Author Topic: Man, 53, Calls 911 To Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him  (Read 2058 times)

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Offline BlueStateSaint

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You've got to go to the link.  It's a riot.

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Man, 53, Calls 911 To Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him

A South Carolina man called 911 early this morning to complain that his girlfriend would not have sex with him, according to an arrest report.
 
When a cop responded to his Spartanburg residence, Patrick Doggett, 53, “stated he called 911 because his girlfriend, Ms. Faye Woodruff, would not give him any ass.”

Woodruff told police that Doggett had been drinking all day and “didn’t know where he was at.” She added that Doggett got into bed and wanted to have sex, but “she had her grandchild with her.”

It's only six paragraphs long, so I posted half of the story.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/misuse-911/man-calls-911-over-lack-of-ass-674920
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Offline Big Dog

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You've got to go to the link.  It's a riot.

It's only six paragraphs long, so I posted half of the story.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/misuse-911/man-calls-911-over-lack-of-ass-674920



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Government is the negation of liberty.
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CAVE FVROREM PATIENTIS.

Offline Ptarmigan

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What is Patrick Doggett's DU name? Sorry, I had to ask.  :mental:
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