Oh--- it's about adoption...
me b zola (18,061 posts) http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026523210
On this date, 4/17/1963, Adults entered into a contract that limited my rights without my permission
Fifty-two years ago today I was born and immediately removed from my mother. My mother, and an adoption agency entered ==>>ME==<< into a legally binding contract without my permission but yet affects me for my entire life. Today I am going to not speak about how this contract affects my son and my four grandchildren, as well as the human rights issues in how my mother came to be involved in this contract to begin with. Today is about me. Today is about my rights.
I am a fifty-two year old woman who is not legally entitled to my own birth certificate. My own birth documents were sealed away upon my birth, and the contract signed by adults at the time of my birth say that I am not entitled to them. Lets skip past the part that I am in reunion with both sides of my family and of course my advancing age. What other infant can be the object of a legal contract that will affect them for their entire life? How can this odious practice begin to even meet the lowest of ethical standards for any institution?
Do parents have the right to obligate their infant into a contract that will last a lifetime? How about a parent who is offered assistance if they sign their infant up for military service? If that crazy analogy makes you say 'hell no!' then how can it be okay for the crazy circumstance that I was born into?
For those who want to dismiss any adoptee for demanding the right to their own birth documents, I would only say that privilege makes it difficult to see beyond your own circumstance. You have yours, so its no big-deal that others have no access to theirs. As far as you are concerned my water fountain is lovelier than yours so I should just STFU...right?
This is a civil and human rights issue. No one has the right to impose their legal contract on me, no one gets to say which of my own personal documents I have access to.
If you say that you support adoption, then please, support adoptees. Support equal rights for adoptees. Only 20% or so of our lives is spent as children. We are human beings and deserve the same rights as other citizens.
Support adoptee rights, no "mother may I', but true legislation that allows us the same rights as you.
She gave you up for adoption, not sold you into slavery, you ****ing wackjob!
yellowwoodII (268 posts)
7. You are so right.
I agree with you.
In the meantime, get your DNA tested. It's amazing to see how accurately they are able to identify your relatives. It costs $100, and you find siblings and up to fourth cousins if they have been tested.
KamaAina (60,849 posts)
9. Great. If you live in a Red state, you probably can't vote.
WHAT? She have a birth certificate, you retard! She just claims she is a victem becuase it isn't the original. During that time adopted children or those put up for adoption were given an open birth certificate. You didn't get it filled out until the adoption was complete. Myself, I have a birthdate or 23 June and yet the certificate is dated 18 August. It was a nutroll to get it into the Army's mind my actual birthdate wasn't the date the certificate was signed...
Not a huge issue. Hasn't caused me mental anguish. I am happy with the end state. My parents- adopted ones, were great. I have no real want to meet my birth ones. Couldn't be better than the people who raised me.
Runningdawg (145 posts)
10. I live in a red state. I am adopted and I can vote. I have a legal birth certificate, it's just made up BS. It has my adoptive parents names on it. While I agree that adoptees should be able to know the truth about their bio parents, I can also see where that would cause privacy concerns for those parents. Its a catch22.
^ see?
me b zola (18,061 posts)
13. No, there is no catch 22
Above and beyond the fact that natural mothers do not seek and are not promised "privacy", aodptees should be treated as other humans who have access to their own history. I am trying very hard to remain true to my OP and write solely from the adoptee rights POV, but there is much that first-mothers have to say about this. But continuing on, the fact that an adult creates a child does not give them the right to obligate me to a lifelong to a contract without my permission..
For kept children, an unwilling father is still obligated to pay child support. He may have absolutely no desire to parent, yet he is a parent. Using this analogy is scary to me because people who wish to misunderstand adoptee rights will conflate the analogy in all the wrong ways. As you probably know, adoptees are in no way shape or form seeking any monetary gain. The analogy is only meant to highlight the fact that just because you wish to wave a wand and make something (or someone whom you are responsible for bringing into this world) dismissed does not make it so. No one is suggesting that anyone be forced into a relationship that they do not want, but no one has the right to deny me the truth about my origins.
There is no "catch 22" when it comes to adoptee rights. I just demand the same rights as non-adopted persons.
Explain to me what rights you don't have as an 'adopted person'?
ncjustice80 (637 posts)
57. Probably red state anti-abortion bullshit. Instead of doing the right thing and providing access to abortions to terminate unwanted pregnacies, the rethugs come up with inane policies like not letting ppl have access to their own birth certificates
^ total bullshit and just plain evil. Adopted kids should have been aborted? **** you shithead.
me b zola (18,061 posts)
23. And I bet your birth certificate list their names...way to miss the point, but thats okay
question everything (27,128 posts)
18. Would you have rather your birth mother performed an abortion?
Being a woman, and a mother yourself, can you not put yourself in her position?
In 1962 single mothers were rare and abortion was life threatening. She probably was a young woman, a girl, maybe, who just wanted to have this sad episode behind her. To start anew. Is this so bad?
She signed the adoption papers with a promise of secrecy that this birth would never come back to haunt her.
If it is only about a birth certificate, can one be issued, with all the details covered?
Yes, today we are all for adopted children to find their original family, for, at least, find out medical information, a bone marrow donor if needed.
I think that in many cases, the adoption agency contacts the mother and if she agrees, then there is a meeting.
And what about your adoptive parents? I hope that they were loving, caring ones. I hope that you've considered themselves your real parents. Parents are the ones who nurture us, who mold us, who are there when we fall and who cheer us when we fail.
I feel sorry for you and for your adoptive parents if you've carried this anger for all your lives. And, yes, I think your children and grandchildren deserve a better appreciation of what a parent is.
Yes, I can sympathize with your anger and a sense of helplessness, but I can empathize with your birth mother. Sorry.
It is your birthday, why not let it go, determine that, yes, life is to short to continue wallow in this anger?
Some sanity from a DUmpmonkie. Obviously a troll.
me b zola (18,061 posts)
22. Apparently you don't question everything, or at least not enough of yourself
I have previously responded to the odious and hateful "well, swallow it whole or I wish you aborted" posts from other threads. Today I am making every attempt to not be derailed by the likes of posts like yours~although as of right now you are the only person to post hate to this thread.
Tomorrow, though, I may make a post just for you and your issues.
What a hate filled bitch.
