bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive gets clean bill of health

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7953556

Oh my.

Now remember, the lying titty primitive considers the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive his best pal.

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 10:38 PM
Original message

Well, Mrs R FINALLY made me do it - I went to the doctor for a physical. And it turns out that for a guy in his mid-fifties who smokes and drinks, and has essentially broken everything on the lower right side of his body and everything on the upper left side of his body; has been hit by a car while riding his bicycle three times; survived a near-fatal blood disease as a young teenager; blown an aneurysm in his gut (fortunately, while driving to the hospital for some tests); has been shot, blown up, and stabbed (though not all at the same time); had four concussions, and fell off a HELICOPTER, of all the absurd ****ing things to do...I'm in pretty good shape overall.

Blood pressure's a bit on the high side, but not in the worrisome range, that's all. Clean EKG, clear lungs, decent blood results.

Ha! I TOLD her not to worry about me.

(Well, there IS that little matter of the MS. But the treatments all still have side effects that are worse than the state of my personal version of that disease. So that's a wash, right there.)

So, Peg, you happy now? I finally broke down and got the damn checkup. Mrs R is mightily relieved, so I guess it was worth doing.

Well, yes, this is good news, but one wonders if the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive's problems with anger management have something to do with the blood pressure being "a bit" on "the high side."

Anyway.

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 10:52 PM
Response to Reply #5

7. Hey, I've gone places and done things. A little damage is a small price to pay for having had the experiences, even though my kids will never know the truth about most of them. (Hey, they don't NEED to ever know that Dad was such an oblivious lunatic when he was young. Mrs R and I have agreed on a car-accident explanatory cover story for the boys, and we're sticking with it.)

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 11:00 PM
Response to Reply #6

9. Ah, actually there MIGHT be some of that, as well. The doctor told me about a new medicine that, even though it's prescription-only, is supposed to work well with nerve pain, such as diabetic neuropathy, like Cymbalta is supposed to (but didn't work for me).

And the damnedest part is that, even though it's prescription-only, the ingredients are...VITAMINS! Apparently, it's a specific mix of vitamins in a specific ratio, that has shown results for helping with pain from neuropathy and damaged nerves. I don't remember the name, but I'm going to try it, because what the hell, it's VITAMINS, so what's the downside? It may work or not, but at least there are no side effects to worry about, like with Topamax or Neurontin.

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 11:34 PM
Response to Reply #10

13. Your man's got me beat on the knees; I only have the one rebuilt one with the Teflon kneecap.
   
But hey, having a plastic kneecap is a great excuse for getting out of having to dance, which I never could do anyway, even before all the damage.

Yes, it was a car accident, it was. You know, those happen all the time, and can happen to anyone. Can't they?

PS: You "wimmin-folk" are absolutely justified in "worrying about your men." Because we men are, for the most part, a stubborn and bullheaded lot, to the point where I'm ready to nominate the whole lot of you women as saints, just for the fact that you manage to be able to put up with us barely-evolved apes of men.

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 11:24 PM
Response to Original message

12. Oh, I forgot, there WAS one bit of bad news:
   
You know how people get shorter as they get older, because of compression of the discs in the spine?

I'm no longer six foot-four. I'm now, sadly, only six-three and three-quarters.

Well, booger.

[PatriotGame]

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 10:38 PM
Original message

Well, Mrs R FINALLY made me do it - I went to the doctor for a physical. And it turns out that for a guy in his mid-fifties who smokes and drinks, and has essentially broken everything on the lower right side of his body and everything on the upper left side of his body; has been hit by a car while riding his bicycle three times; survived a near-fatal blood disease as a young teenager; blown an aneurysm in his gut (fortunately, while driving to the hospital for some tests); has been shot, blown up, and stabbed (though not all at the same time); had four concussions, and fell off a HELICOPTER, of all the absurd ****ing things to do...I'm in pretty good shape overall.

Someone reads those Tom in Tib fantasies a little too much.
Give me a break!
I am quite confident however, the colonoscopy was successful in uncorking his head from his ass.

[Carl]

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 10:38 PM
Original message

Well, Mrs R FINALLY made me do it - I went to the doctor for a physical. And it turns out that for a guy in his mid-fifties who smokes and drinks, and has essentially broken everything on the lower right side of his body and everything on the upper left side of his body; has been hit by a car while riding his bicycle three times; survived a near-fatal blood disease as a young teenager; blown an aneurysm in his gut (fortunately, while driving to the hospital for some tests); has been shot, blown up, and stabbed (though not all at the same time); had four concussions, and fell off a HELICOPTER, of all the absurd ******* things to do...I'm in pretty good shape overall.

Blood pressure's a bit on the high side, but not in the worrisome range, that's all. Clean EKG, clear lungs, decent blood results.

Ha! I TOLD her not to worry about me.

(Well, there IS that little matter of the MS. But the treatments all still have side effects that are worse than the state of my personal version of that disease. So that's a wash, right there.)

So, Peg, you happy now? I finally broke down and got the damn checkup. Mrs R is mightily relieved, so I guess it was worth doing.

Somehow I think about a quarter of this is true,if you smoke there is no way you can have clean lungs,been there.

