMStar Member marmar (68,425 posts)23. Who appointed you arbiter of what people should or shouldn't be offended by?
I have $5 on "nigga, please" with that brushoff hand-wave thing.
Probably said "that was mighty white of you" to the wrong person.
lapislzi66. That is not what I said. I have never used "nigga" or any of its variations in my life, and I don't expect to start. I said an asshole thing for a white person to say, even though it's been said about Morgan Freeman and the President, and by people like Spike Lee and Key and Peele, for whom it is presumably OK. I said it because she fixed the printer when nobody else could. I think you get the idea.
Star Member Heddi (17,400 posts) 58. I'm taking that you said something like "Nigga Please"? Correct Yeah, that was a pretty asshole thing to do.ONLY JERKS LIE IN THEIR ALERT MESSAGES. DON'T BE A JERK Reply to this postBack to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink
Response to Heddi (Reply #58)Mon Oct 26, 2015, 01:20 PMlapislzi (5,233 posts) 66. That is not what I said.I have never used "nigga" or any of its variations in my life, and I don't expect to start. I said an asshole thing for a white person to say, even though it's been said about Morgan Freeman and the President, and by people like Spike Lee and Key and Peele, for whom it is presumably OK. I said it because she fixed the printer when nobody else could. I think you get the idea.
I said an asshole thing for a white person to say, even though it's been said about ... the President, and by people like Spike Lee...I said it because she fixed the printer when nobody else could.
While I would have preferred that one ( ) it appears "****** rigged" was the offending remark. http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027288843#post66
Star Member gollygee (18,904 posts) 21. You couldsee if there's an organization in your area that does anti-racisim training, and then take their training, and give a copy of the certificate of completion to your employer to put in your file.
alcibiades_mystery (32,601 posts) 75. "...for whom it is presumably OK..."Your claims of contrition are consistently counterbalanced by these snide justifications. You called somebody a "REDACTED" because they REDACTED. It's not even a correct use of the phrase, which is a literary phrase referring to a stock character in the white imagination. When it is used about Morgan Freeman and President Obama, it's generally being used critically, as a critique of the function of their characters or actions in the white imagination. Ditto the way Spike Lee and Key and Peele use it. They are critiquing a particular representation of blackness in white literary and filmic works. Your usage of it was just ignorant, and, yes, ridiculously offensive. Now, I don't know if you should get fired for something like that (probably not, in my view), but you are continuing to justify yourself throughout this thread, including in the OP. Reasons for redactions: I don't want this coming up on some search and getting you in yet more trouble. You'd be wise to nix this whole thread.
