The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: GOBUCKS on January 20, 2013, 04:13:02 PM
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Following is from the DUmp's boobyhatch, which has seen a drastic falloff in activity lately. Only three threads since Friday.
At his best, DUmmy Dennis the Menace, the DUmp's professionally diagnosed lunatic, can start that many threads in a couple of hours.
The loonybin just isn't the same without crazy Dennis.
Sun Jan 20, 2013, 02:00 PM
easttexaslefty (987 posts)
I need to vent this.
Look. I have a mental illness. My mental illness are major depression, PTSD and an anxiety disorder.
The trigger of mental illness was the suicide of my 33 year old son by hanging. I also found his dead body.
Since his death I have attempted suicide 3 times. Once by hanging. It is incredibly difficult and physically painful to die that way. Leaning into that rope hurts and you know you could flap there for at least 5 minutes in terrifying pain. The other 2 times were by overdose. I took many many pills. A ton of pills. Did not kill me. If I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/11513017
Well, DUmmy easttexaslefty, some of us see your bouncy as an argument in favor of easier access to firearms.
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So let me get this bouncy straight - the guy found hanging too long and painful (seriously can't make that up if you wanted to), and he took many many pills (baby aspirin?). Thank goodness he didn't have a gun...because??? it's idiot proof?
:whatever:
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Fourth times a charm...
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I bet he'd miss anyway.
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easttexaslefty (987 posts)
I need to vent this.
Look. I have a mental illness. My mental illness are major depression, PTSD and an anxiety disorder.
The trigger of mental illness was the suicide of my 33 year old son by hanging. I also found his dead body.
Since his death I have attempted suicide 3 times. Once by hanging. It is incredibly difficult and physically painful to die that way. Leaning into that rope hurts and you know you could flap there for at least 5 minutes in terrifying pain. The other 2 times were by overdose. I took many many pills. A ton of pills. Did not kill me. If I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.
Goodness!!! You dummies would mess up a wet dream!!! Here let me help you dummie. Find a very tall building. Go up to the top, jump off, and viola!!! You will succeed!!! Won't hurt a bit.
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Try,try,try again.
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someone should draw him a diagram
(http://imageshack.us/a/img18/3952/downtheroad022do.gif)
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someone should draw him a diagram
(http://imageshack.us/a/img18/3952/downtheroad022do.gif)
Too painful, aversion to blood, too much to remember to do it right.
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Remember - they need quality material for their next bouncy.
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Goodness!!! You dummies would mess up a wet dream!!! Here let me help you dummie. Find a very tall building. Go up to the top, jump off, and viola!!! You will succeed!!! Won't hurt a bit.
Afraid of heights.
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and he took many many pills (baby aspirin?).
:whatever:
Somebody, somewhere, has a broken-into collection of PEZ dispensers that are now missing all of the PEZ.
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Afraid of heights.
You are probably right. In that case dummie, go stand in front a fast moving freight train.
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You are probably right. In that case dummie, go stand in front a fast moving freight train.
I'm sure this primitive would do that, except he probably already has a pending disability claim with SS over his alleged siderodromophobia, and any photos of him around there might jeopardize his claim.
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You are probably right. In that case dummie, go stand in front a fast moving freight train.
Go to NYC and have someone push you off the subway platform in front of a moving train.
They're 2 for 2 so far. :naughty:
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I'm sure this primitive would do that, except he probably already has a pending disability claim with SS over his alleged siderodromophobia, and any photos of him around there might jeopardize his claim.
AHAHAHAHA.
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How does one fail at hanging themselves?
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How does one fail at hanging themselves?
Aw, hell, Carl.
DUmmies could fail at Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic pistol. :lmao:
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>> I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.<<
Wizard of Oz comes to mind.
"As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her. And she's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead!"
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You and everyone else in the DUmp. Isn't that a requirement for joining?
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The DUmmy should get them one of those guns that fires itself. After all the DUmmies claim it isn't the person that does the killing, it's the gun. :fuelfire:
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Go to NYC and have someone push you off the subway platform in front of a moving train.
