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Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: BannedFromDU on December 20, 2013, 04:26:22 PM

Title: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: BannedFromDU on December 20, 2013, 04:26:22 PM
Quote
Star Member reflection (5,326 posts)

A Christmas carol for all the lurking Freepers

Last edited Fri Dec 20, 2013, 03:58 PM - Edit history (1)
(sung to the tune of "Holly Jolly Christmas")

Have Benghazi, 'ghazi Christmas
It's obsessed time of the year
Ho ho ho, dog whistles blow
As Boehner gulps his beer

Have Benghazi, 'ghazi Christmas
And when you squawk with white sheets
Say "You know, I miss Jim Crow,
and guns in hands of freaks!"

Oh
Ho
Dog whistles blow

Rush and E I B
Somebody thinks for you
"Dittos, I agree!"


Have Benghazi, 'ghazi Christmas
with disgraceful, livid smears
Oh, by Golly
Have Benghazi 'ghazi Christmas
this year!

(apologies to Burl Ives)



Oooh, how trenchant. Osacr Wilde is sucking an extra dick in hell to salute you. (http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024205848)


I'll give it a whirl:


You're a 'Mo

Oh the fags on DU are spiteful
they think butt sex is delightful
And they think you've no place to go, and
You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo!

They don't like too much moling
And they think your corn's for holing
They want their hands way down low, cause
You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo!

When they finally bugger good night
How they'll hate to pull out of your corn!
But if you'll really clench up tight
All the way home they'll feel warm

Their woody is slowly dying
And they don't put up with crying
Viagra's the only taste you'll know, cause
You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo!

Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Charles Henrickson on December 20, 2013, 05:04:59 PM
You know, DUmmie reflection--I assume you are lurking here--the first rule of satire, whether from the left or from the right, is that it has to be funny. Yours comes up woefully short in that respect. And the second rule, when dealing with song parodies in particular, is that you have to craft the parody with attention to detail--rhyme, meter, the words and syllables, etc.--matching your parody to the original. There is a certain craft to writing good parodies. You evidently have not learned that craft.

I, Charles Henrickson, the wag tailoring the doggerel, have written reams of satire over the years, including a plethora of parodies--btw, mostly at the expense of DUmmies like you. And for the most part, my parodies have been well received. You see, I make sure my stuff is actually funny before I post it (Rule One), and I pay attention to the details of the literary craft (Rule Two).

Now if you would like some lessons in how to do parodies, I could assist you. But be warned, I am a capitalist, and I would charge you for my tutelage.

Until then, DUmmie reflection, you might consider leaving this art form to people who actually know how to do it.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Chris_ on December 20, 2013, 05:10:45 PM
I'm sure the families of the men that were killed appreciate DUmmy reflection's contribution to the memory of their loved ones.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Mr Mannn on December 20, 2013, 05:37:11 PM
Oh little town of Washington. How truly screwed you are.
You think the people are asleep, and now you push too far.
Your lies and propaganda are met with disbelief.
Pajama boy's a laughing stock, he brought you naught but grief.

Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Carl on December 20, 2013, 05:45:50 PM
Treating the disaster,brutality and carnage of Benghazi as a joke shows the true evil that fills their hearts.

I know you lurking DUmbasses mock what eternity holds for you but you all fear it deep inside your being.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: jukin on December 20, 2013, 05:53:33 PM
WEAK.

BTW, my newest order of ammo came and my new desk is a door supported by old school Russian/Czechoslovakian 7.62 tuna cans of ammo. I wish I had this when I fired lazy insolent DUchebags years ago. 
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Freeper on December 20, 2013, 06:41:27 PM
What's next DUmmy a Dr Seuss rhyme in memory of September 11th?
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Tess Anderson on December 20, 2013, 08:20:06 PM
You know, DUmmie reflection--I assume you are lurking here--the first rule of satire, whether from the left or from the right, is that it has to be funny. Yours comes up woefully short in that respect. And the second rule, when dealing with song parodies in particular, is that you have to craft the parody with attention to detail--rhyme, meter, the words and syllables, etc.--matching your parody to the original. There is a certain craft to writing good parodies. You evidently have not learned that craft.

