Big Bertha going camping

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/12141142

Oh my.

Actually, Big Bertha's had a lot of threads about camping, in the Lounge, but I never thought to collect them for our amusement.  However, I found this all-purpose thread in the Outdoor Life forum on Skins's island, which covers much about which Big Bertha's inquired.

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts)    Tue May 26, 2015, 09:44 PM

Camping Questions
 
Hi. I'll be going camping for the first time in August.

Can you recommend a good and inexpensive (oxymoron?) 4-man tent? What is the best source for tents?

Do I need a sleeping pad if I have a cot?

There will be communal dinners, but I don't know anything about camp cooking. I'll probably take a cooler full of sandwiches for myself. But if I should need to contribute, what should I take to make and share? What's easy but good? And what kinds of pots & pans & utensils will I need? And how will I boil water for tea? Gotta have my tea.

I am looking up answers to these questions as well as posting here. If you can offer any advice besides answers to my questions, I'd welcome it.

Thanks!

The way I understand it--and being human, I might've understood it wrongly--is that this camp is in eastern Connecticut, and features nudist musicians. 

Something like that; it's been a while since I read her first thread on the subject.

No Vested Interest (2,449 posts)    Tue May 26, 2015, 09:54 PM

1. I am not a camper - but here's my answer to 2 of your questions -
 
Tents can be rented. Since you may never go camping again, you might want to look into that. (We rented a tent ca 40 yrs ago).

What to take and share? Since I no longer cook, when asked to contribute, my first choice is grapes. Everybody likes grapes and they are usually well received. Other fruit, cookies, baked beans are also universally welcomed.

Now we'll let the real campers give you answers.

Hope you have a good time.

Brickbat (17,245 posts)    Tue May 26, 2015, 09:58 PM

2. Are you hiking in or driving in?

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 05:32 AM

10. Driving, thank goodness.

canoeist52 (2,132 posts)    Tue May 26, 2015, 10:11 PM

3. This is the four-person tent model we've been using and recommending for about 40 years.
 
after which a picture of a tent

Recommended for ease of set-up in a storm. and it's durability.

http://store.eurekatent.com/timberline-4-tent
?1432692068

This is the cook kit I would buy today as the one we're using is no long made; http://www.campmor.com/Product___86752
 
after which a picture of cheap flimsy aluminum camp cookware

d_r (4,377 posts)    Tue May 26, 2015, 10:41 PM

5. I second the eureka too
 
We have one and it is great. It to s a midrange ten. If you want cheaper because you may not go much, I also have a Coleman that made it through 5 years of cub and partner. I have the three person not here is the four.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004J2GUOU/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1432694294&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SY200_QL40&keywords=coleman+sundome&dpPl=1&dpID=412Nr-Xo09L&ref=plSrch

Cot? How big is this cot, what about the other 3 people? 

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 06:15 AM

12. Hi, d_r.
 
I'm a big woman, and I found a big cot. X-large, rated to 300 pounds. I feel lucky to have found it.

Unless someone doesn't have a tent, in which case I'd welcome them, it will be only me. I'm big and I'm clumsy; I don't move around well. I want to be able to step around the space a little, and to be able to stand up sometimes (I'm 64" tall). What do you think?

ManiacJoe (7,824 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 07:10 AM

17. Standing will be a problem with the Eureka.
 
It is only 4 feet tall. Inside, you would be always on your knees. 

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts)    Thu May 28, 2015, 01:17 AM

22. Ooh. Kneeling isn't an option.
 
With severe arthritis in both knees, I'd better get a taller tent.

Star Member d_r (4,377 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 08:32 AM

19. standing
 
With all be a problem with the Coleman too.

Will you be able the drive to the campsite? I mean, will you he able to unload your stuff right there? You are probably going to get a bigger than four person to Stand in. So it would be heavier. Maybe something like this?

http://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004E4ERHA/ref=mp_s_a_1_11?qid=1432729811&sr=8-11&pi=AC_SX110_SY165&keywords=family+tent

Wilms (22,808 posts)    Tue May 26, 2015, 11:45 PM

7. I'll third the Eureka suggestion.
 
And thanks for the memories that image brought.

ManiacJoe (7,824 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 01:34 AM

8. As great as the Eureka tent is,
 
its height assumes that you are sleeping on the ground, not on a cot. Otherwise, you are not going to fit four people in it.

