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Author Topic: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce  (Read 3143 times)

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Offline BannedFromDU

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Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« on: August 17, 2015, 12:52:37 PM »
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Star Member Aristus (35,652 posts)

A Night At The Opera: I had something funny and very gratifying happen to me last night.

My wife and I went to see Verdi's 'Nabucco' at Seattle Opera last night. I used the occasion as an opportunity to wear my brand-new white dinner jacket. The rest of my outfit was standard black-tie.

We were enjoying a drink at intermission when Mrs. Aristus went off to the ladies' room. I just stood by our little snack table checking some stuff on my phone. A very attractive woman right around my age (46) or so, came up to me and announced: "You're beautiful!"

When I had finished putting on my evening outfit at home, Mrs. Aristus and I both made a few Casablanca and James Bond jokes. I'm pretty sure it was my dinner jacket that caught this woman's attention. Those of you who have seen pics of me know I'm no James Bond. Or even Humphrey Bogart.

I could barely think of an appropriate response. "Thank you! So are you!"

Just then, a woman older than the first, whom I guessed was her mother, came up behind her.

"What are you two talking about, dear?"

"Um, we're just telling each other 'you're beautiful'."

'Mother' harrumphed and said: "Ah, a mutual admiration society, eh?"

I laughed, pointed at the 'daughter' and said: "Well, she started it!"

All three of us laughed at that.

Then the older lady took my arm, drew me aside and asked: "Are you staying for the rest of the opera?"

"Oh, most definitely!"

She patted my arm: "Good".

The younger woman led her away after that, and smiled a dazzling smile at me until they disappeared in the intermission crowd.

When Mrs. Aristus got back from the restroom, we had a good laugh over that strange but pleasant encounter.


Something about Seattle DUmmies makes them need to tell us how sophisticated and cultured they are.


Sounds like a scene out of The Great DUmbsby. Wonder when Cordell will get around to penning that one.
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Offline 67 Rover

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2015, 12:59:41 PM »
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Star Member Aristus (35,652 posts)

Those of you who have seen pics of me know I'm no James Bond. Or even Humphrey Bogart.

I have seen pics of you and it is more like Ernest Borgnine.
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Offline landofconfusion80

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2015, 01:14:23 PM »
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One Who Grows (244 posts)
20. absolute bullshit. the cave is unspeakably vile.

I don't know how any of you can live with yourselves.

:)

Offline obumazombie

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2015, 03:28:17 PM »
Which reminds me of a joke.
What is the difference between a lib and a soldier ?
One powders the face, the other faces the powder.
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Offline USA4ME

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2015, 03:31:40 PM »
What an active imagination!

Quote from:
Aristus

A very attractive woman right around my age (46) or so, came up to me and announced: "You're beautiful!"

Ha! Yeah, I remember when I had my first beer.

hehe

.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2015, 04:03:42 PM »
Negative three bongs awarded.

The true story: "My wife and I went to the opera. I wore a dinner jacket we bought for $5 at a garage sale. A woman made eye contact with me, and I got a boner. She saw me fidgeting and touching myself, and turned away. Now I dream of her while I masturbate."
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2015, 04:36:49 PM »
I once (40 years ago) had all that formal black tie junk, white dinner jacket, even a sear-sucker(?) one and a "Dressing chair" whatever that was.

All I have now are work clothes and my going to a funeral suit. I quit running with the snobby liberal elite long ago.
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2015, 04:39:09 PM »

     Here is what Aristus was trolling for:

Quote
CaliforniaPeggy (116,360 posts)
5. I am not one bit surprised, my dear Aristus...

You are one gorgeous man, white dinner jacket notwithstanding...



     She's lost without TominTib.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2015, 04:47:56 PM »
DUmmy sees a hooker solicit another guy at the bar.

Writes a bouncy tale.
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Offline obumazombie

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2015, 10:37:00 AM »
I would never fall for the old "You are gorgeous" ploy.
It hasn't happened to me yet.
If it did start happening, I would reach for my wallet and guard it with both hands.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2015, 10:37:49 AM »
Quote from: obumazombie on August 18, 2015, 10:37:00 AM
I would never fall for the old "You are gorgeous" ploy.
It hasn't happened to me yet.
If it did start happening, I would reach for my wallet and guard it with both hands.
:cheersmate:
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2015, 10:51:09 AM »
Quote from: obumazombie on August 18, 2015, 10:37:00 AM
I would never fall for the old "You are gorgeous" ploy.
It hasn't happened to me yet.
If it did start happening, I would reach for my wallet and guard it with both hands.


     Keep in mind that the person who said that was older. I would not be surprised if that was her antiquated way of calling him a homo.
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Offline landofconfusion80

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #12 on: August 18, 2015, 11:41:54 AM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on August 18, 2015, 10:51:09 AM

     Keep in mind that the person who said that was older. I would not be surprised if that was her antiquated way of calling him a homo.

....or maybe special?  "aren't you all grown up in your white jacket! did you pick it out all by yourself?!"
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One Who Grows (244 posts)
20. absolute bullshit. the cave is unspeakably vile.

I don't know how any of you can live with yourselves.

:)

Offline Rebel

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #13 on: August 18, 2015, 12:29:53 PM »
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Offline lastparker

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #14 on: August 18, 2015, 02:38:43 PM »
Quote from: Big Dog on August 17, 2015, 04:03:42 PM
Negative three bongs awarded.

The true story: "My wife and I went to the opera. I wore a dinner jacket we bought for $5 at a garage sale. A woman made eye contact with me, and I got a boner. She saw me fidgeting and touching myself, and turned away. Now I dream of her while I masturbate."

 :rotf:
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Offline 98ZJUSMC

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #15 on: August 18, 2015, 03:14:54 PM »
Quote
"What are you two talking about, dear?"

"Um, we're just telling each other 'you're beautiful'."

'Mother' harrumphed and said: "Ah, a mutual admiration society, eh?"

I laughed, pointed at the 'daughter' and said: "Well, she started it!"

All three of us laughed at that.

« Last Edit: August 18, 2015, 03:19:00 PM by 98ZJUSMC »
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Offline Karin

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #16 on: August 22, 2015, 11:24:29 AM »
What an embarrassingly stupid story.  WTF was the point of it??  And who uses the word "harumph" in a story?

And the pretentious shit about the opera and white dinner jacket....this thread makes me want to smack someone.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #17 on: August 22, 2015, 11:42:26 AM »
Quote from: Karin on August 22, 2015, 11:24:29 AM
What an embarrassingly stupid story.  WTF was the point of it??  And who uses the word "harumph" in a story?
The point was to rub the DUmp's collective nose in his imaginary wealth, sophistication, and attractiveness.

It's just a slight variation on Pam's cruise bouncies or the Big Guy's pitiful bragging about his new television.

I think "harumph" has a long history, going back to the golden age of bouncies.

While leaving the grocery checkout line, the humiliated repuke would often "harumph" as admiring onlookers applauded the clever moonbat.

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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #18 on: August 22, 2015, 12:16:50 PM »
Quote from: Karin on August 22, 2015, 11:24:29 AM
What an embarrassingly stupid story.  WTF was the point of it??  And who uses the word "harumph" in a story?

And the pretentious shit about the opera and white dinner jacket....this thread makes me want to smack someone.


     I don't doubt that this happened. I've been to the opera and to the symphony, and they might be the best people-watching opportunities you will ever have. Pompous assholes, like the DUmmy above, only get out every so often, so they dress in bizarre fashion and imagine themselves to be dressed to the nines. I am CERTAIN that the DUmmy wore a white dinner jacket, and I am equally certain that he looked like a complete cretin in it. Seattle is a West Coast city: no doubt there were people there in shorts and t-shirts, too.
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #19 on: August 22, 2015, 12:28:36 PM »
Quote from: Big Dog on August 17, 2015, 04:03:42 PM
Negative three bongs awarded.

The true story: "My wife and I went to the opera. I wore a dinner jacket we bought for $5 at a garage sale. A woman made eye contact with me, and I got a boner. She saw me fidgeting and touching myself, and turned away. Now I dream of her while I masturbate."

BINGO.  I managed to find surveillance footage of the encounter, and captured a still from it.  Note that you nailed it, right down to the raging boner:






The raw footage can be found here, for those interested in the true context:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfNvunRmgcw
« Last Edit: August 22, 2015, 12:42:46 PM by BattleHymn »
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2015, 06:03:41 PM »
I wonder if the pretentious Aristus, the most popular primitive in the Lounge, attended something like this. 

<<<recently learned how to use youtube.

https://youtu.be/Lcmmc-_bfGo

Being deaf, there's a lot I can't pick up, but I was absolutely intrigued watching the facial reactions of the guy usually in the center of the picture; he looks as if he had a major case of dyspepsia, and probably shouldn't have gone to the event, ruining it for others.
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Offline I_B_Perky

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Re: Aristus flirts while his old lady drops a deuce
« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2015, 08:25:42 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on August 22, 2015, 11:42:26 AM
The point was to rub the DUmp's collective nose in his imaginary wealth, sophistication, and attractiveness.

It's just a slight variation on Pam's cruise bouncies or the Big Guy's pitiful bragging about his new television.

I think "harumph" has a long history, going back to the golden age of bouncies.

While leaving the grocery checkout line, the humiliated repuke would often "harumph" as admiring onlookers applauded the clever moonbat.

Gobucks hit the nail right on the head.

Dummies can be counted on to do one of two things, depending on the type of dummie:

1. Beg for money because they are destitute
2. Flaunt their wealth, imaginary or not, to the destitute dummies.
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