I went to the store. ALL the lights were on. all the house lights were on. all my lights were left on whilst I was gone. No one was turning off their lights in Des Moines that I could see.
It wasn't until I got back and perused the DUmpster that I realized I really hate the Earth.
Yes DUmmies. I do hate the Earth. I am its master, not the other way around. If this floating dirtball has feelings, it had better be one of subservience, or I'll kick it in the groin again.
Oh wait, Gaia is supposed to be a girl. Well its a Bitch Slap for you again, Gaia. and don't start getting all uppity. I have an aerosol spray and I'm not afraid to use it. Now I'm gonna nuke some popcorn, bitch. You better pray to whatever dirt clods pray to that I don't have a hamster to pop in there too.
So what didn't you do for the earth today. Don't tell me you were watching a (gasp) giant screen, energy eating, TV were you?