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Author Topic: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.  (Read 3519 times)

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Offline BannedFromDU

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Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« on: July 15, 2015, 12:28:23 PM »
Quote
KamaAina (64,319 posts)

Taxpayers Have Now Spent $3.5 Million to Find Out Why Lesbians Are Obese
Sadly, not The Onion.

http://freebeacon.com/issues/taxpayers-have-now-spent-3-5-million-to-find-out-why-lesbians-are-obese/

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has now spent over $3.5 million to determine why the majority of lesbians are obese.

The project, now entering its fifth year, received another grant worth $658,485 this summer. The total funding for the research is now $3,531,925. Funding has more than doubled since the study was first revealed in 2013.

Since, the study that is examining why three-quarters of lesbians are obese, but gay men are not, has survived sequester cuts, and continues to produce results such as the discovery that gay men have a “greater desire for toned muscles” than straight men.

Another scientific paper associated with the research concluded that lesbians have lower “athletic-self esteem” that may lead to higher rates of obesity.


Yes, I know it's the Free Bacon , but it's still rather, uh, entertaining. I'm particularly fond of "lesbians have lower “athletic-self esteem” that may lead to higher rates of obesity." I thought all woman jocks were gay!

Sorry, but that fruit was so low-hanging I just had to pick it. Sometimes the punchline has to come before the setup.


Gentlemen, start your keyboards.
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Offline Carl

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #1 on: July 15, 2015, 12:32:22 PM »
Hey buzzy...look at the grant money you are missing out on!  :hyper:
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #2 on: July 15, 2015, 12:33:21 PM »
Quote from: Carl on July 15, 2015, 12:32:22 PM
Hey buzzy...look at the grant money you are missing out on!  :hyper:


      :rotf: ^5
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Offline USA4ME

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2015, 01:11:36 PM »
It's a dog eat dog world.

.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #4 on: July 15, 2015, 01:17:57 PM »
In case anyone's forgotten, or recently attained full membership:

http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=96343.0
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #5 on: July 15, 2015, 01:18:24 PM »
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #6 on: July 15, 2015, 01:23:32 PM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on July 15, 2015, 01:18:24 PM
:rotf: ^5

Okay, yes, yes, yes, it's 2015 out here in the Sandhills of Nebraska just as much as it's 2015 in blue America.  We're just up-to-date as anybody and everybody else.

However.

That two-wheeled thing Big Bertha's maneuvering around--I've seen a lot of things in my life, but I've never seen anything like that.  Maybe they come out when I'm asleep or something, or run away out of sight when they see me coming.

Is that contraption gasoline-powered, pedal-powered, or some other powered?

Really, I swear on the Head of St. John the Baptist that I don't know.
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Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2015, 01:29:24 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on July 15, 2015, 01:23:32 PM
Okay, yes, yes, yes, it's 2015 out here in the Sandhills of Nebraska just as much as it's 2015 in blue America.  We're just up-to-date as anybody and everybody else.

However.

That two-wheeled thing Big Bertha's maneuvering around--I've seen a lot of things in my life, but I've never seen anything like that.  Maybe they come out when I'm asleep or something, or run away out of sight when they see me coming.

Is that contraption gasoline-powered, pedal-powered, or some other powered?

Really, I swear on the Head of St. John the Baptist that I don't know.


     I believe you're referring to the Segway, which circa 2001 was a secret and would, according to some of the wrongest people in history, completely transform the world. In some respects, it did, because it transformed anyone riding one into a laughingstock. I believe they are still sold, marketed mainly to mall security forces and vacation destinations. I believe that to rent one, a male must leave not only a credit card on deposit, but his balls and self-esteem as well.

     If the Segway was a country, it would be France. It is gay. 
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2015, 01:30:42 PM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on July 15, 2015, 01:29:24 PM

     I believe you're referring to the Segway, which circa 2001 was a secret and would, according to some of the wrongest people in history, completely transform the world. In some respects, it did, because it transformed anyone riding one into a laughingstock. I believe they are still sold, marketed mainly to mall security forces and vacation destinations. I believe that to rent one, a male must leave not only a credit card on deposit, but his balls* and self-esteem as well.

     If the Segway was a country, it would be France. It is gay.


* - no word on whether Bertha was required to leave hers.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2015, 01:35:49 PM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on July 15, 2015, 01:29:24 PM

I dunno.  Around here, we use our.....legs.

Legs are free--they come two to a body, usually--and they're low- or no-maintenance when compared with mechanical devices for ambulation. 