I, Charles Henrickson, the wag tailoring the doggerel, have written reams of satire over the years, including a plethora of parodies--btw, mostly at the expense of DUmmies like you. And for the most part, my parodies have been well received. You see, I make sure my stuff is actually funny before I post it (Rule One), and I pay attention to the details of the literary craft (Rule Two).

Now if you would like some lessons in how to do parodies, I could assist you. But be warned, I am a capitalist, and I would charge you for my tutelage.

Until then, DUmmie reflection, you might consider leaving this art form to people who actually know how to do it.

Doubt he could afford your services, since you'd have to rewrite the whole thing - that was just awful.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: USA4ME on December 20, 2013, 08:26:55 PM
I am surprised they seemingly don't care about an Ambassador who was a Democrat. To them he was nothing but cannon fodder of whom it was necessary to cast aside in order to prop up Dear Leader.

.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Tucker on December 20, 2013, 09:11:28 PM
And they think that they are so much smarter and more creative that us.  :lmao:
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: BlueStateSaint on December 20, 2013, 09:17:44 PM
I damn near spat pieces of chicken breast when I read BFDU's contribution (and I can't stop laughing!).  I needed my asthma inhaler when I read Charles' addition, and the capstone was Mr Mann's gem.  H5s have been given to all three.  I'm in the company of giants! :-) :lmao: :rotf: :rofl:
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Charles Henrickson on December 20, 2013, 10:21:59 PM
There once was a prog named "reflection"
Who thought he had written perfection
But if here he should lurk
Know it just didn't work
'Cause it wasn't funny, and you're not clever, and you're not very good at rhyme and meter and basic poem stuff like that, you know?
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: txradioguy on December 21, 2013, 04:20:48 AM
Cell phones ring
Are you listening
Every day
Less are working
A beautiful sight
That offends the Right
Walkin' in my welfare wonderland

Gone away
Is employment
Here to stay
Is your enjoyment
I did it because
Of capitalism's flaws
Walkin' in my welfare wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say "Are you married?"
You'll say "No, man"
I'll lose my benefits if I ever get tied down

Later on
You'll perspire
As you drink
By the fire
With the hobos and clowns
Who wander downtown
Walkin' in my welfare wonderland

Walkin' in my welfare wonderland
Walkin' in my welfare wonderland


:ownit:
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: miskie on December 21, 2013, 05:39:12 AM
Ill be back to join in later. I need to make my way off to work.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: BlueStateSaint on December 21, 2013, 06:01:59 AM
There once was a prog named "reflection"
Who thought he had written perfection
But if here he should lurk
Know it just didn't work
'Cause it wasn't funny, and you're not clever, and you're not very good at rhyme and meter and basic poem stuff like that, you know?

Cell phones ring
Are you listening
Every day
Less are working
A beautiful sight
That offends the Right
Walkin' in my welfare wonderland

Gone away
Is employment
Here to stay
Is your enjoyment
I did it because
Of capitalism's flaws
Walkin' in my welfare wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say "Are you married?"
You'll say "No, man"
I'll lose my benefits if I ever get tied down

Later on
You'll perspire
As you drink
By the fire
With the hobos and clowns
Who wander downtown
Walkin' in my welfare wonderland

Walkin' in my welfare wonderland
Walkin' in my welfare wonderland


:ownit:

My wife just chewed on me a bit, for waking her up with my laughter at these.  More H5s.  (She'll get over it.)
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: GunHumper1987 on December 21, 2013, 08:46:57 AM

Oooh, how trenchant. Osacr Wilde is sucking an extra dick in hell to salute you. (http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024205848)


I'll give it a whirl:


You're a 'Mo

Oh the fags on DU are spiteful
they think butt sex is delightful
And they think you've no place to go, and
You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo!

They don't like too much moling
And they think your corn's for holing
They want their hands way down low, cause
You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo!

When they finally bugger good night
How they'll hate to pull out of your corn!
But if you'll really clench up tight
All the way home they'll feel warm

Their woody is slowly dying
And they don't put up with crying
Viagra's the only taste you'll know, cause
You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo!




Wow, you should start writing homosexual books, you really know how to rhyme your words to describe butt sex. Congratulations! Out of all the things to make fun of them about and you choose butt sex... Are you trying to say something?
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: GunHumper1987 on December 21, 2013, 08:47:46 AM
And they think that they are so much smarter and more creative that us.  :lmao:

Being smarter is rhyming about butt sex?


If you say so....
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Big Dog on December 21, 2013, 08:54:04 AM
Being smarter is rhyming about butt sex?


If you say so....

You're just butthurt because we're making fun of you, Pajama Boy.

Have another cup of cocoa.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: RobJohnson on December 21, 2013, 09:21:42 AM
Benghazi? Do they really still celebrate the death of a gay ambassador?
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Carl on December 21, 2013, 09:24:11 AM

Wow, you should start writing homosexual books, you really know how to rhyme your words to describe butt sex. Congratulations! Out of all the things to make fun of them about and you choose butt sex... Are you trying to say something?

That bothers you but making a joke over a terrorist attack and murder of American citizens doesn`t?

Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: GunHumper1987 on December 21, 2013, 09:25:41 AM
You're just butthurt because we're making fun of you, Pajama Boy.

Have another cup of cocoa.

haha yeah, good christian folk making fun of people gets your jollies off!
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on December 21, 2013, 09:59:43 AM

Oooh, how trenchant. Osacr Wilde is sucking an extra dick in hell to salute you. (http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024205848)


I'll give it a whirl:


You're a 'Mo

Oh the fags on DU are spiteful
they think butt sex is delightful
And they think you've no place to go, and
You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo!

They don't like too much moling
And they think your corn's for holing
They want their hands way down low, cause
You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo!

When they finally bugger good night
How they'll hate to pull out of your corn!
But if you'll really clench up tight
All the way home they'll feel warm

Their woody is slowly dying
And they don't put up with crying
Viagra's the only taste you'll know, cause
You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo! You're a 'Mo!



 :II: :clap: :clap:
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: 98ZJUSMC on December 21, 2013, 10:06:25 AM
haha yeah, good christian folk making fun of people gets your jollies off!

Why would we make fun of something that, unintentionally, makes fun of itself?  Laughter, as you may be aware of, is one of God's gifts, too.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: tanstaafl on December 21, 2013, 10:29:51 AM
Benghazi? Do they really still celebrate the death of a gay ambassador?

Yeah.

Why do the DUmmies hate homosexuals?
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: Big Dog on December 21, 2013, 10:35:55 AM
haha yeah, good christian folk making fun of people gets your jollies off!

Who said I'm a Christian?

Stop stamping your little feet, Pajama Boy. The sound of flannel on the floor is making your mom giggle.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: BannedFromDU on December 21, 2013, 11:48:07 AM

Wow, you should start writing homosexual books, you really know how to rhyme your words to describe butt sex. Congratulations! Out of all the things to make fun of them about and you choose butt sex... Are you trying to say something?


     Books cannot have a sexual preference, as they are inanimate objects. I know that you will point to Fat Che's Little Brother as another inanimate object that absolutely has a sexual preference, but that is a specious argument.

     And I make fun of you DUmmies (and I'm sure you are one) because you are most riled by anything causing examination and/or critique of the gay agenda. For example, the Duck Dynasty dustup, which has caused more DU harumphs in favor of free asslove than a conventional hall full of gay Fred Rutherfords.

     If we have learned anything about DU, if there is one consistent fact that has emerged over the last 12 years, it is this: THOU SHALT NOT CAST ASPERSIONS AT THE GAY.

     Would you like to know how I know I'm correct? Here's how I know: my little ditty, which was composed in 4 minutes, compelled you to come to our little Honeycomb Hideout to chime in.

     Quo Era Demonstratum, asshole. 
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: jukin on December 21, 2013, 01:57:21 PM
Except if you're a muzzie.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: txradioguy on December 22, 2013, 12:22:49 PM
haha yeah, good christian folk making fun of people gets your jollies off!

We're christian n00b...not dead.  We actually do have a sense of humor.

Obviously...we let you post here...even if you  did own goal.
Title: Re: DUmmy sends us a Christmas carol - I'm returning fire
Post by: blitzkrieg_17 on December 23, 2013, 02:15:07 PM
I normally don't like to mock Christmas songs, even non-religious ones. But that is some clever satire by CCers.  :rofl: