What. The. Hell.
She has a fiance.
And a female "life partner."
And she's disabled.
If she has a live-in life partner, I'm going to go ahead and guess what her disability entails, and what her fiance is getting out of the deal.
At the risk of crossing into Flippy Doo's AOR, I am getting a mental image of this DUmmy and her family.
Wiccans.
The bisexual DUmmy is the alpha female. "Gaea Mother" type in her 40s, obese, lots of tattoos. Wears muumuus (which she calls "sarongs") without underwear most of the time. Addicted to prescription narcotics, probably Oxycontin. Her "disabilities" include depression, sleep apnea, and fibromyalgia, all of which she "treats" with marijuana; and migraines, which she treats with frequent trips to the ER for Demerol and Vistaril injections (gets angry when the doctor orders Tramadol instead, since "it never helps"). Fancies herself some kind of natural healer. Probably the high priestess of their family coven, which is made up of the three adults, various former members who came and went over the years, and the prospective new "life partner" to replace Deb, which is inevitable.
Life Partner Deb is younger. Has a creepy mother/lover dynamic with the DUmmy. Sexual history limited to abuse by an adult family member while she was a teenager, a couple prior boyfriends, and Gaea Mother. Believes herself to be "fae" (a subset of Wicca based on "faerie" stories) Doesn't give it up for the fiance' because that would be "cheating" on Mama. A "cutter" who is prone to anxiety attacks and has prior suicide attempts. Takes multiple psych medications.
The fiance' is a skinny submissive male, between Faerie Deb and Gaea Mother in age. He's straight, mostly. Read Tim Zell's book, and thought Wicca would get him lots of *****; has been consistently disappointed. His Wiccan name is "Lord Something-or-Otter". Makes jewelry to sell at pagan festivals and the local Ren Fest. Owns a disturbingly large collection of phallic symbols: wands, swords, and knives (which he calls "athames"). The only member of the triad who is not seeing a mental health professional, but
should.
ETA: They all believe The Wicker Man is a how-to video. Sex in their house is disappointing for all concerned. Wiccans perceive themselves to be sexually liberated and uninhibited, but they are actually some of the most repressed, unimaginative, and downright boring people; this crew is no exception. Three-ways are out of the question, because Gaea Mother would get jealous if Faerie Deb had better sex with Lord Something-or-Otter than with her. Screwing Gaea Mother would be like humping a beanbag chair. She gives it up for Lord Something-or-Otter once a month at Ritual (with her on top, 'cuz the Goddess is always on top), and once or twice a month in a flaccid, non-reciprocating way. Faerie Deb does all the work in bed with Gaea Mother, who is also flaccid and non-reciprocating with her- although she considers it to be "nurturing". Lord Something-or-Otter gets a little strange once in awhile at pagan festivals, but only with Gaea Mother's permission.
The house is filled with faerie and dragon shit. Patchouli scented incense is burning constantly, but it fails to cover up the pervasive smells of rancid grease, unwashed dishes, stale ass, and sweat.
I
really wish I didn't know this shit.
