My wife is lucky I don't shit on the seat...........wait.......... 
On a side note.......if you ever get a chance, cover the opening to the toilet with saran wrap, then see what happens when the wife goes to pee in the middle of the night. Not that I've ever done it, I just want to know what the reaction would be?
When I was in college, a couple of lifetimes ago....I was a little sister for Sigma Chi. One of the things we did when the pledges were going through.....was we "pimped" the house.
Basically we did semi-destructive stuff with food, Easter egg dye, and stuff like saran wrap. If we didn't get caught by any of the brothers.....the pledges had to clean it up.....if we got caught then we would have to clean it up.
We found that doing it about 3am after Monday Night Football was a good time to do it.....and not get caught.
We covered all the toilets with saran wrap and then put the lids down. Heard it wasn't pretty.

We took pancake syrup and poured it down the hallways (they were tile) and then sprinkled cornflakes, sugar and flour in it.....it dried nicely.....

We unscrewed the shower heads and put Easter egg dye tablets in them, then screwed them back on.....red, purple, green and orange bodies.....

We covered room door handles with honey and the doors to the outside with vaseline....made it harder to find us.
We squirted mustard and ketchup in the sinks.
We never did get caught.....but we were on the pledges shit list for a couple of weeks....
