I'm not racist. But...........

[ChuckJ]

I've been guilty as hell every time I've ever been stopped. A simple polite yes sir or no sir got me out of more tickets than anything else.....But DUmmies wouldn't know anything about being respectful or polite.

I've been guilty every time except once and I still haven't figured that one out. I thought I was doing 60 in a 55 zone. The deputy claimed I was running over 75 but he didn't hit the button until I was down to 73 (whatever that means). I made no mention of how fast I thought I was going to the deputy or my passenger. I didn't figure there was any use since the deputy had the badge, the gun, and the ticket book. After the he finished giving me the ticket and walked back to his car I asked my passenger if he happened to notice how fast I had been going. He said that he looked at the speedometer when he saw the cop car and it said 60. I thought my speedometer might be out of whack so I drove about 45 the rest of the way home (about 50 miles). Everyone was passing me. The next day I got my wife to follow me with her truck and her speedometer reading matched mine.

[JohnnyReb]

I've been guilty every time except once and I still haven't figured that one out. I thought I was doing 60 in a 55 zone. The deputy claimed I was running over 75 but he didn't hit the button until I was down to 73 (whatever that means). I made no mention of how fast I thought I was going to the deputy or my passenger. I didn't figure there was any use since the deputy had the badge, the gun, and the ticket book. After the he finished giving me the ticket and walked back to his car I asked my passenger if he happened to notice how fast I had been going. He said that he looked at the speedometer when he saw the cop car and it said 60. I thought my speedometer might be out of whack so I drove about 45 the rest of the way home (about 50 miles). Everyone was passing me. The next day I got my wife to follow me with her truck and her speedometer reading matched mine.

I had a 4-door 1985 3/4 ton GMC converted to a dually. I put 2 sizes larger radial tires on it for a extremely smooth ride. I knew the speedometer was off a little. I drove it for 4 years without a ticket, about 200,000 miles, went everywhere in it, pulled a camper with it.

I came out of NC one day with the cruise set on 55. An SC patrolman wet me in the road and swung around. I continued on at 55 and he soon caught up and followed me for several miles. I can't stand people who speed and then slam on brakes at the sight of a patrolman. Anywhere way, he stopped me, said I was doing 69 mph. I asked him if he really thought I'd continue speeding with his nose up my butt. Well, he did make the ticket for 64 so my insurance wouldn't go up and I told him I'd see him in court if he was wrong.

I got the speedometer checked and he was dead-on accurate. I got weak in the knees when I thought about it. There had been times when I came out of Florida on I-95 doing 75 (92 mph) pulling a camper. Haven't had a ticket since 1990.

[vesta111]

  I borrowed a friends NOVA in the 1980's to take the kids to MacDonald's.   While waiting in line for the the call box  in I noticed a couple cops behind me with a tape measure.

They came up to my window and after handing over my license and the owners registration and insurance was told that the back end of the car was too high off the ground.'?????????????????????

A new law had been passed that bumpers on cars could not exceed so many inches from the ground.   WHY?????? Who the hell knows.

I was not held at fault for this but darn the cops scared the hell out of my 4 kids, very pleasent to me and told me not to drive that car again.    

Has anyone out there any idea what this was all about, to this day I wonder what was going on as I was too afraid to ask.----This was in Virginia Tide Water Area.

[Evil_Conservative]

  I borrowed a friends NOVA in the 1980's to take the kids to MacDonald's.   While waiting in line for the the call box  in I noticed a couple cops behind me with a tape measure.

They came up to my window and after handing over my license and the owners registration and insurance was told that the back end of the car was too high off the ground.'?????????????????????

A new law had been passed that bumpers on cars could not exceed so many inches from the ground.   WHY?????? Who the hell knows.

I was not held at fault for this but darn the cops scared the hell out of my 4 kids, very pleasent to me and told me not to drive that car again.     

Has anyone out there any idea what this was all about, to this day I wonder what was going on as I was too afraid to ask.----This was in Virginia Tide Water Area.

I have a huge beef with people that own huge trucks and lift them five feet off the ground.  They look like monsters trucks coming up on you down the road.  I hate it.  Then I also get annoyed with little ricers who lower their cars so low that their car would scrape if they hit a pebble in the road.  Both vehicles end up shining their headlights right in my mirror.  It's so bad that I have to fold my mirror in until they pass me or turn down another road.

[NHSparky]

I just tell them I'm speeding so I can get home before they set up the DUI checkpoints.

They never seem to find that one funny.  Strange....

[ChuckJ]

I had a 4-door 1985 3/4 ton GMC converted to a dually. I put 2 sizes larger radial tires on it for a extremely smooth ride. I knew the speedometer was off a little. I drove it for 4 years without a ticket, about 200,000 miles, went everywhere in it, pulled a camper with it.

I came out of NC one day with the cruise set on 55. An SC patrolman wet me in the road and swung around. I continued on at 55 and he soon caught up and followed me for several miles. I can't stand people who speed and then slam on brakes at the sight of a patrolman. Anywhere way, he stopped me, said I was doing 69 mph. I asked him if he really thought I'd continue speeding with his nose up my butt. Well, he did make the ticket for 64 so my insurance wouldn't go up and I told him I'd see him in court if he was wrong.

I got the speedometer checked and he was dead-on accurate. I got weak in the knees when I thought about it. There had been times when I came out of Florida on I-95 doing 75 (92 mph) pulling a camper. Haven't had a ticket since 1990.