They're 2 for 2 so far. :naughty:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Or the dummie could go to Chicago and try to rehab some gang members. Everyone knows nobody in Chicago has guns, what with their strict gun control laws. :fuelfire: :fuelfire:
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Well DUmmy, sorry your attempts to off yourself failed, but I'm sure you're used to failure.
Sad part is, since your "king" issued his decrees on firearms, there will be no real line between mental health records and the federal government and law enforcement. The government will know you're an insane waste of skin, and will refuse to sell you a firearm.
Better learn to tie a hangman's noose.
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His tales of attempted suicide is nothing more than a ruse. His real objective is a gun control agenda.
If I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.
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In his honor, I propose The East Texas Lefty Act.
Any DUMMY who presents to a local police station or sheriff's office with a printout of his/her DU membership will be provided, at no cost, one firearm and one round of ammunition from disposed property. DUmmies must pay for disposal of their remains, or agree to whole-body donation at no cost to the government.
Net cost to taxpayers: Administrative cost of processing application (ten minutes).
No DUmmy need ever fail at suicide again!
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If I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.
Well, damn.
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
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Looks like a lot of guest traffic to this one, from what I've seen. I'm sure the primitives are aghast at the responses here.
To them, I say, if one of your own wants to kill himself, who are we to just his intentions? Keep your laws off of his body!
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Looks like a lot of guest traffic to this one, from what I've seen. I'm sure the primitives are aghast at the responses here.
To them, I say, if one of your own wants to kill himself, who are we to just his intentions? Keep your laws off of his body!
Think of it as a late-term auto-abortion. Just a clump of tissue.
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More proof that the DUmp is full of the mentally retarded and the mentally ill.
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How does one fail at hanging themselves?
Too long a rope. :thatsright:
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So let me get this bouncy straight - the guy found hanging too long and painful (seriously can't make that up if you wanted to), and he took many many pills (baby aspirin?). Thank goodness he didn't have a gun...because??? it's idiot proof?
:whatever:
Not quite.
Back in the 50's' when daddy ran the country store, a blind man's wife brought him around every week selling brooms he had made. He lost his sight when he shoot himself in the temple with a 38. It went in one side and came out the other clipping both optic nerves.
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So let me get this bouncy straight - the guy found hanging too long and painful (seriously can't make that up if you wanted to), and he took many many pills (baby aspirin?). Thank goodness he didn't have a gun...because??? it's idiot proof?
:whatever:
Usually, when something is made 'idiot-proof,' the world builds a better idiot.
Obviously, this ain't the case here.
It's like a monkey trying to screw a football.
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NAME THAT DUmmy (http://www.mindspring.com/~scottr/nde/ralphsuicide.html)
About 20 years ago, I tried to do a swingcide. I got scared so bad that I've never thought about offing myself ever since.
My first wife (I've been married 5 times, my 2nd wife hanged herself, my 5th wife got shot by the cops, the other 3 were divorces, I've got very poor judgement about women) was threatening to leave me for another man. I told her that I would hang myself if she did. She said, "It's your neck, if you want to break it, that's your business". Very cold. After she left, I tried to hang myself 3 times. The first time, I got an old rope in the garage, tied a noose in it, and tried to hang myself in the garage, but the rope broke. Then I went to the hardware store to get some good high-quality hemp rope. The hardware store salesman looked at me strangely, and told me that he wouldn't sell it to me, that I didn't look right, that I looked like I was going to hang myself. At the next hardware store, the guy looked at me kind of funny, and said, "I don't have any rope, not a drop". I could see the coils of rope behind the counter, he was lying to me. I yelled at him, "What makes you think I'm going to hang myself?"
The third hardware store had a young guy at the counter, and he sold me the rope without question. I went home, and tried to hang myself again. This time I had tied the rope too long, and my feet went all the way down to the floor. I had failed again. The third attempt, I tied the rope to a tree in the back yard. I kicked the stool out from under me, and I felt myself drop, and then I heard this loud "Ghaack!" and everything went black. I could feel myself swinging. I could hear this high-pitched laughter, but I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Then I could sense that the demons of Hell were standing around me, laughing and enjoying it. They thought it was funny. They were saying stuff like, "All right! We got him! Yeah! Ha! Ha! Way to go!" I was scared shitless. I knew I was about to die and go to Hell.
I felt myself drop again, I hit heavily on the ground on my side, and then all the light came swimming back in. My next door neighbor was standing over me with a machete. He had cut the rope. He yelled at me, "Of all the damn fool things I have ever seen, this takes that cake! You stupid idiot! You could have died!" I was angry at him, and I wanted to kick his ass. But he saved my life that day. I wrenched my neck pretty badly, it took several weeks for the burn marks to go away.
Offing yourself: It's not worth it.
Ralph
ObT: I shitted and pissed myself while I was hanging there.
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NAME THAT DUmmy (http://www.mindspring.com/~scottr/nde/ralphsuicide.html)
About 20 years ago, I tried to do a swingcide. I got scared so bad that I've never thought about offing myself ever since.
My first wife (I've been married 5 times, my 2nd wife hanged herself, my 5th wife got shot by the cops, the other 3 were divorces, I've got very poor judgement about women) was threatening to leave me for another man. I told her that I would hang myself if she did. She said, "It's your neck, if you want to break it, that's your business". Very cold. After she left, I tried to hang myself 3 times. The first time, I got an old rope in the garage, tied a noose in it, and tried to hang myself in the garage, but the rope broke. Then I went to the hardware store to get some good high-quality hemp rope. The hardware store salesman looked at me strangely, and told me that he wouldn't sell it to me, that I didn't look right, that I looked like I was going to hang myself. At the next hardware store, the guy looked at me kind of funny, and said, "I don't have any rope, not a drop". I could see the coils of rope behind the counter, he was lying to me. I yelled at him, "What makes you think I'm going to hang myself?"
The third hardware store had a young guy at the counter, and he sold me the rope without question. I went home, and tried to hang myself again. This time I had tied the rope too long, and my feet went all the way down to the floor. I had failed again. The third attempt, I tied the rope to a tree in the back yard. I kicked the stool out from under me, and I felt myself drop, and then I heard this loud "Ghaack!" and everything went black. I could feel myself swinging. I could hear this high-pitched laughter, but I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Then I could sense that the demons of Hell were standing around me, laughing and enjoying it. They thought it was funny. They were saying stuff like, "All right! We got him! Yeah! Ha! Ha! Way to go!" I was scared shitless. I knew I was about to die and go to Hell.
I felt myself drop again, I hit heavily on the ground on my side, and then all the light came swimming back in. My next door neighbor was standing over me with a machete. He had cut the rope. He yelled at me, "Of all the damn fool things I have ever seen, this takes that cake! You stupid idiot! You could have died!" I was angry at him, and I wanted to kick his ass. But he saved my life that day. I wrenched my neck pretty badly, it took several weeks for the burn marks to go away.
Offing yourself: It's not worth it.
Ralph
ObT: I shitted and pissed myself while I was hanging there.
DUmmies need government assisted suicide......wait a minute, ain't that in Obamacare.
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The OP DUmmie apparently tried leaning into the rope. Didn't do the kick-the-stool method, as that would be maybe too final.
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The OP DUmmie apparently tried leaning into the rope. Didn't do the kick-the-stool method, as that would be maybe too final.
More likely a failed attempt at Auto Erotic Asphyxiation. Don't judge him though, the way things are headed it will soon be added to the ever growing list of normalized behaviors.
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This DUmmie is like the suicide calls the local fire department gets from time to time. No one that is serious about suicide is going to call anyone, they just do it and be done with it. The ones that call and say, "I just took a lot of pille tot try and commit suicide by taking a bottle of aspirin," want attention.
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The OP DUmmie apparently tried leaning into the rope. Didn't do the kick-the-stool method, as that would be maybe too final.
He only wanted to kinda-sorta hang himself so he could bouncy for his fellow retards.
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Bungee cord would have made it a better bouncy. :-)