For camping coffee and tea:
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Stansport-Campers-Coffee-Pot/20920957 

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 06:16 AM

13. Just me, ManiacJoe.

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts) Wed May 27, 2015, 05:34 AM   

11. Thank you, canoeist.
 
I'll look for a Eureka tent that's taller. I'm going to use a cot, and I would really like to be able to reach something near a standing position inside the tent. I want a 4-man tent because I am large and clumsy, and want to be able to move around.

canoeist52 (2,132 posts)    Tue May 26, 2015, 10:16 PM

4. Coffee pots
 
after which a picture of a cheap flimsy aluminum coffee pot

This is the coffee pot I would buy today if our vintage one crapped out, as it has a glass percolator top so it can be used over a campfire.
http://www.campmor.com/Product___26028
 
If you're camping in cool or cold weather, you need a foam or closed cell mat on a cot to protect you from the cold air circulating underneath you.

Question.

Why is that?  Why is camping cookware usually cheap flimsy aluminum?

Cracklin Charlie (877 posts)   Tue May 26, 2015, 10:51 PM

6. Four words
 
Biscuits on a stick

Get one of those cans of biscuits, roll the disc shaped biscuit between your hands into a snakey shape, and wind that biscuit snake around the end of a straight, sturdy stick. Kind of like a corkscrew around the stick.

Hold the biscuit on a stick over the campfire, not too close, rotate occasionally, until it is golden brown. Takes 15 minutes or so. Prop on a fork stick if you don't want to hold it. Slide the biscuit off the stick, roll it in some butter.

Yum.

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 06:17 AM

15. Sounds tasty.
 
I thought the only food you could cook over a campfire were hot dogs and marshmallows.

oneshooter (7,229 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 07:14 AM

18. I am a Chuck Wagon cook.
 
after which a photograph of food

after which another photograph of food

after which a photograph of primitives "roughing it" [quotation marks sarcastic]

And anything you can cook on your stove or in your oven you can cook with a campfire.

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts)    Thu May 28, 2015, 01:15 AM

20. Peach cobbler and cornbread?
 
That's a very impressive setup.

oneshooter (7,229 posts)    Thu May 28, 2015, 08:21 AM

24. Thank you.
 
I also cook buttermilk biscuits w/ peppered sausage gravy, Chicken and dumplings and many other foods. Anything you can cook in an oven,or on a stove, can be cooked on an open fire.

ManiacJoe (7,824 posts)   Wed May 27, 2015, 01:41 AM

9. Everything a beginner needs to know about camping:
 
The Boy Scout Handbook

written such that an 11-year-old can understand it. 

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 06:21 AM

16. What a great idea.

meathead (49 posts)    Thu May 28, 2015, 04:46 PM

26. That's how i learned.
 
For car camping, I'd borrow the tent and then use household equivalents for your other necessities. Most camping gear is only specialized (extra lite or small) for backpacking. For your purpose small and light doesn't really apply. 

HooptieWagon (10,928 posts)   Sun May 31, 2015, 08:19 PM

27. I have a Eureka tent also.
 
They're good, but your first time camping you may find you don't enjoy it. Rent or borrow a tent, or buy a cheap new or used one.

A pad on a cot makes it a little more comfortable, but it's not 100% necessary. Sleeping on the ground you need a pad as a minimum, an air bed is better.

Good food to share is fruits, nuts, popcorn, cheese and crackers...any kind of nibbly stuff. Bring plenty of water. Handi-wipes are good too, you can even use them for a crude shower if no facilities.

Anything you can boil water in is fine for making tea. A teapot is the handiest. You'll need an oven mitt. If someone else is doing cooking, you don't need to buy a camping cookset. They aren't even useful anyway (too small, too flimsy, and tend to burn food). Much better is cast iron skillet and Dutch oven (which are also useful at home). But wait and see if you like camping first.

eta: one more tip. Whether cooking over a fire or camp stove, the bottom of the pans will get really sooty. Rub a bar of soap on the bottom and lower sides. Not the insides of course. That will make scrubbing the soot off much easier.

My guess is the Boy Scout handbook is the best fount of information for Big Bertha.

<<<has never read the Boy Scout handbook, but has always found the memoirs of British clients of Thomas Cook & Co., Ltd., during the 1860s and 1870s, touring remote parts of the British Empire, eminently helpful.

In case one's not aware, the best mosquito repellent is simply drinking a cup of vinegar in the morning.  That's what they did, and it worked.

[franksolich]

"Big Bertha"
http://conservativecave.com/index.php?topic=96343.0

It's an oldie, and while many photographs are now absent due to rearrangement of the photobucket account, there's still some good ones there.

One has to at least give Big Bertha kudos for frankly admitting she's not petite.