I had actually put a different brand of tires on several days before and initially thought that there was a small chance that may have been the problem, but I doubted it. And like I said, my speedometer checked with my wife's afterward and she still had the tires that came on her truck from the factory. Several months later I was talking to a deputy in my county about it. He asked if there were any other vehicles on the road. I told him that a dump truck was coming up behind me. He claimed that there are two kinds of radar. One locks on the largest moving object. One locks where ever you point it. I have no idea of how much truth there is to that.

By the way, most of my trips on 95 in Florida you'd get ran over going the speed limit. I'm a big country music fan, but the last I-95/Florida trip I slid an AC/DC cd in the cd player when I got on 95. Then as soon as a got off I slid in a Bellamy Brothers cd. My wife wanted to know what that was all about. I told her that AC/DC was to get me in the right mind-set for 95 and the Bellamy Brothers was to calm my nerves afterward.

[TexasCop]

The best way to not get a ticket is courtesy.  Make it hard for the cop to write you.  Try to be a person to him rather than just another motorist.  It's not 100%, but it increases your odds.  The best way to get a ticket (from me, at least) is to argue, flirt with me, show your boobs to me or cry.

[IassaFTots]

The best way to not get a ticket is courtesy.  Make it hard for the cop to write you.  Try to be a person to him rather than just another motorist.  It's not 100%, but it increases your odds.  The best way to get a ticket (from me, at least) is to argue, flirt with me, show your boobs to me or cry.

There hasn't been one time that I have been pulled over, that I didn't know why I was being pulled over.  Every time, I mind my p's and q's.  Hands on the steering wheel, fingers up, wait until I am asked for insurance, and then say it is in my glove box, etc.  I have never once tried to do any of those things, because the simple fact was I got busted breaking the law.  Speeding, or my most favorite of all times, expired registration/inspection.  I was so notorious for that back in the day, I got called in to speak with a judge.   

I don't do that any more. 

[DumbAss Tanker]

DAMN!!!111


I wish I were a cop...


I would have pulled out my service firearm, placed it against the back of your head, and fired THREE times!

(Did I fulfill your bouncy fantasy DUmmy???)

Try again loser, you FAILED!!!111

Bouncy fail.  No bushes.

[Texacon]

There hasn't been one time that I have been pulled over, that I didn't know why I was being pulled over.  Every time, I mind my p's and q's.  Hands on the steering wheel, fingers up, wait until I am asked for insurance, and then say it is in my glove box, etc.   I have never once tried to do any of those things, because the simple fact was I got busted breaking the law.  Speeding, or my most favorite of all times, expired registration/inspection.  I was so notorious for that back in the day, I got called in to speak with a judge.   

I don't do that any more. 

When I traveled around the country building water towers I used to get pulled over all the time.  I have always gotten out of my vehicle, walked back to the cop while grabbing my wallet out of my back pocket and holding my insurance card.  It has never been a problem except one time.

Me and a buddy got pulled over on Ft. Bragg.  We both got out and started back to the MP's car and were both met with .45's leveled at us and a very polite request that we get back in the vehicle.

I used to get pulled over 8 or 9 times a year and every single time I walked back and visited with the cop.  It always surprised me that I wasn't asked to get back in my truck because I'm a rather large guy.

It must be my kind face.   

KC

[JohnnyReb]

I'm not racist. But........... 22 more months of O'bama and his crew of communist blacks and I will be...and I won't be alone.

[korporal_krakrs]

I have been pulled over twice in my life. Once when I was 17 years old. I was drunk and it was 2:30 in the morning. My friend was about to throw up so I was panicking. My mom would have kicked my ass if she puked in my car. He told me to say my ABC's. I sung them, yes I was that drunk. He let me go and told me to drive straight home...which I did. I was releaved that he let me go but now that I am an adult it pisses me off.  What if I had run into another car and killed someone?  The cop let me go with a warning (driving through a yellow light).

The 2nd time I was driving over the bridge from Lewisville to Denton (for those of you from Dallas). My mom and kids were in the car. I didn't have a license plate on the front of my car. My husband refuses to put it on the front of my car because he doesn't want to drill holes in the front bumper. I blamed my husband and the officer let me go with a warning. This was several cars ago, my husband has yet tp put a license plate on any of my cars. If I get pulled over again for it I am going to tell the cop to tmake the ticket out to my husband.  

I got a story similar to both of these in one.  When I was younger (HS or so), we used to hang out at Conan's Pizza (for you Austin people!).  We knew everyone that worked there so we got free beer all the time.  So we were getting drunk one night (yeah yeah, a long time ago) and were getting pretty rowdy out front.  The cops showed up, KNEW we'd been drinking, and told us to LEAVE.  So we drove off and they immediately pulled me over for not having a license plate on the front of the car.  I drove an old Karmann Ghia at the time, so no, no license plate up there.  The cops arrested my buddies for being drunk (we got pulled over at a gas station and THEY went in to buy the cops donuts! - bad move if you're ever in the same situation).  Meanwhile I was rapping with the cops about the car (my ghia was quite awesome  haha), surfing in Cali, etc etc, and although they did write me a ticket for not having the license plate, they let me go otherwise.

My buddies spent the night in jail.  Seriously, they were begging for it.  Stupid stupid stupid.  They ended up getting off though because it came out the cops knew we were drinking and told us to drive away.  Not sure what happened to the cops ultimately, but yeah, looking back I hope they got in some kind of trouble for that.

EDIT: Yes, we were all underage, too!