The getting hit by a car thing though....3 times?

That would sort of mean you are pretty stupid or more likely one of those that thinks they own the highway and doesn`t have to obey the rules of the road while riding.

[USA4ME]

Being in your mid-fifties and still clinging to political positions that have, throughout history, proven to be complete failures tells me more about Red than any doctor report could ever come close.

.

[Tucker]

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 10:38 PM
Original message

Well, Mrs R FINALLY made me do it - I went to the doctor for a physical. And it turns out that for a guy in his mid-fifties who smokes and drinks, and has essentially broken everything on the lower right side of his body and everything on the upper left side of his body; has been hit by a car while riding his bicycle three times; survived a near-fatal blood disease as a young teenager; blown an aneurysm in his gut (fortunately, while driving to the hospital for some tests); has been shot, blown up, and stabbed (though not all at the same time); had four concussions, and fell off a HELICOPTER, of all the absurd ******* things to do...I'm in pretty good shape overall.

Blood pressure's a bit on the high side, but not in the worrisome range, that's all. Clean EKG, clear lungs, decent blood results.

Ha! I TOLD her not to worry about me.

(Well, there IS that little matter of the MS. But the treatments all still have side effects that are worse than the state of my personal version of that disease. So that's a wash, right there.)

So, Peg, you happy now? I finally broke down and got the damn checkup. Mrs R is mightily relieved, so I guess it was worth doing.

Somehow I think about a quarter of this is true,if you smoke there is no way you can have clean lungs,been there.

The getting hit by a car thing though....3 times?

That would sort of mean you are pretty stupid or more likely one of those that thinks they own the highway and doesn`t have to obey the rules of the road while riding.

I've been in 3 bike/car accidents. All before the age of 13. I ride a motorcycle now. 

[Carl]

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 10:38 PM
Original message

Well, Mrs R FINALLY made me do it - I went to the doctor for a physical. And it turns out that for a guy in his mid-fifties who smokes and drinks, and has essentially broken everything on the lower right side of his body and everything on the upper left side of his body; has been hit by a car while riding his bicycle three times; survived a near-fatal blood disease as a young teenager; blown an aneurysm in his gut (fortunately, while driving to the hospital for some tests); has been shot, blown up, and stabbed (though not all at the same time); had four concussions, and fell off a HELICOPTER, of all the absurd ******* things to do...I'm in pretty good shape overall.

Blood pressure's a bit on the high side, but not in the worrisome range, that's all. Clean EKG, clear lungs, decent blood results.

Ha! I TOLD her not to worry about me.

(Well, there IS that little matter of the MS. But the treatments all still have side effects that are worse than the state of my personal version of that disease. So that's a wash, right there.)

So, Peg, you happy now? I finally broke down and got the damn checkup. Mrs R is mightily relieved, so I guess it was worth doing.

Somehow I think about a quarter of this is true,if you smoke there is no way you can have clean lungs,been there.

The getting hit by a car thing though....3 times?

That would sort of mean you are pretty stupid or more likely one of those that thinks they own the highway and doesn`t have to obey the rules of the road while riding.

I've been in 3 bike/car accidents. All before the age of 13. I ride a motorcycle now. 

Maybe that is the situation with him too just somehow I took it to mean as an adult so perhaps wrong.

[Tucker]

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 10:38 PM
Original message

Well, Mrs R FINALLY made me do it - I went to the doctor for a physical. And it turns out that for a guy in his mid-fifties who smokes and drinks, and has essentially broken everything on the lower right side of his body and everything on the upper left side of his body; has been hit by a car while riding his bicycle three times; survived a near-fatal blood disease as a young teenager; blown an aneurysm in his gut (fortunately, while driving to the hospital for some tests); has been shot, blown up, and stabbed (though not all at the same time); had four concussions, and fell off a HELICOPTER, of all the absurd ******* things to do...I'm in pretty good shape overall.

Blood pressure's a bit on the high side, but not in the worrisome range, that's all. Clean EKG, clear lungs, decent blood results.

Ha! I TOLD her not to worry about me.

(Well, there IS that little matter of the MS. But the treatments all still have side effects that are worse than the state of my personal version of that disease. So that's a wash, right there.)

So, Peg, you happy now? I finally broke down and got the damn checkup. Mrs R is mightily relieved, so I guess it was worth doing.

Somehow I think about a quarter of this is true,if you smoke there is no way you can have clean lungs,been there.

The getting hit by a car thing though....3 times?

That would sort of mean you are pretty stupid or more likely one of those that thinks they own the highway and doesn`t have to obey the rules of the road while riding.

I've been in 3 bike/car accidents. All before the age of 13. I ride a motorcycle now. 

Maybe that is the situation with him too just somehow I took it to mean as an adult so perhaps wrong.

Yeah. I read that his were as an adult also. If I wanted to see 14, I had to learn to look out for cars. Redstone probably expects everyone to look out for him while he is oblivious to the world around him.

[franksolich]

Yeah. I read that his were as an adult also. If I wanted to see 14, I had to learn to look out for cars. Redstone probably expects everyone to look out for him while he is oblivious to the world around him.

The bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive is the one who dresses like a "cowboy," based upon photographs posted by him, allegedly of him.

It's along the same lines as when the Bostonian Drunkard posted those photographs of himself preparing to go to Texas to interview what's-her-name in the ditch; all this black "cowboy" attire which made the Bostonian Drunkard look stupider than usual.

The bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive lives in northeastern Massachusetts, north and slightly east of Boston, although circa 35 years ago, he and the lying titty primitive allegedly hitch-hiked through the American Southwest.

That's probably where the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive got all these fanciful notions about how cowboys dress, and about how he's of Native American ancestry.  Just a wannabe.

[Tucker]

I've seen a pic of him and his wife and their offspring. His wife is kinda cute. I'd do her. (hope he's reading this)

[franksolich]

I've seen a pic of him and his wife and their offspring. His wife is kinda cute. I'd do her. (hope he's reading this)

You know, oftentimes in life it's the little things that leave the most-enduring impressions.

I used to think of the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive as just another run-of-the-mill primitive with particular anger management problems, and a violent temper; nothing more than that.

But then happened one of those days when Skins's island was disconsolate and despairing; I think it was when Mukasy was approved for attorney general.  Decent and civilized people had known since the preceding September that such was a done deal; the primitives never learned the news until December, and it caused an uproar.

The bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive started a bonfire, "demanding" that my fellow alum Skins show up on his island, to soothe and calm down the primitives; to make them happy again.  And then Pedro Picasso butted in, "demanding" the same thing, and wondering where Skins was.

Both the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive and Pedro Picasso yelled and screamed and bawled and temper-tantrummed because my fellow alum wasn't showing up.

Skins finally showed up a day later, explaining that as father of an infant son, he had other matters, matters in real life, to tend to.

But by then, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive and Pedro Picasso had evaporated.....and since then, although my fellow alum has been all around Skins's island, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive and Pedro Picasso have never as much as said "hello" to him.

It's a lack of good manners and courtesy like that, that leave big impressions; in this case, two inferiors thinking themselves better than someone obviously much superior to them.

Since that one time, one has been left with the everlasting impression of the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive and Pedro Picasso as being nothing more than withered old assholes.

[Tucker]

I've seen a pic of him and his wife and their offspring. His wife is kinda cute. I'd do her. (hope he's reading this)

You know, oftentimes in life it's the little things that leave the most-enduring impressions.

I used to think of the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive as just another run-of-the-mill primitive with particular anger management problems, and a violent temper; nothing more than that.

But then happened one of those days when Skins's island was disconsolate and despairing; I think it was when Mukasy was approved for attorney general.  Decent and civilized people had known since the preceding September that such was a done deal; the primitives never learned the news until December, and it caused an uproar.

The bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive started a bonfire, "demanding" that my fellow alum Skins show up on his island, to soothe and calm down the primitives; to make them happy again.  And then Pedro Picasso butted in, "demanding" the same thing, and wondering where Skins was.

Both the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive and Pedro Picasso yelled and screamed and bawled and temper-tantrummed because my fellow alum wasn't showing up.

Skins finally showed up a day later, explaining that as father of an infant son, he had other matters, matters in real life, to tend to.

But by then, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive and Pedro Picasso had evaporated.....and since then, although my fellow alum has been all around Skins's island, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive and Pedro Picasso have never as much as said "hello" to him.

It's a lack of good manners and courtesy like that, that leave big impressions; in this case, two inferiors thinking themselves better than someone obviously much superior to them.

Since that one time, one has been left with the everlasting impression of the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive and Pedro Picasso as being nothing more than withered old assholes.

I do remember that the stoned one mentioned that he had neglected his family and his wife had mentioned a divorce. He disappeared for a bit afterward.

Maybe Der Skimmer has one priority in order.

BTW. Loved you last sentence.

[franksolich]

BTW. Loved you last sentence.

Like I said, it's the small things that leave the biggest impressions.

[BlueStateSaint]

BTW. Loved you last sentence.

Like I said, it's the small things that leave the biggest impressions.

I believe that's called "attention to detail," Coach! 

[PatriotGame]

I've seen a pic of him and his wife and their offspring. His wife is kinda cute. I'd do her. (hope he's reading this)

Well yea but he has done her too.
Not that he carrys any STD'd but I just sayin'... 

[Tucker]

I've seen a pic of him and his wife and their offspring. His wife is kinda cute. I'd do her. (hope he's reading this)

Well yea but he has done her too.
Not that he carrys any STD'd but I just sayin'... 

When she took her drawers off, he probably put them on. Metro sexual type of liberated guy that he is.

[dandi]

Redstone  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Thu Jul-24-08 10:38 PM
Original message

Well, Mrs R FINALLY made me do it - I went to the doctor for a physical. And it turns out that for a guy in his mid-fifties who smokes and drinks, and has essentially broken everything on the lower right side of his body and everything on the upper left side of his body; has been hit by a car while riding his bicycle three times

That driver needs better aim or harder bumpers, one or the other.

[franksolich]

"bump" in memory of Redstone.