[SVPete]

Oy! 5'4" and somewhere between 250 and 300 lbs. ... camping. That's probably not going to be (have been) very easy. Hope the site is reasonably flat.

[Mr Mannn]

Tent trailer. Big enough, tow it in, no stakes, no bending...perfect.

[GOBUCKS]

Wait a minute.

Big Bertha is going to a nudist music camp out alone?

She's been talking about her increasing insanity and its effect on her "wife" or "partner" or whatever carpet munchers call one another.

Sounds like the little lady may have split, so to speak.

(5'4" - 300 lbs. - nadin's doctor would sign off on that)

[diesel driver]

Oy! 5'4" and somewhere between 250 and 300 lbs. ... camping. That's probably not going to be (have been) very easy. Hope the site is reasonably flat.

 

ManiacJoe (7,824 posts)   Wed May 27, 2015, 01:41 AM

9. Everything a beginner needs to know about camping:
 
The Boy Scout Handbook

written such that an 11-year-old can understand it.

Totally beyond the comprehension of any DUmmie.   

[Big Dog]

In case one's not aware, the best mosquito repellent is simply drinking a cup of vinegar in the morning.  That's what they did, and it worked.

Big Bertha is going to need more than a cup of it. 5'4 and 300 lb, at a nudist camp, she has about an acre of landing space for mosquitoes.

[diesel driver]

Big Bertha is going to need more than a cup of it. 5'4 and 300 lb, at a nudist camp, she has about an acre of landing space for mosquitoes.

Not counting the increased surface area afforded by her various folds, rolls, mounds, and wrinkles.   

Question:  If she has an allergic reaction to "something in the wild" and experiences "excessive swelling", how could you tell, and would anyone notice?   

[SVPete]

ManiacJoe (7,824 posts)   Wed May 27, 2015, 01:41 AM

9. Everything a beginner needs to know about camping:
 
The Boy Scout Handbook

written such that an 11-year-old can understand it.

Referring a lesbian to the Boy Scout Handbook? I'm surprised that post didn't get Hidden. BTW, the minimum age to join Boy Scouts is 12YO, but maybe Boy Scouts are a bit smarter than the average preteen boy.

My main intent was practical rather than humorous. Getting down to and up from the ground would not be easy for some one of her height, weight, and physical condition (I think I saw in one of the pix that she uses a cane). OTOH the thoughts of her accidentally rolling down hill at night or that she carries her hills and valleys with her wherever she goes are a bit humorous. (It's been 15 years since my weight and condition were such that I was exhausted by the 1+ mile uphill trail to Neuschwanstein Castle, and the half marathon I did last weekend started with a 2 1/2 mile, 1600' continuous uphill climb and finished with the same, downhill, so I'll be a bit snippy on that point)

Tent trailer. Big enough, tow it in, no stakes, no bending...perfect.

Unless tent trailers have gotten easier to set up since the early 70s (when I worked for a place that rented out the things) she would probably have to get help with set-up and take-down. The idea of that being done at a nudist camp out ...

[tanstaafl]

Not counting the increased surface area afforded by her various folds, rolls, mounds, and wrinkles.   

Question:  If she has an allergic reaction to "something in the wild" and experiences "excessive swelling", how could you tell, and would anyone notice?   

Then it's time to get the extra large bage of flour out.

The Aftermath OP is gonna be epic!

[franksolich]

Big Bertha is going to need more than a cup of it. 5'4 and 300 lb, at a nudist camp, she has about an acre of landing space for mosquitoes.

I was surprised to learn that Big Bertha's never camped before. 

Given her age, her socio-economic status, and that she was born and raised in California, surely she's camped before, even if only in a pup tent at a long-ago Girl Scout camp for a weekend.

Myself, I loathe and detest roughing it--oh man, do I bitch about it--and avoid it as much as possible, but hey, camping's never been a new experience for me.

[67 Rover]

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 06:15 AM

12. Hi, d_r.
 
I'm a big woman, and I found a big cot. X-large, rated to 300 pounds. I feel lucky to have found it.

Unless someone doesn't have a tent, in which case I'd welcome them, it will be only me. I'm big and I'm clumsy; I don't move around well. I want to be able to step around the space a little, and to be able to stand up sometimes (I'm 64" tall). What do you think?

Her fellow campers should take note of this, you know just in case of a bear encounter.    They would probably have enough time to pack up the tent, food, equipment and just walk away.

[tanstaafl]

Her fellow campers should take note of this, you know just in case of a bear encounter.    They would probably have enough time to pack up the tent, food, equipment and just walk away.

