Okay let me see if I understand this. He's being stalked by Chinese satellites because of mispelled words and excessive use of the word "that". He knows this because he turned on the radio one time and it was playing "Don't Do Me Like That". Well, and there are articles about the Zodiac killer which overuse the word "that" and he does astrology (i.e. the zodiac) for a hobby...obviously not a coincidence.
The Chinese satellite agency, who also spies on world leaders, has decided this particular DUmmie, who has less significance to the Chinese than a gnat on the First Wookie's ass, to be a threat to their national security, or something. Somehow their satellites have been busy trying to convince the NSA to spy on this idiot by disrupting his emails, shutting down his computer and other nefarious deeds to declare victory over him, for no apparent reason.
Luckily, he was able to avoid some nefarious spying by causing a talking aquarium to lie to the Chinese. Evidently the Rio Grande can also talk at his behest. However, the DUmmie can't give away all his secrets because a copycat Zodiac killer might be reading his post. I guess that's bad.
I'm going outside now to expirement with concrete blocks, chicken wire and newspapers to see if I can prove taking down the twin towers was an inside job because it makes more sense.
Cindie