http://www.democraticunderground.com/11515626Oh my.
Big Mo's on the thread, but later.
Still Blue in PDX (1,663 posts) Tue Feb 17, 2015, 08:19 AM
Not sure if I'm a loner or shy to the point of it being a disability.
I've spent a lifetime (I'm 60, so that's a considerable length of time) telling myself I'm just a loner, but if that was true, why am I so miserably lonely?
OTOH, if I wasn't a loner, why would I be emotionally drained by groups of people, even when those people are my grown children and their families?
Maybe I'm just too lazy to put the effort into maintaining relationships.
polly7 (13,127 posts) Tue Feb 17, 2015, 08:26 AM
1. Are you seeing anyone for depression or for how you're feeling?
I've fought depression most of my life and when it gets really bad, I can't stand being around people. I do it because I have to, but it's always a relief to get home and be alone. I find that choosing the 'right' people to be around helps me the most - those that make me laugh, and think, and aren't emotionally draining with judgement of me or anyone else, and who I just enjoy being with.
It's hard. But you deserve to have interaction you enjoy and remember with happiness. Pick your friends wisely and appreciate them as they will you. That's all I've got, but it's helped me. I don't think anyone should be completely alone too much, it's damaging, and sad.
polly7 (13,127 posts) Tue Feb 17, 2015, 09:08 AM
3. I always focus on others thoughts, ideas, ambitions, etc.
My Dad always told me I cared too much, and I do ..... knowing the problems of others and not being able to help bothers me, a lot. But I'm thrilled for them when good things in life happen.
I've had a life filled with many things I wouldn't wish on anyone, so no ... I don't talk about that much. I don't like making others feel bad. There are better things to talk about. Laughter! is something that helps me more than anything, and I've found a group of people who are not only compassionate, smart, adventurous, but also hilarious to be around, and that works for me.
mopinko (43,152 posts) Tue Feb 17, 2015, 09:19 AM
4. you sound like me.
tho i wouldnt classify myself as a loner, as i do enjoy people immensely, there are times when i feel like my skin is paper thin.
isolating is something that i do when the depression is bad. family, especially, can be very hard. i cant be around them, yet i miss them horribly.
do you think you might be suffering from depression?
Still Blue in PDX (1,663 posts) Tue Feb 17, 2015, 12:42 PM
5. I have had a diagnosis of depression in the past.
I have a doctor appointment in several weeks and will see about getting on something for it. I hate taking medication and wish I could just fix myself.
<<<had a diagnosis of depression once.
Getting a job cured it. Instantly.
mopinko (43,152 posts) Tue Feb 17, 2015, 01:15 PM
8. ya gotta do what you gotta do.
i dont think you should feel that way. if your liver wasnt working, you wouldnt think you could just fix it.
it is possible to get past needing meds with a lot of talk therapy. but even then, it helps to be on an even keel.
And now, the resident nut:
hunter (21,049 posts) Tue Feb 17, 2015, 05:09 PM
10. I hate my meds, but I've long since abandoned all hope of "fix myself."
Every day in my life is a new adventure.
Any morning I might choose not to get out of bed, to stop eating, to stop talking, to stop breathing...
Been there, done that.
At my very worst I've closely orbited the black hole as a six foot plus homeless skeleton man suffering pneumonia.
Fortunately for me, Hunter, "off his meds," I've never experienced a long wait in the E.R.., not more than six hours.
I've always had advocates. Friends, family, and occasionally cops who counted me among the amusing and mostly harmless.
I do not venture silently into the darkness. Suicide has never appealed to me. I've always been gifted with many utterly useless OCD tasks I must complete. I've always known that "if I was dead" then my fingers, hands, arms, and eyes would no longer be functional. And then I couldn't do all my useless OCD things.
There's an itchy hair follicle on my skin demanding attention, failed hair shedding, or twisted multiple shaft ingrown hair, I pick at it, I pluck it out, score!!! Blood! Waxy puss! A BB sized cyst! Many extra points!
If that sounds disgusting, then you don't want to know about my computer stuff.
Once upon a time, long ago, myself a naive innocent, was abused by bad people who paid me well, used me.
The last E.R. time for crazy ass Hunter self was early 'eighties. At first they thought it was illegal drugs.
Hah, hah, it was drugs they'd prescribed me. Steroids make me crazier than I am normally.
Prednisone family are my favorite drugs. For a few days I'm thinking, "wow, is this everyone's normal? I like it! I like it a lot!" My skin and my mucous membranes and my lungs and my guts, all the noisy parts of my body and mind stop screaming at me 24-7! I sleep. I have ordinary dreams.
But inevitably, after about five days later, things always got crazier.
I like to think it's me even further normal, and the world at fault, but that doesn't explain my bloody bare feet or losing my clothes past midnight on the beach.
I suffered early 'eighties.
My last crazy E.R. visit was 1987. Meds since then, both asthma and crazy, have improved immensely.
Beyond early 'eighties, my E.R. times have been utterly boring and mundane. Ordinary vascular, lung, and mumps-scarred-testicular plumbing issues.
I will confess, I sorta miss my youthful crazy days, but hell yes, I still think some still owe me.