Remember, when encountering bears, you don't have to be faster than the bear, just fast enough to keep ahead of your camping partners, the poor, slow bear appetizer bait.

And when in bear country, it's important to have bear pepper spray and wear tiny bells on your hiking clothes so the bears can hear you coming. It's also important to know your bear-sign. Scat is a pretty good indicator of bears, their relative closeness and as to which kind of bear may be in the neighborhood. Black bear scat is mushy, contains seed husks and small mammal bits and fur. Grizzly bear scat is much more solid, smells like pepper and has tiny bells in it.

[obumazombie]

Bertha Venation (21,313 posts)    Wed May 27, 2015, 06:15 AM

12. Hi, d_r.
 
I'm a big woman, and I found a big cot. X-large, rated to 300 pounds. I feel lucky to have found it.

Unless someone doesn't have a tent, in which case I'd welcome them, it will be only me. I'm big and I'm clumsy; I don't move around well. I want to be able to step around the space a little, and to be able to stand up sometimes (I'm 64" tall). What do you think?

After punishing her Segway(and her arthritic knees) on the camping trails with her 300 plus pound body, she will be punishing her cot all night and a good part of the day.

[JohnnyReb]

Most naked hippies didn't even look good in the 60's....now 50 years later there's no way I want to see that....please don't post pictures Big Bertha.

[franksolich]

Most naked hippies didn't even look good in the 60's....now 50 years later there's no way I want to see that....please don't post pictures Big Bertha.

I'm still confused as to why so many primitives are suggesting she buy cheap flimsy aluminum cookware for camp cooking, though.  And it does seem to me in real life that people do the same, buying cheap flimsy aluminum cookware for camping.

When franksolich was a little lad, a lilliputian tot to be exact, the older brothers and their friends used to take me "camping" down alongside the Platte River, which was about a mile south of our home in town.

They cooked, although the memory fails me on what they used.....other than that it wasn't cheap flimsy aluminum pots and pans.  These pots and pans had weight; so much that they were usually left where we "camped," rather than being carried back home.

It seems to me they were also incredibly old and dirty. 

I also remember the food that came out of it, as long as it wasn't fish, suited.

[Carl]

Why do these people ask for advice and then always argue every one.
I think "can`t" is the first word out of a DUmbasses mouth when they begin to talk.

[CollectivismMustDie]

They cooked, although the memory fails me on what they used.....other than that it wasn't cheap flimsy aluminum pots and pans.  These pots and pans had weight; so much that they were usually left where we "camped," rather than being carried back home.

It seems to me they were also incredibly old and dirty. 

Sounds like cast iron dutch oven cooking, Coach.


CMD

[BannedFromDU]

Why do these people ask for advice and then always argue every one.
I think "can`t" is the first word out of a DUmbasses mouth when they begin to talk.

     Because part of being a DUmmy is the insistence that any rule, convention, experience, or institution is set up by 1%er rethuglikkan bigoted homophobes and must be resisted at every turn. They are such special flowers that their special case invalidates any and all advice.

     Bertha needs a tent and a sleeping bag for a fat person who can't move around because she ate herself into oblivion. Flat out, plain and simple. She'd rather argue the law than the facts. **** her. 

[67 Rover]

After punishing her Segway(and her arthritic knees) on the camping trails with her 300 plus pound body, she will be punishing her cot all night and a good part of the day.

Hell she will be punishing the log she sits on near the campfire. 

[franksolich]

Up until my younger brother and I came along, long after all the older brothers and sisters, the family used to stay in motels and hotels on their way to Pennsylvania from Nebraska, but then in 1962, that all changed, when the family for the first time camped on the way to and from the parents’ birth-state.

I was w-a-a-a-a-y too young to know anything about that, but records show that a tent-trailer was rented out of an agency in Grand Island, Nebraska, and photographs show it to have been some sort of blue-and-grey trailer where the top was cranked up, the sides being canvas, after it was parked for the night.  No extensions or wings; just a box where the lid was raised.

But beginning with summer vacation in 1965, and for the next ten years or so, the family rented Starcraft trailers only, and always the same model.

By the time my younger brother and I were the last ones still home, the parents, having aged considerably because of their hippie older children, acceded to my pressure that we stay in motels and hotels instead; it was a lot cleaner, easier, and more convenient.

When growing up, I used to bitch and whine and moan and gripe about “roughing it” all the time; I saw absolutely no sense in it, and it was more of an ordeal than any adventure.

