Little Star (14,677 posts)
How To Deal With The Narcissist In Your Life....
The Narcissist in Your Family
blah-blah-blah
Boreal (441 posts)
43. They don't have an inner moral compass
They are aware of right and wrong through observation only. When they think they can get away with something outside of what's morally accepted, they go for it. If caught or called out, they lie and blame others. They never take personal responsibility for anything. They may PRETEND to if they think it will score points and fool others.
OwnedByCats (799 posts)
54. You nailed that right on the head absolutely
It's very disturbing for those of us who are a witness or victim of this behavior and mindset. I could not for the life of me understand it. All I ended up understanding was that it could not change. I'm so very grateful to have that very toxic person out of my life. Nothing good was ever going to come of that relationship. As predicted of course, he blamed me entirely for the failure of that relationship. It didn't matter that everything always had to be about him - the worst sin I could possibly commit was trying to make anything about me, even for a moment. He would say I was being selfish if I dared to do that. It didn't matter that he was incredibly untrusting (never believed anything I said) and verbally and emotionally abusive. He was controlling about everything from what I could wear to who I could be friends with (friendships with men were completely forbidden). It didn't matter that he had absolutely no empathy for me about anything. It didn't matter that he lied to me about practically everything. Just like you said, no personal responsibility whatsoever. He was a pro at turning everything around on me. It all was my fault alone in his eyes. Like I said, in the beginning it was different - he would say things he knew I wanted to hear, not meaning any of it of course. He did that to reel me in to him initially. Once he felt he had me hooked he stopped doing that almost entirely. Occasionally he'd still feed me something I wanted to hear (but of course would never materialize), but 95% of the time it was his way and if I didn't like it - too damn bad. I told him if things didn't change I was done, he just laughed at me or ignored me completely. I even laid it out in e-mails about how destructive he was and how much it hurt me, he claimed he would not even read them. His behavior actually got worse after I would take issue with something. The worst thing about this was he was in the middle of getting a degree in psychology! Can you believe that?? I don't know if he finished, I had to get out of there for the sake of my own sanity.
One good thing did come of my experience though - after I left him, I met the wonderful man who is now my husband and I appreciate him so much more than I would have had I not experienced the hell that was being in a relationship with a narcissist.
Boreal (441 posts)
55. Your experience is typical
And sociopaths ALWAYS try to isolate those they want to control because they don't want you talking about them to those they don't control. They don't like being exposed and you become harder to control with input from outside parties.
There is a website called "Sociopath World" that's interesting, if sickening, to read. I could only take so much of it because it's mainly sociopaths posting and they lie like rugs. It does give insight into their twisted thinking, though. I saw a post there ridiculing narcissists, their sort of lesser brethren. Narcissists are obsessed with other people's opinions about them (they're always telling everyone how great they are) where those on the pure sociopath end of the spectrum don't give a shit what others think of them. It was kind of amusing to read one group of psychos dissing the other.
Boreal (441 posts)
12. This is correct
DO NOT PUT UP WITH THEM. They are dangerous and will destroy anyone else when it suits them. It makes me sick to know that parents teach kids that the most reprehensible soul sucking 'people' need to be put up with. They don't. Accommodate them at your own peril. Been there, got the t-shirt and barely survived it.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026006830So how does proglodytism work?
"Hey you, yes, you. I was wondering if we might talk.
"Well, you kind of caught my eye. To be honest I've never met anyone like you before and I was thinking it would be nice if we could spend some time together.
"What? You're coming off of a string of bad relationships with some monarchs and dictators and you just want to spend some alone time? Baby, I'm nothing like those guys; I'll give you free health care, a living wage and equality.
"They said the same thing? Yeah, but I'm different.
"Yes, of course I can give you all those things. Look at me, I graduated from Harvard, I believe in SCIENCE! better than anyone else and I don't bother with that silly mumbo-jumbo they spew at those fantasy factories called churches. Nope, no mythology here; it's all about the one-hundred percent awesomeness of...me.
"You go to church? Are you sure you should be hanging out with people like that? I mean, assuming they're even 'people,' being the bunch bigoted rubes that they are.
"Hey! Wait. Where are you going? I said I could give you free health care, a living wage and equality.
"Wh-wha -- WHAT?! You don't NEED me?!? You think you're going to do this all on your own?
"'Self-reliant'? Oh my god, would you listen to yourself. Oh, oh, I get it; you got what you wanted so to Hell with me, huh? That's your problem: you're ungrateful. I do everything for you and this is how you repay me you selfish little,
BITCH!"I know what this is about.
"You're seeing someone else, aren't you?
"It's that FOX guy down the street, isn't it? I see you looking at him. Watching him. He's turned you against me.
"I'll show him. I'll show the both of you."
