OK, I read this diatribe three times and cannot figure out what sort of analogy word diarrhea salad this means.
Because you live in a Republican district, the neighbors complain about you smoking in your own home?  Why on earth do you blame it on your "Cheeto-lini" neighbors.  Libertarian Republicans are not puritanical on restricting self-destructive behavior.  That sounds more like a liberal Karen type behavior.  Perhaps some of the libs' favorite boogeyman stereotypical religious types frown upon smoking and drinking.
Similar to Rock-head, your "old" friend Uncle Ralphie lives in a four unit townhouse in the burbs.  (Thankfully at least 200 miles from that Neanderthal dunderhead.)  And yes, I'm still a smoker but only imbibe outdoors, even in the bitter Midwest winters.