I'll bet if Big Bertha used her legs more, she'd be about 200 pounds less than what she is.

But she'll never do anything about it; Big Bertha's probably one of these people who uses a remote control to change channels on the television, instead of getting up off the couch and walking over to twist the dial.

There's scads of ways Big Bertha and the big guy in Bellevue could lose weight.....
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2015, 01:41:44 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on July 15, 2015, 01:35:49 PM
I dunno.  Around here, we use our.....legs.

Legs are free--they come two to a body, usually--and they're low- or no-maintenance when compared with mechanical devices for ambulation. 

I'll bet if Big Bertha used her legs more, she'd be about 200 pounds less than what she is.

But she'll never do anything about it; Big Bertha's probably one of these people who uses a remote control to change channels on the television, instead of getting up off the couch and walking over to twist the dial.

There's scads of ways Big Bertha and the big guy in Bellevue could lose weight.....


      I think she would appeal to her knee issues for reasons to avoid exercise. I have been told that if I can't exercise my body, I can exercise control over what I consume. It appears that she is willing to do neither, thus and so she has likely created the first-ever order for Segway spare parts. I also seem to recall that she was in some distress over procurement of a tent for a camping trip with like-minded womenfolk. Since I have not seen pictures of the event (nor especially would I like to see them), the cynical among us may wonder if she actually intended to wear the tent. 
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #11 on: July 15, 2015, 01:44:41 PM »
All that money wasted on finding out why lesbians are fat and not one dime to find out why 99.99% are uglier than sin.
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2015, 01:57:25 PM »
I think it was HAA-VARD that did the study of why women cheat on their husbands/BFs.....Don't remember all the reasons but #1 reason was.....wait for it.....wait.....their husbands/BFs have big balls.

How stupid do you have to be to give away taxpayers hard earned money for stupid studies.
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Offline landofconfusion80

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #13 on: July 15, 2015, 01:58:19 PM »
Boiled down to it being a mental illness issue.  Depressed people eat more, it being mental illness as well.
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #14 on: July 15, 2015, 01:59:12 PM »
Quote from: thundley4 on July 15, 2015, 01:44:41 PM
All that money wasted on finding out why lesbians are fat and not one dime to find out why 99.99% are uglier than sin.


     One thing I always found amusing about the liberal, hyper-politically correct lesbian celebrities (which is to say, all of them) is that they like the same sort of eye candy that those bad old awful men like (in analogous terms, anyway). Look at the "wives" and girlfriends of Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie whatshername, Melissa Etheridge, and certainly a couple I'm forgetting. Not a Bertha in the bunch. Odd, that.
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #15 on: July 15, 2015, 03:15:16 PM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on July 15, 2015, 01:41:44 PM

      I think she would appeal to her knee issues for reasons to avoid exercise. I have been told that if I can't exercise my body, I can exercise control over what I consume. It appears that she is willing to do neither, thus and so she has likely created the first-ever order for Segway spare parts. I also seem to recall that she was in some distress over procurement of a tent for a camping trip with like-minded womenfolk. Since I have not seen pictures of the event (nor especially would I like to see them), the cynical among us may wonder if she actually intended to wear the tent.

 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :rotf: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

You are on a roll!  H5!
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #16 on: July 15, 2015, 06:32:49 PM »
$3.5 million to find out why wonen who eat tacos without using their hands, are fat.

I guess they had to bait the field, and taco platters ain't cheap.
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Offline RayRaytheSBS

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #17 on: July 17, 2015, 01:27:27 PM »
Quote from: Big Dog on July 15, 2015, 06:32:49 PM
$3.5 million to find out why wonen who eat tacos without using their hands, are fat.

I guess they had to bait the field, and taco platters ain't cheap.

What's the limit? And how do you know if you got a doe or a buck?  :rotf:
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #18 on: July 17, 2015, 01:35:17 PM »
Quote from: RayRaytheSBS on July 17, 2015, 01:27:27 PM
And how do you know if you got a doe or a buck?  :rotf:
Look for the mullet.
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Offline Big Dog

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #19 on: July 17, 2015, 03:55:46 PM »
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Offline Fourwinds

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Re: Evidently they spent all $3.5MM on Bertha, at KFC.
« Reply #20 on: July 17, 2015, 05:27:49 PM »
Cancer  or AIDS research? Screw that! We need to know why bull dykes are fat.

I can't believe this is the planet I live on.
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