The Conservative Cave

The Bar => The Lounge => Topic started by: mamacags on May 22, 2008, 10:52:44 PM

Title: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: mamacags on May 22, 2008, 10:52:44 PM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Schadenfreude on May 22, 2008, 10:54:27 PM
I have no advice but I am  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Rebel on May 22, 2008, 11:05:04 PM
Shoot the dog.


Hey, you asked.  :-)
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Lord Undies on May 22, 2008, 11:06:11 PM
How old is she?  Most females get out of the humping stage when they mature enough to become fertile.  My toy poodle is getting out of it now.  She'll be a year old next month.  She was in love with my right foot (in socks).  I called it my foot massage.  I'd sing "I've Been Workin' On The Railroad" while she went to town.

The humping fulfills a basic need they have so I never discouraged her.  It's not like she would leave a mess behind.  
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Schadenfreude on May 22, 2008, 11:11:45 PM
How old is she?  Most females get out of the humping stage when they mature enough to become fertile.  My toy poodle is getting out of it now.  She'll be a year old next month.  She was in love with my right foot (in socks).  I called it my foot massage.  I'd sing "I've Been Workin' On The Railroad" while she went to town.

The humping fulfills a basic need they have so I never discouraged her.  It's not like she would leave a mess behind.  

Oh dear, the visual is just too ... much.  :evillaugh:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: RobJohnson on May 22, 2008, 11:22:32 PM
How old is she?  Most females get out of the humping stage when they mature enough to become fertile.  My toy poodle is getting out of it now.  She'll be a year old next month.  She was in love with my right foot (in socks).  I called it my foot massage.  I'd sing "I've Been Workin' On The Railroad" while she went to town.

The humping fulfills a basic need they have so I never discouraged her.  It's not like she would leave a mess behind.  

Did you post the youtube link yet?
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: mamacags on May 22, 2008, 11:36:50 PM
She is at least 2 now.  However, her IQ is like 4 on the sliding 0-100 dog IQ scale.  You must really love your dog to let her have such an unholy relationship with your foot. :therock:  I think her basic need is to make my pillows into her own personal love doll. 

P.S. She got spayed when she was still a pup.  Maybe she is gender confused. :confused: :leghump:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: asdf2231 on May 22, 2008, 11:45:54 PM
Buy her a doggy vibrator?  :rotf:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Dixie*Darling on May 23, 2008, 12:12:46 AM
 :rotf: :lmao:

Mama, your posts always crack me up, but this one takes the cake!
H5 to you for having a dog that's getting more sex than I am ..

... oh wait, the dog is having more sex than me   :bawl:  crap!
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Randy on May 23, 2008, 04:29:30 AM
:rotf: :lmao:

Mama, your posts always crack me up, but this one takes the cake!
H5 to you for having a dog that's getting more sex than I am ..

... oh wait, the dog is having more sex than me   :bawl:  crap!

I see Mama could make a fortune sewing cushions for the sexually deprived members here  :rotf:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Schadenfreude on May 23, 2008, 05:51:32 AM
:rotf: :lmao:

Mama, your posts always crack me up, but this one takes the cake!
H5 to you for having a dog that's getting more sex than I am ..

... oh wait, the dog is having more sex than me   :bawl:  crap!

I see Mama could make a fortune sewing cushions for the sexually deprived members here  :rotf:

Mama's Love Cushionsâ„¢. Ima buying a few.  :lmao:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: jtyangel on May 23, 2008, 06:08:33 AM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?

It's like a dirty family secret.  :lmao:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: mamacags on May 23, 2008, 07:02:10 AM
Someone already cornered the market on "love cushions" http://www.coolest-gadgets.com/20060627/the-love-cushion/

http://www.romanticgifts.com/sexpigeyouin.html
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: RGSG99 on May 23, 2008, 07:03:16 AM
They have this stuff called bitter apple spray.  It is supposed to "repel" dogs.  You might try that.
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: JohnnyReb on May 23, 2008, 07:05:40 AM
So, that's where lint in the bellybutton comes from. Learn something new everyday.
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: megimoo on May 23, 2008, 07:41:56 AM
How old is she?  Most females get out of the humping stage when they mature enough to become fertile.  My toy poodle is getting out of it now.  She'll be a year old next month.  She was in love with my right foot (in socks).  I called it my foot massage.  I'd sing "I've Been Workin' On The Railroad" while she went to town.

The humping fulfills a basic need they have so I never discouraged her.  It's not like she would leave a mess behind.  
I am tempted but I'll be good !
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: DixieBelle on May 23, 2008, 08:38:35 AM
There are several sprays at the pet store that you can use. Just be cautious because the ones that are bitter, are REALLY bitter! You may want to use lightly and be downwind when you spray. I used it on a sofa leg that our cat wouldn't leave alone. Worked like a charm but it smelled for a bit until it dried and I did accidentially inhale it and it was so nasty! Maybe you could buy some really cheap throw away pillows and put the good ones away until company comes over?
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: BEG on May 23, 2008, 11:04:33 AM
LOL this is funny, I am laughing at you.
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Wineslob on May 23, 2008, 12:38:57 PM
I could tell you, but you would probably get arrested.  :lmao:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Chris_ on May 23, 2008, 12:40:31 PM
Eh could be worse....it could be thing for cars or gators.   :lmao:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Bondai on May 23, 2008, 04:45:40 PM
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Lord Undies on May 23, 2008, 04:50:32 PM
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.

They work for potty training kids too.
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Chris_ on May 23, 2008, 05:02:09 PM
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.

They work for potty training kids too.
They should be standard issue for our congress-critters too, but they'd drain the power grid in DC on the first day.
 :-)
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Schadenfreude on May 23, 2008, 05:47:36 PM
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.

O M G... we had been drinking and a friend of ours put his lab's bark collar on his own self. We all started laughing when he got zapped by his laughter. It was simply the stupidest thing I have ever witnessed. 
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on May 23, 2008, 06:03:25 PM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?
Glue a picture of Rosie O'donnell to each pillow :-)
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on May 23, 2008, 06:05:19 PM
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.

O M G... we had been drinking and a friend of ours put his lab's bark collar on his own self. We all started laughing when he got zapped by his laughter. It was simply the stupidest thing I have ever witnessed. 
Wasn't that funny I still got the marks on my neck from that....oh wait...nevermind :-)
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Schadenfreude on May 23, 2008, 06:17:04 PM
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.

O M G... we had been drinking and a friend of ours put his lab's bark collar on his own self. We all started laughing when he got zapped by his laughter. It was simply the stupidest thing I have ever witnessed. 
Wasn't that funny I still got the marks on my neck from that....oh wait...nevermind :-)

Would you really do something like that? For me?  :lmao:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on May 23, 2008, 06:19:34 PM
Shock collar...it's what I used to teach my Yorkie not to bark at everything that moves, harmless yet effective.

O M G... we had been drinking and a friend of ours put his lab's bark collar on his own self. We all started laughing when he got zapped by his laughter. It was simply the stupidest thing I have ever witnessed. 
Wasn't that funny I still got the marks on my neck from that....oh wait...nevermind :-)

Would you really do something like that? For me?  :lmao:
Sure anything for a laugh :-)
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Airwolf on May 23, 2008, 06:38:37 PM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?


Well all I can say is if all else fails you may have to get something from a vet or move the dog outside for the most part.
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: DixieBelle on May 23, 2008, 08:35:31 PM
I know, get new pillows that don't smell like boy dog. :-)
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: jtyangel on May 23, 2008, 09:02:40 PM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?
Glue a picture of Rosie O'donnell to each pillow :-)

I think the female guests might have a real issue with sitting on Rosie's face...just sayin' :thatsright:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on May 24, 2008, 07:00:12 AM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?
Glue a picture of Rosie O'donnell to each pillow :-)

I think the female guests might have a real issue with sitting on Rosie's face...just sayin' :thatsright:
You mean you girls aren't into angry,over weight,loud mouth bull dykes? :-)
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: jtyangel on May 24, 2008, 07:18:17 AM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?
Glue a picture of Rosie O'donnell to each pillow :-)

I think the female guests might have a real issue with sitting on Rosie's face...just sayin' :thatsright:
You mean you girls aren't into angry,over weight,loud mouth bull dykes? :-)

That would be a resounding 'no'. If I'm to get it on with a girl she better at least look as good as me, if not better. :-)
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: DumbAss Tanker on May 24, 2008, 07:49:39 AM
You could try dressing her as a car and introducing her to this guy:  http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,7676.0.html (http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,7676.0.html)

 :evillaugh:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: Toastedturningtidelegs on May 24, 2008, 09:20:39 AM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?
Glue a picture of Rosie O'donnell to each pillow :-)

I think the female guests might have a real issue with sitting on Rosie's face...just sayin' :thatsright:
You mean you girls aren't into angry,over weight,loud mouth bull dykes? :-)

That would be a resounding 'no'. If I'm to get it on with a girl she better at least look as good as me, if not better. :-)
You must let me know when this momentus occasion occurs. I'll be there with cameras on :-) Oh and just in case :picsneeded: :-)
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: jtyangel on May 24, 2008, 09:47:32 AM
You could try dressing her as a car and introducing her to this guy:  http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,7676.0.html (http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,7676.0.html)

 :evillaugh:

I'm not even clicking there since I know exactly which guy you mean.  :lmao:
Title: Re: How do I get my female dog to stop humping my couch pillows?
Post by: jtyangel on May 24, 2008, 09:49:39 AM
Seriously!??! :banghead:  I sewed all of these things by hand and they are beautiful but every time I turn around the dog is going to town on them. :thatsright:  Throwing things at her head seems to work for like 2 minutes at a time but then she goes right back to it.  In the mornings I find the pillows all over the house where she has taken them on romatic get aways to the breathtaking view in the hall or the serene setting of the bathroom.  She doesn't even bother to buy them wine or dinner.

 I am starting to feel bad for our guests who love to pile them around them while they sit on my couch.  Also, is it bad that guests are allowed to use the pillows but the family shuns them like an open oozing wound?
Glue a picture of Rosie O'donnell to each pillow :-)

I think the female guests might have a real issue with sitting on Rosie's face...just sayin' :thatsright:
You mean you girls aren't into angry,over weight,loud mouth bull dykes? :-)

That would be a resounding 'no'. If I'm to get it on with a girl she better at least look as good as me, if not better. :-)
You must let me know when this momentus occasion occurs. I'll be there with cameras on :-) Oh and just in case :picsneeded: :-)

There's no need to record such an event unless you are planning on watching it over and over again.

oh... :lmao: