The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: BlueStateSaint on March 12, 2013, 02:34:29 PM

Title: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: BlueStateSaint on March 12, 2013, 02:34:29 PM
I got this off of Drudge, and it's not really close to April 1st, so . . .

Quote
Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose

March 12, 2013 8:47 AM

Sevastopol, Ukraine (CBS Seattle) – Three elite Ukrainian commandos have gone AWOL.
 
The dolphins are highly trained, intelligent, and can strike anywhere.
 
Ukrainian media reported earlier this month that three military trained dolphins didn’t return to their base in the Crimean port of Sevastopol. The dolphins were reported to be out during a training exercise.

These particular dolphins are trained in the use of special knives and firearms to kill enemy divers. They are also adept in the use of explosives to sink enemy ships.

It’s unknown if the three missing dolphins had such equipment on them when they went missing, but it is believed that they are out seeking mates.

The sex drive makes fools of us all . . . :whistling:

The rest of it is at: http://seattle.cbslocal.com/2013/03/12/report-3-killer-commando-dolphins-from-ukraine-on-the-loose/
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: thundley4 on March 12, 2013, 03:03:29 PM
The Day of the Dolphin. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069946/?ref_=sr_1)

Quote
Dr Jake Terrell, who has been training a pair of dolphins for many years, has had a breakthrough. He has taught his dolphins to speak and understand English, although they do have a limited vocabulary. When the dolphins are stolen, he discovers they're to be used in an assassination attempt. Now he is in a race to discover who is the target, and where the dolphins are, before the attempt is carried out.
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Wineslob on March 12, 2013, 04:06:27 PM
 :drunksailor:
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Mr Mannn on March 12, 2013, 05:45:39 PM
Charlie the Tuna is reportedly in hiding.
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: JohnnyReb on March 12, 2013, 06:42:05 PM
Call me when someone fries up some killer catfish.
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Ptarmigan on March 13, 2013, 12:31:12 AM
Good thing they are not bunnies.
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Conservative Libertarian on March 13, 2013, 06:14:40 AM
Where's Flipper when we need him?
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Dori on March 13, 2013, 11:34:45 AM
Maybe they're double agents.  We had some attack dolphins go missing after Katrina.
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Eupher on March 13, 2013, 11:36:33 AM
Where's Flipper when we need him?

Flipper became a gay prostitute and began turning tricks in the Key West area until AIDS caught up with him. He died in 1984.
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Conservative Libertarian on March 13, 2013, 12:17:43 PM
Flipper became a gay prostitute and began turning tricks in the Key West area until AIDS caught up with him. He died in 1984.

A sad story indeed.
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: CG6468 on March 13, 2013, 01:03:47 PM
A sad story indeed.

Was this story flipped?
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Skul on March 13, 2013, 06:18:28 PM
Was this story flipped?
Yes, it was a small fluke.  :whistling:
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Eupher on March 14, 2013, 07:25:48 AM
Yes, it was a small fluke.  :whistling:

Small fluke? I dunno. I see a pretty big blowhole here. Enough to torpedo the whole damned story.
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: SSG Snuggle Bunny on March 17, 2013, 09:31:44 AM
It sounds like the plot-line of a $10 million movie:

Quote
Killer Commando Dolphins: Smiling death from the deep

Three dolphins, trained by Ukranian special services, escape their handlers. Driven mad by their experiences they wreak vengeance on a remote Carribean beach-front resort. Starring Jessica Alba as the beautiful young marine biologist desperately trying to warn the greedy resort owner of impending doom. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is the ex-Navy SEAL trying to forget his troubed past while on vacation only to be catapulted into the greatest fight of his life. Co-Starring Haley Joel Osment with special appearance by N'Sync's Joey Patone.
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Mr Mannn on March 17, 2013, 03:30:00 PM
The dolphins conspired to escape to be mad killers and inspire a terror movie. They were headed towards American waters when a Tuna Trawler scooped them up and processed them as Tuna salad.

Sadly the SciFi made for cable movie never was made.
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Big Dog on March 17, 2013, 03:43:37 PM
It sounds like the plot-line of a $10 million movie:

Killer Commando Dolphins: Smiling death from the deep

Three dolphins, trained by Ukranian special services, escape their handlers. Driven mad by their experiences they wreak vengeance on a remote Carribean beach-front resort. Starring Jessica Alba as the beautiful young marine biologist desperately trying to warn the greedy resort owner of impending doom. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is the ex-Navy SEAL trying to forget his troubed past while on vacation only to be catapulted into the greatest fight of his life. Co-Starring Haley Joel Osment with special appearance by N'Sync's Joey Patone.



I like it, but it needs Danny Trejo as a Mexican gardener who is actually a Ukrainian sleeper agent!
Title: Re: Report: 3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose
Post by: Rebel on March 18, 2013, 01:30:14 PM
Guess it could be worse. It could be laser sharks.



(http://www.kellygolob.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/laser-shark.gif)