A Guide to the Charlie Hebdo Shooting Conspiracy Theories

[dutch508]

cali (97,304 posts) http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026081468

A Guide to the Charlie Hebdo Shooting Conspiracy Theories

It's inevitable that in the wake of tragedy, sorrow and mourning give way to think pieces, handwringing, and a flock of deranged conspiracy theories. Here, a guide to some of the most creative ideas about the Charlie Hebdo murders, proposed by everyone from Russian tabloid editors to a Turkish mayor.

1) "Magical Jews" orchestrated the Charlie Hebdo attacks to make Muslims look bad.
This one's reportedly popular in some Muslim-heavy French suburbs like Sevren, where many abstained from attending the weekend's massive "Je Suis Charlie" rallies for fear of retaliation. The Daily Beast spoke with Sevren residents who believe that the weapons and I.D. cards found at the crime scene were intentionally placed there to implicate Muslims. "It was a conspiracy designed by the Jews to make Muslims look bad," one man told the Beast.

Others the Daily Beast spoke to believed the event to be the work of enchanted Jewish people. Those who planned the attack are a "'hybrid race of shape shifters' who have extraordinary abilities," reports the Beast. "They know how to get in everywhere," one man said. "They are master manipulators."

2) The United States government did it. suprised this one isn't No. 1
According to the notorious conspiracy-theory cesspool Infowars, the United States government may have taken a break from planning the next Benghazi to "sponsor" the Charlie Hebdo killers. "Who ordered the attack against Charlie Hebdo?" asks French 9/11 conspiracy theorist Thierry Meyssan in a post on the site, pointing out that the Kouachi brothers' actions differ from a close-read interpretation of jihadist theory. "We should consider all assumptions and admit that at this stage, its most likely purpose is to divide us; and its sponsors are most likely in Washington."

Meyssan isn't alone in this theory. The front page of a popular Russian tabloid published yesterday asked, "Did the Americans plan the Paris terror attacks?" The Telegraph writes that this is just one example of a number of conspiracy theories regarding the attack and the U.S. government that have come out of Russia in recent days.

3) Mossad, the Israeli intelligence service, planned the attack. really this is just an offshoot of No. 1 JOOOOOOOOOS!!!!
Melih Gokcek, the mayor of the Turkish city Ankara, said that he believed Israel was behind the shooting in order to "boost enmity towards Islam."

“Mossad is definitely behind such incidents," Gokcek said, according to the Financial Times. He also drew parallels between France's moves to recognize a Palestinian state and the attack.

<snip>

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/01/guide-to-the-charlie-hebdo-conspiracy-theories.html?mid=google

Let's see...

JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS! (magical)
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH! (eh...)
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS! (mossad)

come on...

zappaman (13,915 posts)
5. If you dig down deep enough in most CTs, you eventually get to THE JOOOOOOWZ!!!!!!
Sickening that some folks fall for these CTs so easily.

 

NYC_SKP (64,487 posts)
6. Yes, I don't buy into the very convenient "Damn Muslims" meme that so many find comfortable.

Truth is rarely comfortable, and as a skeptic of all things pushed by the media and the right wing, I tend to look deeper.

I don't believe that this event is about the cartoons; it was about making the biggest splash with the least amount of effort and Hebdo was perfect.

I believe that groups that stood to benefit, fringe groups, power groups, MIC groups, separately or in combination organized and launched this effort.

But it's not the Muslim faith, and it wasn't about the image of the prophet.

That whole story line is for suckers, and there is no shortage of them.

Just turn on the TV.

 

NYC_SKP (64,487 posts)
36. There's no bullying or nastiness or swarming on this board. Nope, nothing like that.

What is peculiar is when it comes right out for all to see.

comeon, gimme kiss

Skippy will be the next DUmpmonkey to pull a Nadin.

Warren Stupidity (41,109 posts)
67. And out comes the victim card! Yup, after tacking from horrendous victim blaming to absurd truther bullshit, the problem is not with what you are posting, the problem is the people reading your posts and commenting on them with insufficient deference. It really borders on blasphemy.

 
Standard Lib play card.

geek tragedy (42,514 posts)
34. So, who is behind the false flag operation you're claiming is at play here?

 

I thought we covered that! Magical shape shifting Jews running the US MIC under Bush (also a MSSJ* [magical shape shifting jew]) had the mossad do it.

Boreal (635 posts)
41. The usual suspects?

Second, there is absolutely zero doubt, none whatsoever, that the AngloZionist Empire is behind the "transnational Takfiri infection" of our planet. It all began during the Cold War and the "brilliant" Brzezinski/CIA plan to unleash the crazies against the Soviet forces in Afghanistan. This is when the US literally financed, organized, trained, equipped and, most importantly, federated the Wahabi freaks for the first time. Since, we saw them in action in Chechina, Bosnia, Kosovo, Libya, Syria, Iraq, and many other places and now we see them "in action" in Paris. Hollande, Sarko and his "unofficial Foreign Minister" Bernard Henri-Levi played a key role in unleashing these monsters against Libya and Syria just as the French "New (pseudo-) Philosophers" like Alain Finkelkraut played a key role in unleashing these monsters against Bosnia. So here is the key point I will stress in bold: the Takfiri maniacs who committed all the murders in France are NOT "children" of the "Islamic Umma" but of the French deep-state and the Anglo-Zionist Empire. They "own" these freaks, not Hassan Nasrallah or Ramzan Kadyrov!

Third, the propaganda machine of the AngloZionist Empire is telling us that "Islam is the enemy" or that "Islam is not compatible with western values". But to prove their point they use examples which prove nothing: the example of the Takfiri crazies unleashed, I will never cease to repeat it, by the AngloZionists. The merits and faults of Islam as a religion have nothing to do with the events of Paris. Nothing. Takfirism is to Islam what Nazism is to the Western civilization: a vicious and pathological expression of demonic hatred masquerading as the defense of a culture/civilization/religion. Nazism does not "prove" that the West is inherently evil and Takfirism does not prove that about Islam. Now, please pay attention, it *might* be that there is something really wrong (or not) with western civilization or Islam, but you cannot prove that by using the example of Nazism or Takfirism.


http://vineyardsaker.blogspot.com/2015/01/open-letter-to-saker-community-and-all.html

I would add the the "freedom of speech" thread running through this narrative is also BS. France doesn't have freedom speech. It has strict hate speech laws against insulting any religion or race as well as questioning anything about the holocaust. Brigitte Bardot has been prosecuted no less than five times for "offensive" remarks about Islam so how is it that Charlie Hebdo has been able to churn out not only offensive but downright obscene material in violation of those same hate speech laws?

 

Boreal (635 posts)
63. There is nothing even remotely "anti Semitic" about that blog. Yes, I encourage everyone to read everything, even *gasp* blogs that might give a Muslim perspective (not that that blog is Muslim, it is not). I routinely read all sorts of political opinion and perspectives, including foreign, as well some through translator sites. I even read writers and sites I never agree with, or downright hate, just to get a clear picture of what's out there.

What you are doing is trying to bully me and anyone else who might read whatever is not on your approved circle jerk echo chamber reading list (and I loathe bullies). That's fine if one wants to be a programmed robot instead of a thinking human being who exposes themselves to a wide variety of information in order to form a better rounded viewpoint.

Now, go ahead and take issue with what was written in that snip I posted, the main point being that it was the United States with it's support for the Mujahideen, which morphed into Al Qaeda, that began this world wide scourge of fanatical Islamic terrorism.

 

uppityperson (90,723 posts)
16. A hybrid race of shape shifters????? How does one even begin to counter that?

 

[thundley4]

Out of the three theories the OP listed:

The United States government did it. suprised this one isn't No. 1
According to the notorious conspiracy-theory cesspool Infowars, the United States government may have taken a break from planning the next Benghazi to "sponsor" the Charlie Hebdo killers.

Is the most reasonable. After all, it was only a couple of years ago that Obama condemned the cartoonists at Charlie Hebdo for making fun of Muslims.

[JohnnyReb]

If you think this is bad, just wait until we get the last few bugs worked out of the new right wing time machine.

[FiddyBeowulf]

If you think this is bad, just wait until we get the last few bugs worked out of the new right wing time machine.

When it starts working again we need to take it back to the scene of the Charlie Hebdo incident and leave a few copies of "Dreams of my father" for the police to find. The CTs that would create would be epic.

[Carl]

Pretty much the same assortment of lunatic idiocy the left believes about 9/11.

[Carl]

     NYC_SKP (64,487 posts)
    6. Yes, I don't buy into the very convenient "Damn Muslims" meme that so many find comfortable.

    Truth is rarely comfortable, and as a skeptic of all things pushed by the media and the right wing, I tend to look deeper.

    I don't believe that this event is about the cartoons; it was about making the biggest splash with the least amount of effort and Hebdo was perfect.

    I believe that groups that stood to benefit, fringe groups, power groups, MIC groups, separately or in combination organized and launched this effort.

    But it's not the Muslim faith, and it wasn't about the image of the prophet.

    That whole story line is for suckers, and there is no shortage of them.

    Just turn on the TV.

Barry has spent too much time with his head in the pizza oven.

[SVPete]

Doesn't "AngloZionist Empire" come pretty close to being an oxymoron? In addition to being simply moronic?

[obumazombie]

Doesn't "AngloZionist Empire" come pretty close to being an oxymoron? In addition to being simply moronic?

Yes. And furthermore, who do the Anglos get top billing ?
Shouldn't it be the ZionAngloist Empire ?

[BlueStateSaint]

Yes. And furthermore, who do the Anglos get top billing ?
Shouldn't it be the ZionAngloist Empire ?

It's more alphabetical as "AngloZionist."  You know, the Beginning and the End . . .

[zeitgeist]

It's more alphabetical as "AngloZionist."  You know, the Beginning and the End . . .

I was in a car pool with a guy who owned an Omega. 

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8lYaxLNk1M[/youtube]

I realize this comment probably makes as much sense as anything in that OP.  Dutch, you are on fire today, an alpha poster.   

Next week:   Col. Mustard with a candle stick takes on Shape Shifting Jooooooos.   Wait for it.   

[98ZJUSMC]

1) "Magical Jews" orchestrated the Charlie Hebdo attacks to make Muslims look bad.
This one's reportedly popular in some Muslim-heavy French suburbs like Sevren, where many abstained from attending the weekend's massive "Je Suis Charlie" rallies for fear of retaliation. The Daily Beast spoke with Sevren residents who believe that the weapons and I.D. cards found at the crime scene were intentionally placed there to implicate Muslims. "It was a conspiracy designed by the Jews to make Muslims look bad," one man told the Beast.

Others the Daily Beast spoke to believed the event to be the work of enchanted Jewish people. Those who planned the attack are a "'hybrid race of shape shifters' who have extraordinary abilities," reports the Beast. "They know how to get in everywhere," one man said. "They are master manipulators."

 

“Mossad is definitely behind such incidents," Gokcek said, according to the Financial Times. He also drew parallels between France's moves to recognize a Palestinian state and the attack.

Of course.



.....and shape-shifting ones, at that.

uppityperson (90,723 posts)
16. A hybrid race of shape shifters????? How does one even begin to counter that?

No, retard.  More like, "How does one even come up with that?"

[98ZJUSMC]

Boreal (635 posts)

Experts always disagree with me......

CONSPIRACY!

[delilahmused]

I'm always suspicious when the DUmmies start defending the Jews.

Cindie

[FlaGator]

And people wonder what is wrong with America...

[Ptarmigan]