I suppose I should feel badly, a twinge of conscience, having been that way, because the parents and all the brothers and sisters truly enjoyed camping; they wouldn’t want to do anything different.  We were a very social family, and it happened every night that other campers from other parts of the country congregated around our site; my parents especially had some sort of magnetism that attracted other people their direction.

But I don’t feel badly about it, because despite all my carping, nobody paid attention to me anyway.  They liked camping and went about with determination, enjoying it.  It was as if I’d never said anything at all.

[BannedFromDU]

Up until my younger brother and I came along, long after all the older brothers and sisters, the family used to stay in motels and hotels on their way to Pennsylvania from Nebraska, but then in 1962, that all changed, when the family for the first time camped on the way to and from the parents’ birth-state.

I was w-a-a-a-a-y too young to know anything about that, but records show that a tent-trailer was rented out of an agency in Grand Island, Nebraska, and photographs show it to have been some sort of blue-and-grey trailer where the top was cranked up, the sides being canvas, after it was parked for the night.  No extensions or wings; just a box where the lid was raised.

But beginning with summer vacation in 1965, and for the next ten years or so, the family rented Starcraft trailers only, and always the same model.

By the time my younger brother and I were the last ones still home, the parents, having aged considerably because of their hippie older children, acceded to my pressure that we stay in motels and hotels instead; it was a lot cleaner, easier, and more convenient.

When growing up, I used to bitch and whine and moan and gripe about “roughing it” all the time; I saw absolutely no sense in it, and it was more of an ordeal than any adventure.

I suppose I should feel badly, a twinge of conscience, having been that way, because the parents and all the brothers and sisters truly enjoyed camping; they wouldn’t want to do anything different.  We were a very social family, and it happened every night that other campers from other parts of the country congregated around our site; my parents especially had some sort of magnetism that attracted other people their direction.

But I don’t feel badly about it, because despite all my carping, nobody paid attention to me anyway.  They liked camping and went about with determination, enjoying it.  It was as if I’d never said anything at all.

     That doesn't look ADA compliant, Coach. Also it doesn't look large enough to host an after-hours lesbian dogpile that would resemble a bag of greasy, tattooed marshmallows. Ew. Gross. Bertha has me creeped out.

[GOBUCKS]

Big Bertha always reminds me of a rock 'n' roll classic:

TROGLODYTE (CAVE MAN)

The Jimmy Castor Bunch

What we're gonna do right here is go back, way back, back into time
When the only people that existed were troglodytes
Cave men, cave women, Neanderthal, troglodytes
Let's take the average cave man at home, listening to his stereo
Sometimes he'd get up, try to do his thing
He'd begin to move, something like this: 'dance...dance'
When he got tired of dancing alone, he'd look in the mirror:
Gotta find a woman, gotta find a woman
Gotta find a woman gotta find a woman
...
He said: move...move, she got up, she was a big woman
Big woman, her name was Bertha, Bertha Butt
She was one of the Butt sisters, he didn't care
He looked up at her and said:
Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me
Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me!
She looked down on him
She was ready to crush him, but she began to like him

[franksolich]

Sounds like cast iron dutch oven cooking, Coach.

This is outside of my memory, but around 1960, 1961, 1962, when one of my older brothers was in high school, for an “industrial arts” project, he picked something out of a Popular Mechanics magazine, and built it; a portable “camp kitchen.”

It was made out of plywood, and fit exactly in the back of a station wagon.  It was as if a box laying on its side, and when the lid was pulled down, it showed drawers and hangers and cubbyholes and stuff, for camping cookware.  The lid, when opened, served as sort of a “counter.”

It was stocked with cheap flimsy aluminum camping “cookware,” pots and pans that rarely lasted longer than one vacation.  The “camping” “silverware” was laughable.  And it had a “pantry,” into which canned, bagged, and boxed food was stored.

I have no idea the odor-retentive qualities of plywood and varnish, but it must be impressive.

This thing stank to high heaven; it was nauseous, this odor.  And it retained the odor even when the “camp kitchen” was stored in the basement or the garage for the winter, left wide open so as to “air out.”

When the parents died, I was assigned the keeper of the family history, including heirlooms, and I was greatly concerned I’d have to take this thing too; after all, it’d been a large part of our lives for about fifteen years, and everybody but me liked it. 

Fortunately, the brother who built it wanted it.  After he died, I worried again, because of my position as keeper of the family heirlooms.  But much to my relief, his sons couldn’t find it, and to this day don’t know what happened to it.   It’s odd, because it was kind of large and heavy—and stenchful--to just evaporate.

[obumazombie]

Hell she will be punishing the log she sits on near the campfire. 

She will be laying down the lumber no doubt.